Wednesday, December 17, 2003

jack white gets mad...and timmmiii avoids fighting at all costs

damn, jack fucked up the von bondies singer Jason Stollsteimer saturday night in detroit.
these pics not for the squeamish.

word on the street is that jack and him have a beef surrounding production credits on the von bondies 2001 record Lack of Communication.
apparently jason has been telling people that jack really didn't do much on their first record....and if you read the above link to the review of Lack, it goes on and on about how jack took the band under his wing.
in fact, i recall seeing the von bondies at the magic stick in 2001, while i was home for christmas, and jack white was there. at the time, i think jack was dating VB guitarist Marcie Bolen. funny.
anyway, word is from some o the peeps at the show, is that jack came up to jason and started yelling "So i didn't produce your record, huh?" and stuff related to that. And then within seconds Jack was punching Jason, so from what i can tell, jack started it....but if jason was disavowing jack's help...which it seemed he gave them (the white stripes were definitely already established by the time von bondies came along and it seemed that was their key distinction in helping them become more visible in the indie rock scene -- i mean, the VB are a good band. i like that record a lot, actually)....then, i can see why jack was pissed.

if any of this is really the true story. which it may or may not be.
who the fuck knows.
i guess the whole incident took like only 30 seconds.
even members of the band playing when the incident occurred could barely tell what had happened. one guy said by the time he realized there was a fight and who it was, it was over.
funny, now that i think of all the fights i've ever seen, rarely do they last very long. often just a few seconds, a few punches, which is usually preceded by pushing and shoving, yelling threats and other animalistic tendencies.

the only ones that ever last long are the ones that are more like wrestling matches, with some punches thrown in.
hmm, that's how some of the fights happened that i was ever involved with.
not that i'm much of a fighter.
i'm a lover, not a fighter, see.

that reminds me of when i was but a wee teen, valiantly trying to avoid conflict at all costs.
i remember sitting in my friend tim danowski's driveway late one night in ol' Comstock Park -- must have been like fucking 1985-86 cuz i was driving -- in my 1972 blue Volvo watching him wrestle with this other dude in their front yard. some punching involved. seemed like it took forever, as i recall.
of course, i was much too terrified to get out of the car, since the other dude's similiarly angered friend was punching at my frickin driverside window, telling me to get out of the car.
yeah, and as soon as i would have i been punched in the face. however....i could have shoved the door in his face unexpectantly. but hey, i was young...i didn't understand.
it seems like we pissed off these guys somehow, though i don't remember how. maybe we were coming from the gas stations just up the street.
i do remember that i had to take tim home, only a few blocks away, and i remember these guys following us. so we pulled into his driveway, mistakenly thinking that they wouldn't follow us onto private property.
of course....this is how I thought...duh. not very realistic.

i think the fight woke up his parents, because it seems like the kids took off pretty quickly. at that point, there was me, emerging from the car without a scratch.
tim was mad at me for not helping him, because i think the one kid punching my window helped his friend with punching tim and finally gave up on me (never mind that the passenger side door was open the whole time -- apparently he never noticed, amidst all of his rage), but when his parents turned the lights on, they stopped fighting and ran off in their car.

god, that reminds me when i was about 9 years old, and we were at this playground in North Park, i believe for one of my mom's church softball games. Ol' Betty Ann played softball for a good many years, she did. she was a damn good softball player, too. she was a rocker.
anyway, we must have been at this playground for a softball game because it was an unfamiliar playground and new kids, so we were at a disadvantage. we didn't control that playground, those jungle gyms were different than ours, and we were unsure of the hierarchy.
plus there were several tough-looking african american kids.
and at age 9, i had been around very few people of color. call it being lucky enough to grow up in Grand Rapids, Michigan, in a super-white suburb (really, i think there one ONE African American boy who attended classes at my school but only for a couple years).
so naturally i was somewhat afraid of them. plus i was small (or as this guy told me last night, a "short inseam" - thanks mark!).
anyway, my friend, jim parris, got into a scuffle with one of the kids because of something i had said or did, not that i actually recall what i did. maybe took their swing or something. i don't know. Jim stood up for me, basically because i was small and afraid.
and he got punched in the stomach for it. ah, to be young again, when life was so simple.
he took a punch for me. and i'm just left with all the guilt, years later.
i mean, i felt bad for him, but i was glad it wasn't me. being hurt sucks.

i did that another time in daytona beach, the night i was severely drunk and told this giant football player type, whose seat i was sitting in, to fuck off.
and they weren't even being dicks to us about us sitting in their seats...that is, until i told them to fuck off.
somehow my friend Kim got me out of that one.

home on the fray
i'm sick of telling people where i'm from. i recall a dude last year being apprehensive to tell me where he was originally from.
he's like "i'm from here, yo, san francisco."
and i'm like "so you were born here?"
"ok, then where are you from originally?"
"Oh, where am i from originally? (all sarcastic)
"um, yeah, originally."

the answer is not the point.
(plus i don't remember, maybe ohio or pennsylvania?)
the point is he lived in san francisco now and considered this home.
and now i consider this home.
i'm sorry i'm not tight with all my buddies in GR anymore but that's how it goes. when you're not living in the same town, it makes it pretty difficult to stay in constant touch. you've all got your own lives to lead. and people generally understand that. of course, it sucks when you never talk altogether but unfortunately some people fall by the wayside. again, nobody's fault, just the way it is.
and don't be thinking all bruce hornsby on my ass right about now!
at least i didn't end it with, "it's just the way it goes, some things will never change."
anyway, my original point was that i'm tired of telling people the whole fucking story of coming here. i need to arrive. i have arrived. but i need to ARRIVE, as it were. but yeah. so...fuck, i'm on some "magic window" right now (thank you boards of canada for giving me 1 minute 46 seconds of silence. i can dig on silence. and wow, the point is well taken, a time to reflect on the preceding tunes on the geogaddi album...but i fucking digress).
i just want to say i'm from oakland. if people keep on delving, i'll be like, yeah, i moved here almost four years ago but not volunteer all the info up front.
let the snubs begin.
on the other hand, california is chock full of people from everywhere else.
so, yeah.
i'm stupid.

but i just like to get angry about stupid shit.
isn't it fun?

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

FFF #10 (Santa Claus Stole My Weekend Edition)

1. Santa!
A sea of red and white as far as the eye could see. More than 200 Santas converged in San Francisco Saturday for the annual SantaCon and it was spectacular fun. Passersby, with looks of astonishment, didn't know what to make of the various Santas, who come in all shapes, sizes, sexes, and creeds. I don't think I'll ever forget seeing all those Santas rocking out in an alley in the Financial District stuffing their faces with corndogs and PBR while a DJ Santa spun tunes from the back of a truck. Or giving high fives to all the kids we saw, most of whom delighted in the Santa extravaganza. Then again, taking over the escalators at the San Francisco Shopping Center was pretty fun too. And so was using the Jack Kerouac alley next to Vesuvio's as a Santa fashion runway. I think the Beats would
have been proud -- or bewildered.

