Your Dad Left His Shaving Kit Here

so i'm behind schedule and stuff.
as usual. my life is behind schedule.
i'm actually supposed to be 56 right now.

here's some crap i've been adding to this here thing over the last week.
forgive if a bit of it is a few days old.
you can sue me, you know.

you are not a mammal.
However, Ninjas are mammals.

i was walking through oakland last weekend and noticed a guy was intently reading this book.
So is Mr. Bill right?
that's the real question, now isn't it? I'm unsure. Then again, what the hell do i know?

Frist me once and you will see the error of your ways.
Mr. Frist, you are a pandering fool. And a wimp, apparently, after kowtowing to Daddy Bushie's wanting you to get a vote on John Bolton. good luck, kiss-ass.

let's spend more time talking about this.
seriously, how much you can flog a dead horse?
or a dead issue?
over a longdead woman?

the controversial 10 Downing Street Documents
Bushie, you're a bad boy. Unfortunately, not a surprise.
you should be impeached, bitch.

Picture me in a daguerreotype
America in its photo innocence.
kind of spooky, yet not.

have a 'pepke' and a smile
Pepsi + Coke = Pepke
delicious again peter.

flip flops suck
why would you want to wear flip-flops? they hurt between your toes, they don't do shit, they look dumb and your foot stench is out there for all to sniff.
fuck your flip-flop action, bitch.


STARFUCKER SECTION
Scarlett spurned Tom's Scientology
god, scarlett is hot.

Tom Destroys Oprah
Like, For Real.

Tom Cruise squirted

HILTON'S CHIHUAHUA BITES TV PRODUCER
Hotel heiress Paris Hilton's pet Chihuahua Tinkerbell has torn a chunk out of a TV show producer's hand.
The pooch was accompanying Paris' mother, Kathy Hilton, on NBC morning show "Today," which is filmed in New York, when things suddenly turned "violent" backstage.
Kathy took the dog with her while promoting her new show, "I Want to Be a Hilton," after being enlisted with the job of minding Tinkerbell while Paris visited Los Angeles on business.
A show insider tells Page Six, "Kathy knows everyone just wants to hear about or be with Paris, so since Paris couldn't be there, she thought Tink was almost as good."
"But before she was interviewed by Katie Couric, Kathy was sitting in the green room when the producer came in and said, 'Oh, Tinkerbell!' She put her hand in Tink's Louis Vuitton carrying case and it bit her hand.
"Tinkerbell wasn't kidding -- she really bit in good. The producer had to shake the dog off. It was a nasty bite."

Leo takes a bottle to the head
i wonder what this does for his future film career? face fucker.

.....

Guns don't kill people, guns fuck people UP hardcore!
Or so Jesus says. Jesus was a gun-toting Messiah, right? kicking ass, taking names, making some good wine, walking on water, all that shit was lame compared to his spate of guns he had on the sermon on the mount.

the best T-shirts in the history of mankind
i especially like the 2nd amendment and dysentery ones.
dysentery rocks. unless you're dead.

Popsicle destruction!
Damn, i need more photos of this. Popsicle muck running amuck in NYC.

hot videogame sex hack action
not for those who are virgins, or those who have never heard of sex before.

these lions are damn good lions

NASSA, Blackstronauts and You
Ken Burns wishes he made this.

sweet, my big head is good for something

Get behind me now, anyway
Somebody doesn't like Mr. White.
oh well. it's still a great record.

Post Near-Tsunami Psychosis

Tsunami alert!
oh wait...
last night around 9 p.m., i was comfortably watching VH-1's wonderful program, 100 Greatest Kid Stars, when the screen went blank and they announced a damn TSUNAMI WARNING for the West Coast, including San Francisco.
it was supposedly going to hit within 25 minutes. some crazy shit for a couple minutes, definitely.
but it didn't happen, so, we're all alright, thank you.
though it did make us think 'damn, we're gonna get hit with a hardcore earthquake soon." so yeah.


i learned lots of new words throughout the 'crisis,' including subduction and seismicity. so i got that going for me.
which is nice.

even better, now i can hang with geologists and kick major granite ass!

i was hoping they had a pic of people running for their lives in complete chaos but no such luck

worldwide tsunami love

.....
asexual love
people used to say morrissey was asexual.
of course, the people telling me this were asexual women obsessed with morrissey.

pink floyd reunites
the world awaits pigs on a wing.

God bless Boards of Canada
an old track called "buckie high" for the people.
i am totally obsessed with BOC.
damn.

News Note: The Supreme Court has refused to hear an appeal of a copyright case brought against the Beastie Boys by jazz artist James W. Newton, who claims the group failed to pay him adequately for the use of a sample from one of his musical compositions in its 1992 song "Pass the Mic."

Tainted Love
Ms. Jackson if you're nasty.

bjork and her boy matthew barney make beautiful music together.
You knew this was coming
she's sleeping with him, after all. plus matthew barney is such a glorious freak.

