Friday, December 31, 2004

Last Day of the Fucking Year

it was a FUCKING year, was it not?
i glanced back at my entries from about august through november and they're filled with a lot of vitriol (not undeserved, mind you) toward W. and the GOP at large.
I still hate them, but i had to let that shit recede so it didn't completely consume me. and it did consume me.
as many have said, i felt like someone had died the day after the election, or i should say, the several days after the election.
it was hard.
fucking sucked.
but we have to deal. we have to accept this. and pray that things will be ok.
a lot to ask i realize.

so what am i doing today?
enjoying my day off (second day in a row! four day weekend yo! fuck yeah bitches), getting my cds together, finally, though i'm realizing how big of a job it really is. christ almighty for heaven's sake.

what else am i doing?
drinking Red Tail. a damn fine red ale from Ukiah, Calif. i've found i really like a lot of California beers. it really does feel like i've moved to a different country here in California.
i love it here. even with all the bullshit, all the people, all the everything. still worth it.

all of it.
love love love california. this is my home.
though i had a good visit back to my native land of grand rapids, michigan, last week. a week ago today was christmas eve, unbelievably, and i was just getting on the road to head north to Ensley Center, near Howard City, Michigan, to see my dad's mom. she just turned 80 recently. i love talking to her. i love talking to both my grandmothers actually. i've bonded with them the last few years, since i've moved West. always talking about the past, it seems. i guess i'm the only one in the family that's so interested in the past...but that's what grandmothers have, above all else. experience. life experience. the past. remembering where we came from.
i love all that.
the reason i'm here right now writing this is because of the decisions of my ancestors before. yeah, i know how it sounds, but i really do think about this a lot. it's important, to know where you came from, i feel. we have so little else to hang onto these days. i don't want to forget about my past, my family.

so there it is.
2004 is less than 9 hours from being over.
it's crazy.
2004 was a fucked up crazy year.
i realize we are living in very unique times. i feel lucky to be living through a time of such great, fast-moving change.
though the concept that i'm continuing to age is a little strange for me.
the bad cliche that it is, "time marches on" still rings true.
it's messed up.

my stomach growls right now.
i gained at least five pounds over the holidays.
not that i should be surprised. i'm not.
though i'm bummed because i was just starting to let the weight drop lately.
oh well, back on to the leaner diet for me, i'm sure.
i've done well this year, quitting soda pop being a huge feat for me.
no shit.
i've been drinking soda pop since i was a small child. hence, why my teeth should be in slightly better shape than they currently are. they ain't falling out just yet, but i'm going to have to worry about it till the rest of my life.

so yeah, rock.
things are changing.
everything is changing.
the whole world is changing.
understatement of the year, no?

of course.
and still i smoke weed.
i do.
i don't care if people know.
fuck it.
it shouldn't be illegal, and in my world, it pretty much isn't.
people here really don't care.
everybody i know smokes at least once or twice a year.
though most i know smoke much more than that.
sure, i realize smoking is still bad, even if it's not smoking cigarettes, which is much much worse.
and i quit that shit may 3, 1999, at 6:38 p.m. EST in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
tis true.
yeah, i've had a few cigarettes since that day, but very very few. and i didn't have ANY cigarettes at all for at least three years, in fact i think one of my first was christmas 2002, when i got super sick from smoking a marlboro 100 of wendie's in fort wayne.
that sucked ass.
i stink currently.

i like the word bloke
i think i have UK envy.
i plan to be in the UK in 2005.
i plan to be in europe more than once.

it is my destiny.
you should say destiny like this "desss-tiiiii-neeeeeyyyyy"
like Darth Vader was saying that shit, you know?

i am serious.
i'm listening to The Streets right now, and right now, with my smoking bowl next to me, cranked up super loud, the rain coming down above me atop the ceiling window i can't recall the name of, the Red Tail next to me. it all works monsignor.

and then a song called "dry your eyes" comes on and you realize that matt was right...the streets (i.e. the guy who is the streets) is too self-serious, too self-important, trying just a little bit too hard.