2. The Best Of Will Ferrell on SNL (DVD)
Just so damn funny. I wish it were like four hours. Definitely scrumtralacent. "I've got a fever and the only more cowbell."

3. Goldfrapp Black Cherry (Mute)
I don't know why it took me more than six months to get into this album, but it did. No matter. Anyone expecting the lush, more orchestral elements of Goldfrapp's first one will be surprised by Black Cherry's darker, more sinister electro vibe. Yet, similar to Felt Mountain, this record is a audiophile's dream with pristine production, sounding especially good on headphones or a deluxe sound system.

4. John Denver "Rocky Mountain High" (RCA)
I vaguely recall seeing John Denver perform this song on TV in the '70s, walking in the woods on a large mountain while eagles soared over his head. Now sure, John Denver isn't exactly regarded as being cool (though his death was somewhat mysterious, helping the mystique a bit), but there's something uplifting about "Rocky Mountain High," a pull-at-your-heartstrings, puff-up-your-chest melody. It makes me want to go climb a mountain in my head (it would be too hard in real life).

5. Holiday Party Open Bars
The key is to get invited to as many holiday parties as humanly possible. Sure, it requires being nice to people you would normally never want to talk to (other than exchanging knowing nods of approval while passing in a hallway), but the unlimited supply of top shelf alcohol and free food makes the season just a little bit brighter (except when you ingest too much of that top shelf alcohol and forget to eat, but that hardly ever happens).

One love, one Santa,


Friday, December 12, 2003

Goodbye Keiko

i love whales so much.
i shed a few tears for Keiko tonight.
Keiko died earlier today.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

i'm screwed


Hearing loss in adults could be the result of their short stature. That's the surprising finding of a Swedish study that actually goes so far as to conclude that short people are predisposed to hearing problems. The potential for adult hearing loss develops in the prenatal period, HealthDayNews reports of the research led by Marie-Louise Barrenas of the Goteborg Pediatric Growth Research Centre of Goteborg University.

The study: Two groups of men were recruited for the study. The first group included 479 men ages 20 to 64 who were exposed to noise on their jobs. A second group of 500 randomly-selected men all born in 1974 who were not exposed to noise on the job served as the control group. Data were collected on each man's height, weight, exposure to noise, heredity for hearing loss and other medical disorders, and the use of medication.

The results:
Unexpectedly, there was no association to noise exposure at work and hearing loss among the first group.
In the control group, short men were twice as likely as men of normal or tall height to suffer a hearing loss.
Shortness was associated with a family history of hearing loss.
Among the first group of workers, those who were short had worse hearing than expected for their age.
Short workers were three times more likely to have hearing loss compared with taller workers.
Short workers were 12 times more likely than taller workers to be taking medication.

Barrenas says that during gestation, there are various negative factors that can affect the growth of the fetus. One of these factors is a low level of the growth hormone IGF-1, which causes the newborn baby to have a reduced number of cells at birth. That causes the child to be shorter than normal. That has a lifetime effect on the individual's health and can increase the risk for early onset of age-related health problems, including hearing loss.

The research was published in the British Medical Journal.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Favorite Albums of 2006

my time machine rocks.

1. Fight The Future "Octogenarians O.A.R. (Obey All Replicants)"

2. Len Bias Experience "Able-Bodied Female Seeks Adjustable Fate"

3. The Irish Springs "Clean As A Whistle"

4. Gavin Nuisance & The Chipmunks "Rocky Top"

5. Big Baby Jesus "Away In A Manger (No Crib Remixes)"

Monday, December 08, 2003

Charmin wins this round

it's true. in a just-happened back-to-back test picking up errant urine on the bathroom floor, i used a couple squares of the albertson's brand versus ultra charmin and charmin won handily. you need less paper to absorb a greater amount of urine and other items.
now we know.

it's about the details.

news that happened today:
people died.
people lived.
people moved forward.
people stepped backward.
people fucked up.
people rocked hard.
people fucked.
people broke up.
people yelled.
people pooped.
people enjoyed.
people laughed.
people stared.
people sighed.
people cried.
people died.


supposedly gore is endorsing dean. interesting.

i really hope matt wins. but i'm a bit worried.
i'm 'cautiously optimistic.'


Saturday, December 06, 2003

Surprise! Bushies manipulate Thanksgiving Day visit

I really shouldn't be surprised about this, that the turkey Bush was photographed with on his covert trip to Baghdad was a fucking prop.
This Administration has absolutely no shame in exploiting every situation as much as possible for their potential gain.

Destroy America, Vote GOP

Friday, December 05, 2003

FFFriday #9 ("Turn Me On Dead Man Edition")

1. Vince Guaraldi A Charlie Brown Christmas
At a recent Thanksgiving gathering, one of my friends said this was THE Christmas album and i heartily agree. One of the few Christmas-themed albums i can listen to from front to back and not want to pound my fists on the ground in Christmas angst (yeah, i have issues). Christmasy, yes, but in a round-about way, plus it reminds me of the Charlie Brown Christmas special, which i always thought was cool.

2. The San Francisco Mayoral Runoff Election
Being an unapologetic political junkie, i haven't been this excited about an election since Clinton in 1992. The whole city seems electrified about it, especially Matt Gonzalez supporters. For the first time, someone's running for public office that I can relate to, at least in theory -- he has a roommate, for christ's sake.
Never mind the fact that i can't actually vote in the damn election, being an Oaktown resident and all. Go Matt! It's your birthday.

3. War (If It Feels Good, Do It!) Various (Hip Hop Slam)
A new anti-war compilation from San Francisco label Hip Hop Slam serves up some deliciously harsh critiques of the Bushies, including some clever cut-and-paste speeches of Dubya. Some tracks are better than others, but it's refreshing to hear the hip-hop community coming together with such a unified voice. Especially solid are Tino Corp's "Dubya (Commander In Chief)," Guerrilla News Network's "Good vs. Evil," DJs of Mass Destruction's "War Is What They Got" and lots more.
For more info, click here.

4. American Song-Poem Christmas Various (Bar/None)
Basically, these songs were made by would-be songwriters in the 60s and 70s who would pay to have their song recorded "professionally" by random session musicians (the first one was "The American Song-Poem Anthology"). Now, Bar/None has released a Christmas album, and my god, there is some really wacko stuff on here: "Santa Came On a Nuclear Missile" (duel meanings aside), "Rocking Disco Santa Claus," "Daddy, Is Santa Really Six Foot Four?," and family favorite "Merry Christmas Polka."