.....
KILL THE GOP
When the president talks to god
Harsh! nice one.
i wish i could have seen the reaction of the audience when ol' bright eyes was playing this song.

Young Republicans make me gag
what's up with that girl singing in the back? And do they all shop at the same cheap-ass department store or what?

Porn Star loves to gag on republicans
porn stars need sexual favors and politics too.
i think this is the same woman Howard Stern was talking about the other day as the woman who stuck her head in the toilet while he flushed it. No, really.

Arnold booed
what a buffoon Arnold is. let's spend more money the state doesn't have on idiotic special elections because you can't get shit through the state assembly. cuz you're weak.
Maybe you won't be back, bitch.

.....
Dressing down is it, yo
even though i do like to get dressed up. reality is we don't dress up like we used to back in the day.

Actor Lane Smith dies
you may not know the name but you'll definitely know the face.
you've seen him in a million things.

Actor Dana Elcar dies
you've seen him in a million things too.

Terri Schiavo's husband, doctors were right
she was even more fucked up than they thought.
she was even blind!
yeah, great way to live, with your brain profoundly atrophied. great.
so all those loony protesters were wrong. big surprise.

still more shit to be worried about - nonstick pans will destroy your brain
maybe not but it might atrophy still ... worry about more shit!

......
ANIMALS ARE PEOPLE TOO
angry tired kitties (note, this site has been down a bit but it's really awesome when it's working)

Gooood dogs ... or BAAAAD dogs??
you decide.

it's goin' DOWN right here, right now

This Is The Day The Lord Has Made

I guess I'm not going to run for office then ...
i wouldn't stand much of a chance anyway. i have those various skeletons in my closet.
not to mention my desk drawer.

My new favorite candy bars
This is the same dude behind Pete's Wicked Ale, which i never really liked. He seems to do a better job with chocolate.
My two favorites are Caramel Knowledge and Maltus Maximus.

Not to be confused with Fred - I Made This

Let's go back to McDonaldLand
damn, Ronald McDonald was a freak.
Grimace too.

Funds for PBS may be sharply reduced
Fucking Republicans, you are such assholes. Now you want to get rid of PBS?
Beyond despicable.

Never mind the war or the economy, what we really need to know is if Howard Dean really meant to say those mean, mean things about Republicans
once again, the media embarrasses itself to no end.

Meanwhile, Bush's approval ratings drop to new lows
Gotta love it. F*ck W.

Find the answer soon, dammit!
we ain't got all day to wait!

Interview with George Lucas in 1977

Ice Cream Truck Music For Your Ice Cream Love
Get on the truck and ride that cold shit!

Rex In Effect, yo
some good tracks on this shit.
i heartily recommend Ive Mendes "If You Leave Me Now" and the Ewan Pearson remix of that Alter Ego track.
I hung out with Ewan in Montreal a couple years ago and he's a fine fellow.

I'm Losing My Edge...REVEALED
"I hear everybody that you know is more relevant than everybody that I know."

White Stripes vs. Terry Gross
Man, that Terry, she's spunky.
not that i've actually listened to this yet.
But she is pretty spunky, i hear.
Here, have a new White Stripes track

This is where i'll be in about 6 hours from now
or so they say.
unless the rapture happens. then i'm screwed.

addicted to the iPod
go forth and listen my son. and listen. and listen. the outside world doesn't matter anymore.

Great American lunch-time fun!
Yep, we did a quick stop since it's like 10 minutes from my work.

Kitty Mania Strikes at the Heart of Liechtenstein

kitty!
the real test here is if you can keep the sound up for more than 2 minutes.

It's raining men ... and/or women

Happy Birthday Ronald!
You freaky ass clown you.

Robots Rock
Everybody's always talking about the children are our future when in actuality, robots are our future. We should be guiding robots and kick the children to the curb.

Speaking of children...
Stay in the trunk kids!
Yet another time to say SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BREED!

Live Kraftverk
Goddamn, i love these stoic Germans.

it's good to see loving christianity in action - more like God hates people who hate 'fags.' Whatever happened to God Is Love? Of course, it depends on which God you're down with, right?

Daddy W wants Patriot Act renewed - Go F*ck Yourself Daddy
Such a whiner, W is.

Hands Free still doesn't mean Safety Free

Mental health will drive you mad

Triple double trouble, Detroit style

Satan Loves the White Stripes ... and vice versa

Fuse-In - I Made This

Cough Drop blues on an airplane
David Sedaris is so damn funny, i can picture the cough drop shooting from his mouth.

It was Doctor and the Medics who covered 'Spirit In The Sky'!
i was having a conversation with one of my friends the other day, who insisted that f*cking Zodiac Mindwarp did a cover of the Norman Greenbaum classic.
i knew it was one of those late 80s psychedelica revival shit bands.
the mystery has been solved. we can all go on now and live.

New Goldfrapp album coming!
sonically, her albums are always such a treat. i need to finally see her live, dammit!

Father, forgive me for my peccavi
please father please.