oh man.
Tina makes porn lighters. she sold three of them to the dude that fixed our shower yesterday.
see, our shower has sucked lately, because the hot water has been getting shittier and shittier, barely a dribble, and there was more than one day i felt like i was suffering mightily in my dribbly, pathetic shower, as i tried in vain to wash my hair with the sort-of there water, the rest of my body shivering in shitty coldness.
fuck it sucked.
finally we got it fixed. it's all better now.
still in time for the new year, you see.

man, 2005.
crazy shit.
how did i get here?
where did i come from?
why am i here?
what the hell am i doing?

questions we all ask ourselves, i think.

what the fuck?
what the fuck?

this world, this time, the people that currently dwell upon it....what is really happening right now?
momentous it seems, yes.
big times, we live in.

everything is changing.
i'm ready for the change.

oh yeah.
fuck mother fucking yeah!

i made it this far.....

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

The Longest Wait

the light at trimble road and orchard is the worst. the lights here in san jose make absolutely no sense whatsoever. retarded. they make you wait forever. sometimes you'll be wanting to turn left and the people going in the same direction as you, but not turning, get 2-3 green lights before you get a left turn green light.
it's an outrage.
and i wonder if these damn lights work on sensors or something because it's damn near impossible to get three green lights in a row on Trimble. Despicable, as Daffy Duck would say.
Christ, i've got barrel fever. and i don't even know what the fuck barrel fever is.

i need coffee.

2:30 p.m.
here's a more thorough analaysis of what might happen to San Francisco if a similar thing causing a tsunami were to happen off the California coast.
IT COULD HAPPEN HERE: S.F. coastline susceptible to huge quake-triggered waves

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

People Who Died

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross notwithstanding, i think our society still has big issues with death and dealing with it.
Even using the word 'dead,' as in, 'Your grandfather is dead,' freaks a lot of people out. Instead, they use words like "John passed away," "Granddad went to be with his Lord," or "Elmer passed."

They're dead. Just like the Jim Carroll song.

anyway, dead people are still interesting. i like to make a mental note regarding a person's living/nonliving status from year-to-year. call me morbid, and you can, but i really do find it comforting and fascinating in some strange way. i mean, not to say i'm necessarily happy about a person's death, but it's an inevitability that affects us all. so why not just accept it?

that all said, here's a comprehensive list of notable people who died in 2004 from the local newspaper rag.
No pictures. you'll have to find those somewhere else.
btw, the December 26 issue of the New York Times Magazine has a great year-end rundown of significant people who died. Not necessarily comprehensive, but that's OK.

Death to death.

and i can't not post this interesting story, which i first heard on the Today show this morning.
Ecstasy to be tested on terminal patients
More than a bit ironic, considering MDMA is considered one of the Schedule 1 drugs the DEA tries to consistently bust people with.
Frankly, i think MDMA would be a viable solution for some terminal patients. at the very least, it'll put someone in a happy place for a while. And if they're terminal, it's not like you have to worry about potential brain damage, you know?

Ashes to ashes.
supplemental: Now that the death toll in Southeast Asia has hit an unbelievable 59,000 and counting (crazy shit), many here in the Bay Area, myself included, wondered about the chances of something like this devastating the Northern California coastline.
here are some answers.
apparently, we're not in as much potential danger as Southeast Asia, mainly because of the deep drop-off of the ocean floor about 10 miles out in the Pacific.

The devastation in Southeast Asia is beyond words. Beyond horrible.
here are a few links to keep updated on the devastation.
Reporters Log: Asia Disaster
Eyewitness: Sri Lanka tsunami
South-East Asia Earthquake & Tsunami
Asia's Deadly Waves
Across the Globe, a Warning Sounded
World Changing

oh my! Christmas is late this year! but it was worth it!

Leonard Nimoy (Spock) delivers up an amazing song of intrigue and joy about Bilbo Baggins, the greatest little hobbit of them all.


Monday, December 27, 2004

Back from the Freezer

Yes, it's true, i have returned virtually unscathed from the Freezing Ass cold that was Michigan.
When i left there early christmas morning, it was 5 degrees.

Horrible, to say the least.

So i'm a bit tired right about now, plugged in with my headphones on and staring at the computer screen i call home here at work.

I managed to visit with nearly all the people i wanted to visit with, barring a few peeps that managed to slip through.
Here tis a few notable things i've been sent today:

Is Your Desk Making You Sick?
This should appeal to nearly anyone who works in an office, like myself. Watch what you're picking up! and clean that keyboard as much as possible.