5. Lord of The Rings fever
People are genuinely excited about the final chapter. My boss at work turns into a big pile of gleeful geekness when we talk about it. It's nuts, maybe eclipsing (gasp!) Star Wars fever in the late '70s & early '80s.
SPECIAL BONUS FOR LOTR GEEKS: My brother is the manager of a movie theatre in Detroit area and called me the moment he saw an advance screening of Return Of The King earlier this week, raving it was better than the first two installments combined. "People expecting a lot won't be disappointed," sayeth DavePratt.
Opening Dec. 17 (hee).


-1. Republicans (yes again)
Just because. They're such big meanies. Weanies too.

-2. Finding out that the dude behind Mannheim Steamroller is not only a mega-mega millionaire but he was the person behind "C.W. McCall" who wrote the seminal '70s classic "Convoy."
I weep.
preparation - what a novel concept

Now this is encouraging.
We have no more flu vaccines available.

they're gone.
in what is being called the worst flu season in a long fucking time.
looking good.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

any way you look at it, you're obsessed with quarters

hava nigela.
don't you wish you could have robot love like i do?

see, everything changes when you look at things from another angle.

why does nothing make sense?
what is happening? is it all just spiraling out of control in this freefall maze? are we nothing? are we everything?

pep talk for the homeboys.

that's what it 's all about.

i wish i could stand.
i wish you could stand.
i wish somebody could stand up and say hello. for tomorrow we may die.
tomorrow tomorrow.

it's only a day away.
you've got to do something besides licking christmas presents.
you should anyway.
back to the matter at hand.

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Here's a good primer on both candidates in the Mayoral race for San Francisco.

i watched the debates earlier this evening. gavin is SUCH a made-for-tv politician but seems to know very little about anything concrete. he speaks in broadstrokes without really saying anything, hence, he's highly electable in the democratic party's eyes.
even if he loses this race, he'll likely run (and win) for a state congressional seat or something.

but gavin did have some active hand gestures though, including the thumb pushed slightly outward over near-fist, signaling he means business (clinton used to do that all the time). and he stretches his arms out in front of him a lot to, like he's dishing up goodness for all the citizenry. lots of nodding, smirking and hand-wringing.
he comes off very fake, disingenuous...though he did grow up in the marina, which means he's extra extra smart. yeehaw!
i hear his restaurant is good. i've never been. plumb jack's or some shit. yeehaw.

and speaking of yeehaw...

ever hear of a compilation called God Less America?
it's on Crypt Records and is described as "Sick comp of twisted 50s to mid-60s Country & Western tales of drugs, alcohol, murder, stupidity and in-breeding" (though i didn't hear any inbreeding going on).
but plenty of badness that's for sure.
my personal favorite has to be "Please Don't Go Topless, Mother" by Troy Hess, who sounds like he's about 8-10 years old, singing it in all seriousness.
fucked up.
or for super super downer shit, "the drunken driver" by Granpa Joe is about as sad as it gets, a drunk father running over his two young children, the daughter's dying words lamenting how she was coming to see her beloved daddy.
ol' granpa joe sounds mighty choked up.


this other track, "rock n' roll killed my mother" by the Hi-Fi Guys, doesn't even really make sense. like, i still can't figure out how rock n roll actually killed their mother.
and their rhyme scheme is um, interesting.
"if we can't figure out a word to rhyme, why don't we just make 'oooweeee' sounds and make it work instead?"

but please, please don't go topless mother. you don't need to put up a front.

oh! i watched paris hilton in her new show The simple life." i gotta admit, pretty funny, because she's a complete idiot. i think she may have been playing up the dumb element though.
i'll watch tomorrow. i'm such a trendwhore.
classic coke is the best.
your stench is bothering me.

can you my darling, can you picture this?
animals strike curious poses
Ask The Honkey

Alright folks, it's another exciting round of "Ask The Honkey," where you, the extra-informed readers, get to ask the questions you've always wanted to ask white people but were afraid you'd get a severe beating from compassionate Republicans (like Tom DeLay or Rick Santorum) if you actually asked these questions.

Q: Dear Honkey,
What is the most racist city in the United States?

Wondering in Walla Walla

A: Well WIWW,
Before this past weekend, I would have said "Try anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon line!" But thanks to the caring activities of the Cincinnati Police Department, I'd have to go with Cincinnati. I mean, sure the guy was breaking the law by sleeping in a White Castle and calling the cop a "whiteboy redneck" (i wouldn't advise calling anyone in uniform a redneck, even white people) but nobody deserves to get beaten to death. ok, maybe a few people deserve to get beaten. but i'm a peacenik really.

Dear Honkey,
Q: Am I the only person of color in the entire world that likes Paul Oakenfold?

Bunkka Badunkadunkdonk

A: Dear BB,

Dear Honkey,
Q: Is it true that white women don't age as well African American women? Or am i just getting a shitload of premature wrinkles at 27?

Sobbing in Sandusky

Dear SIS,
A: Hello? Didn't you ever hear the saying "Black Don't Crack?" Apparently not, you fool. I mean, sure, genes and all that shit have something to do with it. But i've also noticed that white girls, ahem, i mean "party" girls, end up getting those crows feat creeping in at about 25 or so, more pronounced by 30. The laugh lines, the forehead wrinkles, the nose crinkle, all of it, starts loading up sooner than you think -- especially if you're lining up a bunch of rails every weekend, smoking a bunch of cigarettes, and drinking 5-30 beers each weekend night. i recommend getting a lot more sleep, doing less/more drugs, steal yourself a bunch of needles and start injecting botox into your skull, and wear a lot more wrap-around sunglasses as fashion statements.
Also, don't smile or laugh as much. Be extremely serious. You'll have a lot to be brooding about anyway because your face looks like real shit.... your anxieties are about to take root and multiply, grandma.
See SIS, you're not smiling now.

Dear Honkey,
Q: Do cats face racial discrimination like some humans do?

Pondering in Paducah

A: Of course they do. My cat Frank is often discriminated against because of the color of his fur and it's fucking bullshit. I mean, look at this cat, forcing him into the cramped, singular room just because of his fur color. Poor kitty, he should eat those people. I mean, come on, look at Roy Horn. He had it coming.

that's all the time we have today.
if you're interested in asking the honkey a question, be sure to email him at:

and ask for honkey.
he'll try to satisfy all your honkey needs.
sorry, most white people not eligible to submit until you pass rigorous safety standards mandated by the Patriot Act.
and remember, honkeys aren't all bad. you might like to own one of them someday. Just ask Karl Rove how happy he is to be owned.

your friend and patriot,
Captain Fat-Ass the Honkey
Offending white people for centuries

Monday, December 01, 2003

How can people be so intolerant?

I'm literally amazed, though i shouldn't be, at the level of ignorance going on in this country.
Punishing a child for saying the word "gay" is fucking ridiculous and repugnant, even worse when you find out he was merely describing his mother.