A Nickel Bag of Funk
Digable Planets resurfaces, playing two dates in SF!
however, i admit, i'm afraid they might suck.
that Cherrywine solo album sucked soooo hard.

Anti-Gay Phone Company!
check out the phone calls, which are easy to miss, labeled "(I, II, III)"on comedian Eugene Mirman's site.
Definitely worth a listen. This is so weird/funny. Only in America.
even better, he's playing tonight here in San Francisco.

I could deal with Bennifer but Brangelina is going too damn far

Wikipedia is my latest obsession site but the Recent Deaths part is particularly fascinating

And don't you forget about the tragedies going on in Liechtenstein!
we've turned our backs on those poor poor castle-bound souls for far too long ...

Remember, have sex with strangers TODAY!

Chocolate Milk is Best

I don't see how the GOP could refute Dean's take, saying they are pretty much a white, Christian party. Duh.

Bush Admin edits global warming docs
yeah, it's a big ruse by liberals....if that's the case, what would be the gain in lying about it? God, Republicans are f*cking stupid, short-sighted self-centered pricks.

As long as you're white, you can get into the US
Even if you're a crazed murderer. Good thing we're keeping our borders tight, huh?

40 really is the new 30
thank god, i'm still got some good years left in me then.

Vintage Ads
talk about old school...

Sigur Ros playing Oakland's Paramount Theatre October 1!
one of the most zoned out times i've ever had at a show was their Warfield gig a few years back. amazing, they are.

Helmut Newton's lost photos!
he's dead, you know.

A Clockwork Orange - title explained
I've always wondered why it was called that.

Porn Video games
oh yeah, baby, oh yeah, oh yeah, ooohhh yeeeeah.

Walk Some Miles In My Shoes

I've been a walking machine this weekend.
Friday night i walked from my house in the Western Addition all the way to Powell Street near Market. Which is like 2.2 miles each way.
Some might say "big fucking deal, a couple miles is nothing."
And you're right. It's not very far, really.
But when you're not used to walking such distances much, 2.2 miles is a distance. Especially when you throw rather steep hills into the equation.

Today I walked again.
Down Divisadero to Eddy, then Eddy all the way to Fillmore, left at Fillmore and up into the hoity toity Fillmore shopping district area, where i snagged me a Peets coffee (frankly the real impetus behind my foot-laden travails) and then went on the hunt for a delicious Sunday breakfast, which somehow usually includes me searching for the ultimate breakfast joint.
I'm still on the hunt and have been for many years.
But then, that's the fun of it, no?
I found a decent place on Fillmore, some French cafe, where i planned to sit outside and watch the people go by.

of course,the place being French, they took forever to wait on me. like, the dude gave me some water and then i never saw him again.
And being the incredibly impatient lout that i am, i decided to give them 10 minutes and that would be it. I would be gone.

and so i was gone.
though it took some psychological doing to get me to move from my relatively comfortable spot on Fillmore, albeit relatively chilly though i was.
but i told myself i couldn't wait any longer. i was already hungry and that seemed like a disaster in the making.
i was not about to wait for some snide French waiter any longer.

so i bolted, went around the corner and then did a southern turn on Steiner toward lower Haight, where i knew there was a decent breakfast place that awaited me.
of course, i can't recall the name of the place but it's good.

What other things did i see on my walks this weekend?

I think i spotted the guy with the really high voice and long stringy hair from The Cockettes in the Tenderloin on Friday night.
He was talking to someone on a street corner near a liquor store.
i'm pretty sure it was him and i did several doubletakes but couldn't verify.
nevertheless...

oh and there was the guy with the bird on his shoulder on divisadero.
i'm always intrigued yet suspicious of people walking around with birds on their shoulders, you see.
i mean...i like birds and all, this being a cockatoo or a mini-parrot or something, but usually the guys i see walking around with birds on their shoulders tend to look a little, um, odd.
so yeah...i paid no recognition to the birdman.

there was the siteseeing tour bus that stopped in that familiar vista in Alamo Square (bottom pic) of the Victorian houses with downtown buildings behind it. people still take pictures of that.
funny too, to see that the people who live there are old (i saw what i thought were two residents from two of the houses).

and the wide range of neighborhoods you walk through, which seem to totally change every few blocks.
all very strange, indeed.

but walking is good, yes yes.

.....
Atlas Reveals Global Devastation

The Case Against Coldplay

Fallout of Marijuana Verdict

Wi-Fi in The Skies

Violet, You're Turning Violet, Violet!

Charlie & The Chocolate Factory
OK, i'm getting excited..

I used to LOVE Circus Magazine

GOP Gov swipes Dean crowd in photo

I would never put my cats in luggage compartment

iPod owners can get $$$ for lame batteries

Tattoos and Floridians don't mix

coldplay frenzy heats up

coldplay album leaked online

Mo' mints, less accidents

Welcome Back Mr. Chappelle

Elemental Satchels Are Yours For The Taking

Your smell makes me trust you

Those monks are fucking bitches, yo

XXX marks the spot, bitch