Forward Ever
This here's a brand new blog from Tomas, outgoing editor of XLR8R magazine. Seems like it might be pretty cool.


Rumsfeld says 9-11 plane 'shot down' in Pennsylvania
Wow, this is quite a stunning slip and/or declaration made by the increasingly embattled Rumsfeld. People should really be looking into this deeper.


Massive Earthquake Kills Over 23,000 Across Indian Ocean Region
The tsunami in Southeast Asia is beyond frightening, especially since i live so damn close to the Pacific Ocean and has made me reassess potential emergency situations that could happen here.

For some up-close-and-personal pics from the scene, check out these scary pics from Phuket.


The iPod Generation
Great story on one of the hottest trends, and changing the way we listen to music. I know i've been forever changed by iTunes (probably more so than my iPod actually) and the iPod.


Hooray For Ulrich!
anybody that knows me, understands my intense -- and recent -- devotion to Ulrich Schnauss, triggering the classic "how did i not know about him before?"
anyway, here's an mp3 blog with some great downloads of past and present work by Mr. Schnauss.
you know he's going to be near or at the top of my list of best albums of 2004. stay tuned for that post later this week.


Speaking of best albums of 2004, i just realized that the Detroit Free Press, for whom i've been a longtime contributor, printed their top albums of 2004.
My contributions are: Scissor Sisters, Magnetic Fields and Ulrich Schnauss.
so right there, you already know three albums that will be making my top 10 of the year.


ya'll come back now, ya here?

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Laptopping in Detroit Metro

Detroit Metro Airport
7:12 a.m. EST (4:12 a.m. my time)
listening to: "Chillosophy 3" compilation

This is the kind of time that i've always wanted to relish.
And now i can assuredly relish this time.
You know, the now time.
the here and now time.
i'm sitting here at my gate, A21, waiting for my flight to Grand Rapids in a couple hours.
and i'm stoked because i'm sitting at my gate, typing this out, surfing wirelessly via my lovely laptop that i adore oh so much.
in fact, i'm mr. plugged in right about now.
on my right sits my iPod, the battery near-death and in desperate need of rejuvenation, plugged into my firewire outlet.
on my left is my power cord, plugged in to one of the few plugs i've seen. but now armed with a laptop, my whole outlook in airports is all about finding a random plug i can use.
so that wasn't too difficult to do.
my headphone jack is running out of the computer as well, so i'm quite closed off from the world around me.
which is a cavernous terminal (to say the least) here in Detroit Metro but quite clearly the only nice part of detroit metro, i must say. the rest of the airport here sucks ass. for sure.
oh, i've also using the other plug for my phone to recharge.

i've got a few schedule while i'm here visiting michigan. which is cold ASS, by the way.
in fact, i'm going to check the temperature.
Ok, we're rocking out at 27 degrees. could be worse.
not to say i'm happy about it, but not unexpected.
this is my homeland, my native land from whence i did come.
but now, no longer do i live.

apparently there is more shitty winter weather coming though.
we were greeted here in detroit one.
there was nobody at the terminal when we arrived, or i should say, nobody at our gate.
so we sat on the plane more than 30 minutes until they opened the goddamn doors.
thankfully, i was in no great rush, since i knew i was sitting here in the airport for a few hours until my flight left.
i even thought about the idea of me renting a car and driving to grand rapids rather than wait for my flight.
but why the hell would i want to do that?
this is why i fly.
so i don't have to make unnecessary shitball trips in the car when i don't have to.
better for me to be sitting here, writing about random crap i see, ya see?

i enjoyed a hearty (well..) breakfast at mcdonald's this morning after we were finally let off the plane.
somehow the rule about not eating at mcdonald's doesn't necessarily apply at airports. i chalk it up to lack of options.
combined with the fact that nothing was open when i first got here.