I'm so appalled. Fucking fools.
i guess the biggest question i have to conservatives is this: How does a person being gay affect you or your life in any way?
I have many friends who are gay and/or bisexual and it has absolutely no bearing on my life whatsoever, as far as their sexuality affecting me in my daily life. Just like most people's sexual partners have no bearing on me in my daily life. And why should it?
There is no reason.
Close-minded hate-mongering Christians (itself an oxymoron considering Christians are supposed to be all about love -- yeah, as long as you believe their narrow-minded logic) simply want to push their belief system onto everyone else.
I grew up going to a Baptist church, even a Baptist private school for three years, so it's not like I'm talking out of my ass here, and i can tell you i consistently viewed hypocritical behavior on their part, often hateful behavior --- like toward me.
i know the bible. i studied it, i've read it, more than once. And while Jesus taught people to bear witness to their faith, i never got the impression it meant forcing them to believe what you believe. persuasion is something else. attempt to persuade as much as you want. i can run away from you.
but don't shove your skewed hateful rhetoric down my throat if i don't want it.

you know, it's funny, i don't even believe in marriage at all. i think it's a outdated, asinine concept that people largely follow because it's "the right thing to do."
yeah, slavery at one time was thought of as being "the right thing to do." but gee, somehow we eventually realized that we were grossly violating fellow humans' basic rights as individuals.

ah..i know i'm spinning a familiar tale here, one that you've heard before but i just can't fucking believe how foolish and wrong people are. i don't pretend to have all the answers but i do know that letting people have whatever sex they want with other consenting adults, no matter what gender they are, is a basic fundamental right as a living being.

what, are christians angry because people are actually having sex for (gasp) pleasure only???? are they mad because it's not for procreation?
hello! eventually the U.S. will restrict the number of children you have just like china already has because we're going to run out of room on this planet someday in the not-too-distant future.
but yeah! let's just keep on procreating and fill up the planet with our magical seeds. but don't forget, sex isn't pleasurable. sex is just for more humans to use up more of the earth's finite resources.

god....this could go on forever, i know.
this ranting.

but i just don't get why people are so vehemently against gay marriage or gays in general. people can spout about "god's law." yeah, this is the same god who advocated polygamy but we don't think that's ok anymore. how is it that some of the things god approved of back in B.C. times (ah, the good old days, right?) he no longer approves of?
i used to ask that of sunday school teachers as a kid and was always rebuffed with little or no answers...or with some shit like "you've just got to have faith, timmmy. it's god's will."
yeah, god's will to be whatever you conveniently find to be reprensible or unapproving on any given day.

my original point about marriage is that it's outdated and a custom that is no longer necessary. and yes, i realize the rewards our god-loving government will give me (not to mention what my family would give me as far as money and gifts) if i was made into a perfect union under god's eyes. but that just makes me more anti-marriage, more resistant to that lockstep form of conformity.

but yet...see, here's where, if i were a hate-mongering christian believing this, i would continue to barrage everyone i know the horrors of satanic marriages and that all the people didn't believe me, well, they'd be going to hell then. because that's how they are about the gay marriage thing.

see, i can show my maturity and ability to think rationally as a human saying that, while i hold these strong opinions about marriage, they are still just opinions and not necessarily fact to anyone else but me. hence, there's no way i would in any attempt others to be forced to believe this. if you want to get married, that's fine, great, rock on with your bad selves.
how does that affect me?
not in the least bit.

so why should there be any difference between the choices of a heterosexual or a homosexual person? it's a personal choice.

this could and will go on forever.
of course i have other things i should be working on.

i need some grape juice.
Good morning, it's December 1.
Merry Capitalism!

FFF #8

1. Kompakt tour feat. Michael Mayer & Reinhard Voigt at Club Six, SF, 11.28
I felt compelled to get outta the house Friday night and yay for me, twas fun fun fun! The Cologne, Germany-based techno label represented in the USA for the first damn time on this tour. Really solid music, just the right mix of minimal techno with slivers of funk. i haven't danced like that in awhile. felt good. i was exhausted all day saturday and it was worth it.

2. Lost In Translation
I finally saw this film and i really dug it. It's very strange how it moves along, never really explicitly telling you anything, very subtle and graceful. Plus the music worked ery well with most of the scenes. i SO loved the inclusion of My Bloody Valentine and new Kevin Shields tracks, though i think my hat's gotta be tipped to the new Air track, "Alone in Kyoto" -- so eerie and gorgeous, it makes me feel like i'm underwater, just...floating.
Oh! And Scarlett Johannsson, i love her. There's something about her that's very sexy, yet mysterious....thumbs/thumps up Sofia Coppola. You done good.

3. Adam Green "Jessica"
Oh my god, i recently discovered this gem, a lilting tune doing some serious hating on Jessica Simpson. which, i'm happy about, especially since it's sung totally straight by Adam Green, also a member of The Moldy Peaches.
"Jessica Simpson, where has your love gone? It's not in your music, no....Jessica Simpson, you've got it all wrong. Your fraudulent smile, the way that you faked it the day that you died...your lovelife precedes you, your son-in-law feeds you injections of cortisone."
Jessica Simpson must be stopped. Along with her lacky husband Nick Lachey.

4. The Glenn Campbell mug shot
Ain't he pretty?
Like a rhinestone cowboy, he is. but by the time he gets tha fuck outta phoenix, he'll be crying bout giving a knee to a cop more so than any minor fender bender he was runnin' from.

5. Thanksgiving
I'm not necessarily down with how the pilgrims fucked over the indians, but to me, thanksgiving is just a cool day to prepare a shitload of food (There's nothing quite like the grinding noise of an ice cream maker kicking into high gear at 9 a.m. in the morning), get together with a whole bunch of people you dig on (family, friends, mr. potato head), and scarf down as much food as you possibly can.
and then, when you think you're stomach is about to explode like the android in the first "Alien," you realize that, YES, you can shove another giant stack of turkey slices in your mouth. i love turkey. bring on the gobblers.
plus i love how the world kinda just shuts down. sort of, anyway.

and now...
-1. the christmas onslaught.
bah humbug...bob cratchit didn't know shit.

and to all a good fright,


Sunday, November 30, 2003

All Monkeys want to vote for Matt

you know, i don't live in the city of san francisco but damn i wish i could find a way to vote for Matt Gonzalez.

he's been a party maniac getting the word out to all the people in the arts community that's for damn sure.
and he seems a hell of a lot more sincere than Gavin Nuisance, turdball extraordinaire.

smiling freak that he is.

though my girl says ol' matt needs a haircut.

i'll agree with you there, ms. b.

so it's december now.
how the fuck did it become december 2003?

i'm officially becoming older.
in fact, i'm older now than i was when i just wrote that sentence.
isn't time wonderful?

i always wanted to stop time with my stop watch or something similar.
apparently i wasn't the only kid that was obsessed with stopping time.
i recall reading some lame book about 10-12 years ago about stopping time but it devolved into this weird sex story. and not in hot and good steamy way.
more like boring as fuck, i want to throw this fucking book out the window right about now kind of way.

but i still feel good. i went out friday night to the Kompakt night at Club Six in SF. fucking amazing music!

fook yeah!

grandma chicken would have been proud.
no but really. impressive show yeah yeah yeah. great music. michael mayer is a fine fellow.

i was jumping around like a bloomin' fewl i tell you.

but the sunrise set is done, so that's all that matters.
screw ewe too.

