Sunday, March 12, 2006

Chunky Muzzle

Is it time for the percolater?
That's bullshit, really.

It's a damn good thing I'm sober.
Or else my hologram would shiv your ass from here to kingdom clone.
Speaking of clones, i'm awaiting the day clones are here and readily available.
I'm ready.
I'm down.

See, I ain't afraid of the future.
Even some very wise men have told me "fight the future, fuck the past."
Those wise men would be the men from the band Mindless Self Indulgence.
Which, is something.
Johnny Urine is a fine man.
I saw MSI open for Korn once. That was fucking weird.
Not as weird as the mood I'm in right now.
Which, is something.
If you're counting sheep.
Huh, i've never counted sheep to try to go to sleep.
Instead, I use such tried-and-true methods as turning the TV on, which always seems to rock me to the hardcore REM sleep tip, or spooning, particularly when i'm spooned.
being spooned is a good thing.
I recommend it to all red-blooded americans.
however, i must warn you that i'm a blue-blooded american, spawned in afghanistan, just south of pittsburgh, before you reach the turnpike.
turn left, or hang a louis, as they say in pangea, to the next episode.
speaking of episodes, why the fuck is everyone who wears pants into that show Lost.
to be real here, i just haven't been feeling the tv at ALL in the last year.
it's strange.
actually, i haven't really been into film much of late either.
i mean, shit, i have my small collection of dvds, but those are for the sabbath, which i periodically keep holy.
despite not being jewish.
i mean, being jewish would mean that i killed jesus.
And i ain't no pontiaus pilate, even on a bad day.
i can't take that much power.

i do need some power though. just to keep me sane.
i mean, shit, i can understand how ol' george w. likes his current position.
a total rich party boy.
or as they say on the Yale campus, because my hologram has been there many times and holy shit...
i was just playing Orbital's blue album and was just enjoying "You Lot" but now the song that's on now, sucks my royal toes.
despite the color of my skin.
i must change it.
not that you can relate.
you hate america.

Cocaine Done Killed My Baby

Bush's Approval Rating Falls to New Low
Bush says his beliefs unshaken by poor poll numbers

and now it is time to rejoice and be glad in it.
innit it?


Anonymous said...

i don't get the dealio about lost either but then i killed my TV set 6 months ago. fuck the republicans! damn flip floppers backing away from their glorious leader. they just had to have him. Kerry was so inferior to W. well now they got him and are unhappy. i want repub's tied to him like an anchor. he's their boy. cocksuckers! hope all is well wit tina b. put on some Bill Evans sometime.

Anonymous said...

i think coherent comments violate the spirit of tim's rambling nonsense. grow up!

tim said...

Christ, you maniacal hoodwinkers. Leave your name on the comments so i can bask in the glory of your complimentary prose ... or, if you diss me, i may destroy your very existence with my powerful ESP powers (did you ever see the film Scanners? I can do shit like that, like you know, making people not-so-spontaneously combust).
It's harsh.
Good luck, fuckers.
It's because of you anonymous posters that Led Zeppelin never cured cancer. which really sucks, if you ask me (and don't fucking asking me).
Thanks for cooperating. FutureTim is stoked.

Mike_R said...

I have bad news for Future Tim. He owes me a lot of money.

Poop = poop said...

No Pomme Fritz?!?! Why the ufck say anything about it then. It just shows up as a meta tag when searching the internet. Get a clue jagoff.

timmmii said...

no idea why pomme fritz would show up as a meta tag on this post. but ok.