i must say, i am stoked i was sitting inbetween two thin women. a girl from SF (well, she just moved to Mill Valley, as she told me) originally from Detroit. she was kind of funny actually. because she was sitting in the window seat, she let me know that she was going to be needing to go to the bathroom soon enough. i was like 'it's all good' and did a cartwheel down the aisle.
ok, so the last part was in my head, but it was glorious, i tell you.
but yeah, later on, when it was obvious that me, being the unlucky dude in the middle, and the aisle woman, she who was cracking me up with her earnest sort of new ageness soccer mom type (she called her husband right before we took off to tell him to make sure and remember to cut out this article that she wanted saved for her, also did a 'i love you'), were getting comfortable because window girl goes, pretty bossy pants like, 'now you guys, don't get too comfortable, i'm gonna have to go to the bathroom you know (she hadn't gone yet, you see). it was pretty funny. we talked for a bit.
but yeah, i am happy i wasn't stuck in between two giants or loudmouths or screaming babies.
i was able to sleep, which i did, soundly, i might add. i was pretty damn tired. of course, the special cookie M gave me last weekend definitely helped. i was a little more messed up than i planned to be, but it also put me to sleep forthwith.

one thing i hate about coming to michigan is that i often end up flying Northwest and they consistently suck. this flight was better than many i've had but still, the planes seem chintzy and cheap. definitely the less is more type o shit, you know?

oh so, a good reminder for myself. juice up your iPod before you go on a trip. i felt like a dumb ass when i excitedly turned on my iPod, only to realize that the damn thing was pretty much dead.
and god, i had my laptop plugged in at work all day Tuesday. crapola motorola.
so that was just me being a dumb ass.

there's a fair amount of people already waiting for ol' grand rapids. and we don't even board for another hour. oh actually, i think we leave in little over an hour, 8:55 a.m. to be exact.
so we probably board in an hour.

man, i stink right now. and i didn't eat much. and that mcdonald's definitely hasn't hit me yet.
oh yeah, that's what i forgot to expand upon.
mcdonald's breakfast doesn't seem quite as bad as the meals. i mean, i saw 'super size me.' i know it's shit for food.
but i only had an egg mcmuffin, hash browns and an OJ.
not bad, right?

it's funny. many times, i see girls from grand rapids who are with boys but if i saw the same girls in san francisco, i'd think they were lesbians. the athletic not-so-girly types. i just saw a couple and the girl just didn't quite fit. it was funny.
a guy is walking by me right now very fast, just got off the plane. clearly, he has to go to the bathroom bad.

ok, i suppose i should use part of my time in my hour session here to check my email and shit.

i've got a full schedule while i'm here in grand rapids.
going to see grandma parks this morning, after i get my rental car that is.
then stop in to say hello to my moma, then go hang out with my friend kevin tonight, someone i haven't seen in several years.
also going to hit up troy, christine and some other peeps, kim kibby, rob, my brother, anybody i can.
i've got three days here. i go back christmas morning.
yes, a very quick stay.
it's funny, i see all this activity right now and i can't hear a goddamn thing because i'm wearing my big ol' headphones.
cracking me up.

aw yeah.
i'll probably add more if i see more this morning.
i've also got the new Lord of the Rings deluxe edition dvd, so i'll be checking some of that, though i may do that on the plane. who knows.

holy shit, so i just checked the weather in Grand Rapids right now and it's not looking too good for me.
here's the current advisory, i.e. what i have to look forward to in a couple hours.
>>Lake effect snow showers will continue across the area throughout the remainder of the morning. Visibility will drop to as low as one mile in some of the heavier showers. A few tenths of an inch of snow per hour is possible with the greatest amounts expected along and west of us31 near the Lakeshore. Travel may become troublesome due to the blowing snow and minor accumulations. Very cold temperatures in the teens and twenties will combine with gusty winds to drop wind chills into the single digits this morning.>>

lucky me! whoo hoo!
damn man, that blows.
i suppose i should call my brother.
and send greetings of pure joy and thankless testimony. yes.

so there's one of these walkway things they have at airports to speed you along the long distances and it's funny, i keep looking at people as they go by, and when one catches my eye, i may stare a little longer than normal. and i see that they feel they're being stared at. they may glance back. it's interesting. two dudes just went by on the walkway going the wrong way, on purpose, as they seemed to walk with authority. or at least, adamantly.