I'm not always a fan of the SF Chronicle, but being a newspaper whore like i am, i still read the damn thing. god knows i don't pick up the oakland tribune, like ever.
anyway, they're doing a weeklong series on the homeless and i must say, it's pretty good. so i'm giving it some props, is what i'm saying.

<<Important note about health care

i wrote 8002 words (not counting this part) in november.

and even more importantly, November marks two damn years since i started this blog. no shit. two years.
there's been some ups, some downs, and some bullshit frowns, but i've bucked the web trend of lasting longer than a few months. i stand firm at the brink of something important and longlasting.

namely, everlasting life. see, if you believe in me, you'll have everlasting life.
in 2000 years, everybody will believe this.
trust me, these are the real gospels for the generations of the future.

will they be on earth?
i doubt it.

maybe africa.

or pluto.
ok, pudgy chuck is dead.

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Uh oh, iPod owners

Now this is a great album cover.
yo what up.
living large, living lime, living live, living lome.

damn if it don't feel like friday today.
except i've got unanswerable things like the fact that my computer is telling me it's fucking wednesday.
gezuz h. christ on a popsicle stick.
at least you're not alive right now.

remember when?

goddamn, i just realized i forgot to put the fab five friday up on heah this past week. i must be fucking stupid.
just really fucking stupid, don't you think?

maybe i should unsubscribe from the 313 list, no?
well, at least i'm not satan.

or am i?

there are so many things to talk about.

where do we begin?

where does it all end?

have you heard about this exciting thing called the Vocaloid?
it's fucked up.
but kinda interesting too, no?

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

this just in..

if we weren't alive right now, we'd be in real trouble.

on the other hand, we'd be dead.
or pre-born.

now we're post-born.

free me up, yo.

i'm young, white and dangerous.
can you tell?
people often think i'm a G.

most definitely.

break 'em off some.
break 'em off.

at least i'm not chicken boti.
pakwan rules.

even if they're a bit agitated.

castor oil rocks.

bullet in the head.
that is.

look at me before you go downtown.
and then you'll realize the error of your ways.

don't threaten me.

bijou philips is out.

Monday, November 17, 2003

new albums i'm listening to today:

The Beatles "Let it Be...Naked" - i like it better, more cohesive, the album as a whole works now and it never did before. good sound quality, you feel closer to the music, definitely more raw. the only version i didn't like as much was "get back" because it seems like it cuts off rather abruptly and too soon.

pearl jam "lost dogs" (epic) - eh, whatever. i used to buy their bootlegs when they first came out in i knew most of the songs i'd even want to hear from that era. i stopped buying pearl jam records after "vitalogy."

joss stone "the soul sessions" - very young white girl from england plays with old bluesmen, another one of those "i can't believe this girl is white" albums (see amy winehouse).� interestingly enough, she does the most unlikely covers, like white stripes' "fell in love with a boy" (gender changed), works with questlove from the roots, john sebastian's "i had a dream," aretha franklin's "all the king's horses." "For the love of you" by the Isley brothers, "some kind of wonderful by john ellison, working with betty wright.
hmmm, you know what, this sucks. fuck joss stone.

wow, a TON of big new releases for christmas have arrived.
besides above, new tori amos best of, new kid rock, britney spears, blink-182, red hot chili peppers greatest hits, jimi hendrix's "Live At Berkeley, new Flaming Lips EP sounds good, Bruce Springsteen Greatest Hits, Cyndi Lauper's new one, G-Unit's new one.
all pretty much shit, no?

"Show me your soul" P. Diddy w/ Pharrell Williams, Loon & Lenny Kravitz. - hmm. a bunch of rich guys getting together sort of trying to rock out. yeah. fuck you.

Important Random thought
i have an unwritten personal rule that i can't wear the same outfit within the last ..mmm, i'd say at least two weeks, but more like 3-4. i have enough clothes..i should say, i have enough shirts and corresponding jackets to change it up. i definitely need more pants, though.
don't you agree?
we all need somebody to have pants on.

re: the chili peppers: this is basically a best of of only the WB years, nothing from the hillel slovak era at all. amazing how many hits they've had. they hold up pretty well, actually. no they don't. the chili peppers are kind of stupid.
however, i still hold "blood sugar sex magik" (especially cool because of the spelling, right?) or whatever it's called, as being memorable, mainly because it represents a specific time in my life, my last year in college at michigan state university 199?.
two new tracks, "fortune faded" and "save the population." opens with lyrics "history so strong." wow, these tracks seem quite half-assed. bad. flat production. jesus, this is WEAK. both of them just suck.

new britney - track 4 "breathe on me" seems destined for the clubs, kind of reminds me of kylie minogue.

having two lattes today makes me feel like i'm on drugs or something.

did you know apple cider is for idiots? that's what ken nordine says.

my bathtub hurts me.

Sunday, November 16, 2003

Send a very special email before you kick off

This is weird

Song currently playing: "Fire Within" by Magic Sound Fabric, from Uplift Drift

i also watched the film 28 Days Later --- pretty good premise, pretty good film for the most part, degenerates badly in the last third, i thought.

but still, a good film and a REALLY good idea. i had so many more questions after seeing it, that's for sure. that needed to be made into a book.
or maybe it's from a book, hey?



Saturday, November 15, 2003

FFFriday #6

Fab Five Friday (How Now Brown Cow Edition)

1. The Rapture & Out-Hud at the Great American, 11.13
Dance party USA, even if they sometimes sound like Gang of Four with techno beats. They are still solid live. Plus I loved the loner sax player, who looked like he was having the time of his life doing nifty dance steps with just his instrument. Plus you know your band is onto something when the girls are grasping onto your lead singer's pant legs by show's end.
As for Out-Hud, i really dig their eclectic sound, a clever mix of electronic with organic instrumentation... even if that over-dancing keyboard guy Nic was talking shit about non-dancing SF crowds. "at least in sacramento we dance." yeah, yeah, what a great joke. never heard that one before. ha.
i especially dug the smallish girl who plays a strange-looking cello (it had no body), sings and also plays guitar on a few songs. damn. she's like, talented and stuff.

2. Playing the Hives' "Die, All Right!" really fucking loud three times in a row because I'm all alone in the warehouse space right now and i can.

3. Yarbrough & Peoples - good name.

4. Television Marquee Moon (Remastered reissue) - Somehow, I managed to not listen to them for many years. But now that i have, it's clear how influential they were. The new version sounds better than ever, the packaging is great, and features several alternate takes. They were so ahead of their time. It's crazy this came out in '77.

5. Five newish albums with potential:
a. Eltro Past & Present Futurists (absolutely kosher) - the Notwist meets To rococo Rot (i.e. IDM indie pop) with evocative female vocals.
b. Her Space Holiday Young Machines (mush) - sort of in The Postal Service vein, wry lyrics with electronic beats. but more morose.
c. My Favorite Happiest Days Of Our Lives (Remixes) - '80s-juiced Roxy Music-esqe sweeping pop. I like many of the remixes better than the originals.
d. Viva Voce Lovers Lead The Way! (asthmatic kitty) - sometimes it seems like my iTunes has a mind of its own. it's been playing the shit out of this album lately. but damn if this isn't some breezy, yet delightfully brooding, murky psych pop.
e. Finishing School Destination Girl (telegraph) - This is the solo album from Sasha Bell, the vocalist from The Ladybug Transistor. It's not that far removed from early 10,000 Maniacs style with baroque strings, melancholy vocals and feathery beats.

-1. Noticing two entries contain exclamation points. Are exclamation points becoming played out?


Friday, November 07, 2003


Fab Five Friday #5
+"No Pressure/Back On Schedule�

1. Clear Horizon "Clear Horizon" (Kranky, out 11.18) - Damn, I love white noise. i just love to be ensconced in crackly sounds that lull me into a trance-like state. The press release says �Clear Horizon is the culmination of two years of tape-trading across the Atlantic between Jessica Bailiff and David Pierce.� I say, think of a stripped-down My Bloody Valentine, with serious white noise guitar tonal immersion offset by ghostly vocals and threaded acoustic strings. Kinda like being underwater when you're obviously not...or are you?

2. Sugarplum Fairies (starfish) �Introspective Raincoat Student Music� � an apt title for an album that manages to be both fresh and familiar at the same time. I love Silvia Rider�s whispery yet biting vocals and imaginative lyrics, plus the dreamy slide guitar-playing and odd arrangements. Some of the best tracks on the album are available for free download via amazon (I�m sure you can find it).

3. Clem Snide "A Beautiful EP" (spinart) - they do a cover of Christina Aguilera's "beautiful,� which manages to be both snide and sincere at the same time. Another track, "Mike Kalinsky" is about a kid who has asthma, always misses school but still does better on tests than everyone else. Nearly every song on here makes me giggle. And it�s hard to be both consistently funny and still write good songs.

4. Mando Diao "Bring 'em In" (Mute) � Garage rock from Sweden that�s really solid. I especially like the production, stripped down and all fuzzy. It�s got a very go-go '60s vibe but still manages to rock out at the same time.

5. Surprises!
- The State of California sent me my tax return the other day. Now I can buy that babushka I�ve always wanted.
- Sleep. Me, the notorious non-sleeper (it takes up too much of my time) has been hitting the sack by 10 p.m. almost every night this week and getting up by 7 a.m. It may have something to do with my super-hectic October, in which I averaged about 2 hours a night.
- The cold/drizzly/cloudy weather. Now it truly feels like autumn. I just love the crispy element of the air this time of year. And the best part is, no worries about snow!

-1. The Tropic of Capricorn. It sucks. The Tropic Of Cancer is so much better.

(BONUS - WEB EXCLUSIVE)-2. Shaving my pubic hair. OK, I�ve officially learned my lesson. No more �What if I did this?� thoughts in the shower. Now I know why women get theirs waxed or use Nair. That shit itches something fierce.

one love, one love, accept most
  • My Name is PRINCE...and I'm here to talk to you about Jehovah...

  • Jessica Lynch Criticizes U.S. Accounts of Her Ordeal

    Published: November 7, 2003

    rather than reiterate what is being said here, i felt it important to add this story directly how it runs in today's NY Times, which says that Jessica Lynch believes the Pentagon used her story for jingoistic fervor. TP

    --In her first public statements since her rescue in Iraq, Jessica Lynch criticized the military for exaggerating accounts of her rescue and re-casting her ordeal as a patriotic fable.

    Asked by the ABC News anchor Diane Sawyer if the military's portrayal of the rescue bothered her, Ms. Lynch said: "Yeah, it does. It does that they used me as a way to symbolize all this stuff. Yeah, it's wrong," according to a partial transcript of the interview to be broadcast on Tuesday.

    After months of retreating from the news media, Ms. Lynch will be a ubiquitous presence next week. In addition to her appearance on ABC, she will be on the cover of Time magazine, and NBC will broadcast a movie based on an Iraqi's account of her ordeal. On Tuesday, the book publisher Knopf will release an account of her experience, "I Am a Soldier, Too," written with her cooperation by a former reporter for The New York Times, Rick Bragg.

    The book and the movie are unrelated and tell different versions of Ms. Lynch's story, but the publisher has timed the book to capitalize on publicity from the television movie.

    The book has already added another, lurid indignity to the public accounts of her capture. It reports that Ms. Lynch's military doctors found injuries consistent with sexual assault and unlikely to have resulted from the Humvee crash that caused her other wounds, suggesting that she was raped after her capture. Ms. Lynch, who was unconscious immediately after the crash, does not remember any such assault, according to people who have talked to her and read the book. Those details of the book's contents were reported yesterday in The New York Daily News.

    In the book and in the interviews, Ms. Lynch says others' accounts of her heroism often left her feeling hurt and ashamed because of what she says was overstatement.

    At first, a military spokesman in Iraq told journalists that American soldiers had exchanged fire with Iraqis during the rescue, without adding that resistance was minimal. Then the military released a dramatic, green-tinted, night-vision video of the mission. Soon news organizations were repeating reports, attributed to anonymous American officials, that Ms. Lynch had heroically resisted her capture, emptying her weapon at her attackers.

    But subsequent investigations determined that Ms. Lynch was injured by the crash of her vehicle, her weapon jammed before she could fire, the Iraqi doctors treated her kindly, and the hospital was already in friendly hands when her rescuers arrived.

    Asked how she felt about the reports of her heroism, Ms. Lynch told Ms. Sawyer, "It hurt in a way that people would make up stories that they had no truth about. Only I would have been able to know that, because the other four people on my vehicle aren't here to tell the story. So I would have been the only one able to say, yeah, I went down shooting. But I didn't."

    And asked about reports that the military exaggerated the danger of the rescue mission, Ms. Lynch said, "Yeah, I don't think it happened quite like that," although she added that in that context anybody would have approached the hospital well-armed. She continued: "I don't know why they filmed it, or why they say the things they, you know, all I know was that I was in that hospital hurting. I needed help."