Monday, December 20, 2004

The Goose is Already Pretty Damn Fat

there's some christmas song that talks about the goose getting fat.
i just don't recall which one.
but that's something.

this weekend, there was lots more drinking and holiday parties to be had. i did manage to get a bit sick on friday night, due to a combo of cold medicine, lack of food and general stupidity. you'd think i'd learn at some point but i don't.
what can you do.

here's just a whole bunch of random shit.
This is me at Santas last weekend after a few too many cocktails

and for more Santa photos, check out Santarchy and scroll down to the San Francisco section.
Lots of great photos!
childlike punk by good writer Tamara Palmer
sidenote, two of the band members are the young suns of Jonah Sharp, man behind Spacetime Continuum and various electronic shenanigans.
Muzzle Tov
This is so weird.
And so awesome. Be sure to check out the Slide show!
A dog's 'Bark Mitzvah!'
How could Christmas be complete without a thought-provoking rendition of "The Little Drummer Boy" sung ever so, uh, suavely by Marlene Deitrich, in German no less.
Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum
Audiophiles and/or Burning Man fanatics will go ga-ga for all this aural madness.
Sounds Of Burning Man
i haven't checked 'em out but they sound nifty, so i'm sure i'll be delving deep.
more Audiophile awareness here.
i don't really know what the hell this is, but what the hell.
A Singular Christmas
I think they combined various Christmas songs together.
it's very strange.
here's a great way to kill some time at work.
like you were really going to be working.
Pull Bush's Nose
it's strangely addictive.
oh and you should check this out. a good way to avoid shitty conservative corporations.
evil evil evil
Shop wisely!
muzzle Tov to one and all!

Monday, December 13, 2004

Who Took the Merry Out of Christmas?

First, i'd like to give a special thanks to the people in the back, who made all of this happen.
Cuz, you know what, it's time to give credit where credit is due.

it's all about the magical world of Disney and the wonderful elves, who almost never complain or do anything that would get them kicked out on their ass in the middle of a freezing-ass cold North Pole hideaway. Damn, ungrateful elves.

you don't see me complaining.

you read me complaining.

it's different.

don't you know.

also, Santa Claus is supposedly comin' to town (not coming to town, which is different), but i can't substantiate that rumor to be fact as of yet.

this weekend was important for it showed me many things.

1. drunken coworkers are funny but not as fun AND funny as coworkers who i call friends. it's a clear difference, you see.
it's a fact.

2. Going to a time management class is a good thing for me. Sure i'm as gung-ho as the next guy who just attended a work-paid self-help seminar to help me get my shit togetha, but damn, it has helped. a bit. baby steps. shit.

3. focusing is good. making a christmas mix requires focus. i've listened to way too much christmas-related music in the last two weeks, playing a mighty large role as to why i haven't been blogging my ass-ass-ass off. so, as you know, these things come in spurts. creativity. life requirements sometimes get in the way. but you know, 'life requirements' fuel a good portion of my creativity. a interesting situation, to be sure.

4. santas and clowns in one night equals a great time. just when i didn't think i had it in me, i raised, and raised, and raised some more to the (somewhat as) mighty Santas in this year's Santa Rampage-Con-Anarchy thing. basically a pub crawl on foot of 100s of already-intoxicated Santas for a day, spreading some good cheer, and a good deal of drunken madness. Perfect for a warm December San Francisco Saturday. Sure, the subversive bent wasn't quite there this year compared to the two years previous, but you know, it was still pretty fucking fun.
And god knows, we all need to get a little bit more than crazy sometimes.
You too?
Here I Am, Not Quite Rocking Like a Hurricane just Yet

General Santarchy Fun

5. Staying with pretty much the same drink all night, even if plenty is quaffed, results in much less pain the next morning.

it's a fact.

so with that, i go back to making my magical, mystical musical journey to Christmas Neverland.

Hurry down the chimney now, children.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

So Long, Dimebag Darrell

This is some crazy shit. An idiot jumps onstage during a metal concert and blows away four people, including DamagePlan guitarist Dimebag Darrell, formerly of the group Pantera.
I wasn't much of a fan of Pantera, or specifically, the lead singer, Phil Anselmo (total asshole) but it's still freakish to me as a music fan and former metalhead, someone who's been to hundreds, if not thousands, of live shows.
Really sad.