    Lt. Col. Rivers Johnson, a spokesman for the Department of Defense, declined to comment on Ms. Lynch's views. But he said, "Essentially, the mission to rescue Jessica Lynch demonstrated America's resolve to account for all of its missing service members." He added that the rescue had been conducted under the appropriate procedures for a fluid situation like the war in Iraq. "You always plan for the worst."

    Ms. Lynch also disputed statements by Mohammed Odeh al-Rehaief, the Iraqi lawyer, that he saw her captors slap her.

    "From the time I woke up in that hospital, no one beat me, no one slapped me, no one, nothing," Ms. Lynch told Diane Sawyer, adding, "I'm so thankful for those people, because that's why I'm alive today."

    Jeff Coplon, who helped Mr. Rehaief write his book, "Because Each Life is Precious," said it was possible that both he and Ms. Lynch were telling the truth in their divergent accounts.

    "One of the questions that could arise in the wake of this kind of trauma is that someone could believe they remember everything and their memory could still be incomplete," Mr. Coplon said.
    Who will win?

    it's become increasingly difficult to tell who will win the democratic presidential nomination.
    my top contenders at the moment would be:

    Wesley Clark
    Howard Dean
    Bob Kerry

    Edwards? whatever.
    Sharpton? yeah, he sure is funny. ha.
    Lieberman? gross. fuck this so-called "democrat" a censorship-happy fool who will likely appeal to older voters, which sucks since they vote the most consistently.

    let's see, who else is there.
    Braun? yeah right. whatever.
    Gephardt? could there be anyone who comes off more wimpy? maybe lieberman, but that's about it.

    shit, that's eight. off the top of my head, that's not too bad but i can't recall who the ninth is.

    ah yes, dennis kucinich, who is by far the most extreme, despite being from ohio. which is funny. he was the youngest mayor of cleveland ever. i think he was like 31 when he was elected. which is quite amazing, i must say.

    anyway...i dig kucinich's beliefs but he has no chance. plus a bad name.

    kerry - i guess i don't understand why people dislike him, since he's a war vet, is very smart and has a longtime political career. maybe that's part of his problem, the longtime politician shit. or maybe it's because he reminds many people of frankenstein or at least, herman munster aka fred gwynne (whom i loved so much in "pet semetary"). regardless, kerry is a longshot at best.

    if the old guard dem establishment gets leiberman the ticket, we're doomed for sure. that's such a bad ticket. plus the whole jewish thing won't play well, i don't think. obviously i have nothing against the jewish people but we're talking election time here folks.

    anyway...clark. though one article i read about him in newsweek gave me pause...since then i've read an interview with him in rolling stone, listened to an interview he did on NPR and read soemthing else about him online, though i can't recall the source.
    he seems pretty level-headed, has a lifetime of military experience and can think on his feet. it's unfortunate he joined the campaign so late but i still think he's a viable candidate...or in other words, one of the better chances of beating bush, because obviously dubya can't compete on the military thing, having skipped out on his fucking time in the national guard, for christ's sake.
    yet, military people love him. it's amazing to me. he was more of a draft dodger than clinton ever was, yet somehow he's our military president. boggles my mind but people are fucking idiots after all.

    there's something about Clark that i like, his discipline, his confidence, his belief (seemingly) to speak what he thinks.
    of course, howard dean does that as well but there's something about him that seems a little too brash...then again, we need brashness to defeat the unbelievably brash and lying GOP, so that could work. and fuck, dean has raised a LOT of money, more so than i would have thought. now he's thinking about dropping out of the election public funds so he's not subject to limiting rules made by campaign finance laws. don't get me wrong, the campaign finance game is sooo fucked up right now, but that's not dean's fault. and when the bushies consistently flout the laws when it comes to raising money (gee, doesn't this story sound familiar? yet it seems sooooo different when the GOP does it compared to when clinton did it, huh? oh that's right, that's because republicans don't have to actually follow the law - they just do what they want).
    so i say to dean, fucking drop out. basically the finance laws limit the amount of money you can spend at like $47 million, i believe, which are matched by taxpayer funds. so dean is saying "fuck that, we're going to need more to defeat bush" who long ago dropped out of the finance limit because he had no intention of only spending that piddily amount of money.

    never mind the fact that money is what it takes to win the presidency these days. we all know that.

    some people are criticizing dean already, because he stated early on in his campaign that he was going to limit himself to those finance law funds. but clearly he, nor anyone else, could have forseen how much money he's actually raised.
    beat the fucking bush's, at all costs. we need to.

    but getting back to my point, i just think that the GOP will destroy Dean if he gets the nomination. then again, i could be wrong and hope i am.
    i am just so afraid of a wimpy lieberman or gephardt nomination. that would soooo be the wrong call.
    if it was such the right call then we wouldn't even be discussing this, since Gore would have been president.

    now of course i am a firm believer that gore was hoodwinked out of the presidency for sure. and the media helped play a role, by prematurely declaring bush as the winner before it was completely determined to be true.
    that exit polling bullshit is such a joke, btw, but whatever.

    but part of the problem may have been that bush came off as a guy's guy, the kind of dude you could hang out with on a weekend to get fucked up, snort a few lines, smoke some kind bud and get in the car and hop on down to the next bar. ok, maybe ol' bush didn't smoke that much kind bud, but that's the least harmful of the three things i mentioned, so big fucking deal.
    anyway....bush came off as the affable partyboy pal, the guy with the gregarious personality who acted stupid even though he wasn't actually stupid.
    i certainly don't think bush is stupid, more evil than stupid, and with a clearcut neoconservative agenda, despite the fact that he labeled himself as a "compassionate conservative" while campaigning.
    it's amazing to me how quickly people have forgotten what bush supposedly stood for compared to what he actually does stand for.
    people are sheep though, big surprise, so no point in even arguing about that.

    what all this means is that we need somebody that can take on bush tit for tat, that can roll with the punches (and there will be many many punches - get ready for fox news to go on the offensive the minute the nomination is secured by one of these fuckers) and stand firm in their convictions.

    and while i praise dean for bringing some much-needed bristling commentary to the forum, i hesitate a bit because he may just end up alienating too many people and thereby once again handing the presidency to the GOP by default.
    just sucks so much.

    i mean, astoundingly, every week comes a new revelation from this government that literally makes me turn cold with fear. that bill just signed into law by Bush, the one that bans partial birth abortions. well, that bill leaves no room for extenuating circumstances, say if the woman is raped or is in clear life-threatening danger.
    within hours after the bill was signed into law, a federal judge declared that the law was likely unconstitutional and needed to be decided by the courts before going into effect.
    within another day, two more courts had ruled the same way, thereby covering most of the states in the union.