Seminal Guitarist, 4 Others Die in Ohio Shooting
Five Killed in Shooting Rampage at Club
Gunman opens fire at heavy metal concert; guitarist among dead
Former Pantera guitarist among 4 killed at club
'Dimebag' Darrell Abbott: A Larger-Than-Life Guitarist And Human Being
Shooter Was Ex-Marine
Pantera News

You know, i�ve often wondered why that doesn�t happen more, some crazy person with a gun taking out the band or something.
Not to say it SHOULD happen, but the idea of thousands of fucked up people being together in one place getting all aggressive and crazy (esp. at a pantera-type show) in a highly chaotic environment makes the likelihood that one could get away with such an act fairly high.
You�re up on stage, standing high above everyone else, could easily make you a target for some nut with a gun. Then, just disappear into the then-panicked crowd.
I do wonder if this will have negative repercussions on bands playing live in theaters and arenas. Or at least give bands pause when playing live.
Oddly enough, i interviewed ol� dimebag darryl back in the mid 90s when he was in Pantera. He seemed kind of gruff, as i recall. In fact, i talked to him on the phone AND met them backstage in Detroit, now that i think about it.
Getting killed for playing music. Fucked up shit.

and on a cheerier note, here's a story that all the good little boys and girls who want a little something extra from Santa this year.
Santa Brings Christmas Pot to Schoolkids

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Shuckle Beef Diaper for Poodles

Thanks for caring.
And enjoy your pestilence.

i have a headache and i need aspirin. or some other drug. pop a pill. that's what life's all about, right?

here's some fun crap for your weary heads.

first, super weird shit.

Poodle Fitness
This might be one of the odder things i've ever seen. and let me tell you, i've seen plenty mister.
chuckles never knew me like you did.

and now, priceless material from yours truly, shit that's been published for people to enjoy the world over. damn, i still have a headache, just one minute later.

Matthew Dear named artist of the year

Swayzak cd Review for the children

and you have a good day ms. smarty pants. i never liked you or your america. shove it and take that job away from you.


it's an important part of this nutritious breakfast. everything we do is music.
haven't you wondered why the Right is so obsessed with gays, gay marriage, sex in general really, and at the same time, displaying this overreaching sense of bravado, overly cocky even, and defensive. Yet, somehow, also, persecuted by the supposedly wimpy democrats. A bit more than contrarian, don't you think?
i mean, damn.
it's so weird. why is there such hostility in the air right now?
we all have to feel it to a certain extent.

i heard it from my friends about the things you said.

these people seem so obsessed with sex, it's downright fucked.
and i say that with the utmost satisfaction.
come on in, the water's fine.
sexual timezone love channel

and just when you thought it was safe for tea at 10.
this comes along.

remember lynn anderson? the country singer?
come on. nobody ever let you listen to lynn anderson?
she is busted. and not in her rose garden.
Singer Lynn Anderson Charged with DWI

ever notice how different states call driving drunk different things?
like here in california, it's DUI, or driving under interference.
whereas, DWI traditionally stands for Dancing While Impish.
which totally sucks, especially if you're Amish and just wanting to get a good night's rest.
how's that for lemonade and socks?

shove my face into a plate of gooey juji fruits.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Negativland takes on U2's iPod

This so rocks.
Anyone who remembers when Negativland took on the behemoth band known as U2 will appreciate this, sent to me from a coworker's email list.

>>Just in time for the holiday shopping season, I've opened an eBay auction for the Unauthorized iPod U2 vs. Negativland Special Edition. Commemorating the infamous early-90s case in which U2's record label crushed indie noisemakers Negativland, this iPod is a U2 iPod that comes pre-loaded with lots of Negativland tunes, and some fancy box modifications. Experimental noise content trapped in a corporate megarock shell--oh, the humanity! Profits will go to Downhill Battle, a non-profit organization advocating for a less sucktastic music industry.
Unauthorized iPod U2 vs. Negativland Special Edition

Are you ready to go to the moon?
I sure as fuck am!
How about a robotic village and moon base on the moon? oh yeah.
Lunar Robotic Village, Moon Base Gains International Support

Not really a surprise but still something to give pause.
Bush's goals still big, bold

And it's true, we ARE anti-Family.
down with families!
Incredible shrinking US family

The Case Against Condeleeza

Bill Moyers takes the Condi appointment to task