    yet, i read a story this morning that says the department of justice (lead by that fucking foolish bible-toting lunatic john asscroft) would enforce this law anyway...even though the law has already been struck down by THREE federal judges. apparently, normal laws don't apply to the dept. of justice, the very same people that are supposed to fucking uphold the law of the land, no matter what!
    there isn't supposed to be any "interpretation" of the law by Justice. that's for the courts to decide, hello!

    makes me so angry. jesus. now we can routinely flout whatever laws we deem to be wrong.
    so if i'm elected AG (it could happen) and wanted to openly smoke marijuana because i thought the law was wrong, i could. let out all the convicted nonviolent drug offenders because i believe the law is "morally wrong under god's eyes." yeah, ok. right. would never happen.
    yet somehow republicans seem to disavow that when it comes to shit THEY believe to be God-inspired.

    does anybody recall the separation of church and state? that was like part of the fucking point of separating from england in the first place. does anybody seem to recall that? no, apparently not.

    this is the first in a long series of rants that are itching to emerge from my brain.

    all i can say is.....Democrats. get your shit together. a recent poll just came out that a majority of americans, for the first time in like forever, are unhappy with the iraq thing and unhappy with bush. it's not a very big margin but it proves that people are fucking fed up with this idiot.
    but the only way to get rid of this idiot is to come back hard and strong to defeat the infidels aka bushies & GOP cohorts.

    and if you think people like gephardt and lieberman are going to do it, you'd be wrong.

    GO Dean! (though i'm still not sure what to think of the whole confederate flag flap, i still dig what he has to say and love the fact he's stirring up the pie)

    GO Clark! (though you need to come up with a more concrete platform and get out there more, you're losing people because you haven't really done anything to distinguish yourself...but i think you've got a good shot)

    Go Kerry! (because i really do think he has a lot to say and could be an effective leader but his window of opportunity is beginning to look like it's closing)

    and everyone else...drop the fuck out of the race so we can have some real debates. sniping about each other only serves to confuse and fragment your potential voters.
    this means you lieberman, you stupid schlub. give up censor boy!

    and now, i must move forward.
    fuck you and your haikus.
    and those are the facts, jack.

    Thursday, November 06, 2003

    red rover, red rover, let bushie come over.

    not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.

    so i'll huff and i'll puff and i'll blow your house down!

    shiver me timbers, we got ourselves an avalanche?


    blow me down!

    upchuck your numbchucks!

    make sure you're alive for arbor day!

    and so it goes
    another inconsequentional thing you are still somewhat curious about

    patterns are evil

    Wednesday, November 05, 2003

    Artie Shaw has nothing to do with this

    i just remembered what word i really liked the other day.


    not only is it fun to say but it's a cool word and looks awesome too.

    i do not want guacamole.

    the bottom of my left foot hurts.

    it's kind of chilly right now.

    hace frios!

    that is a spanish phrase i recently learned.

    i'm drinking a vodka tonic right now but i'm not sure i'm liking it.

    i drink it anyway.

    we return to transylvania.

    patsy cline sure must have gotten stomped on in relationships. that's what like all of her songs are about. damn, patsy, who were these fucks you were letting fuck you? cuz that's what it always comes down to, which guys you let fuck you.

    not that i'm a woman of course.

    my kitty, the kitty, loves pot. and since i'm smoking some right now, she is moving closer to me. while patsy is playing.
    it's 5:27 p.m.

    pacific time of course.

    there are cheap flights to london on sale right now and you've got to go before march 2004.
    i am thinking of just fucking purchasing one and going in like february. cuz march, i'll be going to miami. through british airways, though lufthansa has deals right now too.

    hmmm, maybe i'll take a look.

    i fucking hate kings of leon so much.
    they suck ass.

    scowling southern rock.

    i received $242 from the state of california.
    that is fine.


    my butt is unhappy today. somebody needs a colonic.

    i bought a book today. i'm so trendy.
    "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them" by Al Franken.

    i'm excited to read it. hardcover even. buttcake.

    the tropic of cancer is so much better than the tropic of capricorn.
    fuck the tropic of capricorn.

    at least you're alive.

    and now, a private transcript between a friend that i'm releasing to all you eager beaver muffins!!

    hey! how are you....

    My swingset is ass-cool

    dead, six feet under
    they buried me today.
    fucking rigor mortis sucks


    oh well, can't win 'em all

    I'll find out you really did die hours ago and i'll have a modern ghost story on my hands

    tim pratt radio rules so much. the theme from "alice" just came on

    To a goalie...its a save, save save

    i purchased a book today. i'm so trendy

    books are a fad
    I just listen to idiots

    i'm so san francisco. take a guess what i purchased...yeah, books are a fad

    ooooh...a reader....youre soooo cool.

    soon to be replaced by ionosphere holograms
    the ionosphere is a lot better than the stratosphere

    It saves our ass

    fuck the tropic of capricorn too


    tropic of cancer rules

    Trop. O cancer is solid

    which book did i buy

    5:35 PM - Its my tropic

    hadassah head

    and i'll cry if i want to

    I milked her

    i wish leiberman would go away. he's ruining everything
    fucking give up you stupid chump

    I love your hate for Leiberman

    he's a schlub

    Brooks and Dunn are on....Those guys are awesome. im watching the CMAs.

    that's unfortunate

    still no tv

    its fun. They are all retarded

    i think this is the longest i've gone in my entire life without a tv

    im as addicted to it as any drug fiend

    i miss it the most just for news, but i read so much

    i should limit my usage. i went a summer w/out

    my tv died in early july

    i missed some stuff, but was pretty happy w/out it.

    so 4 months

    april to september for me

    listened to talk radio late night
    that's perversely fun too

    5:40 PM - so tickets from san francisco direct to london heathrow, if you purchase by tomorrow, are seriously $200 roundtrip. with taxes and shit, it's like $265 but fuck. i just have to go before march 2004. i think i may just fucking get it and pick an arbitrary date in february
    and make myself go
    with no agenda. best way i work
    direct flight, btw
    i'm feeling the call

    London. Calling

    tis true. in fact, i think me just stating it like that decided it for me. sweet. a classic tim pratt move.

    I need to travel too....its important

    i made this decision in the last hour....more than ever.
    so if i buy the ticket, it will force me to immediately get my passport, which i need to do. and i have a flex schedule and i'm sure i can find someone to stay with or do the hostel thing

    I love the idea of England

    going over all my music of late, partly because of the dj thing, i realized the staggering amount of music i've liked in mylife and britain is by far and away on top.


    i mean, i just feel like i can't not go. and i'm sure i can potentially hook up some dj gigs and writing things too flight from SF? That's insane

    yeah, and now BART goes to SFO. tina and i did it when we went to grand rapids. i still prefer oakland because it's clsoer...but to europe, you have to go SFO

    when are you gonna buy your ticket?

    i have to buy it by tomorrow

    i'm thinking have to go on M-T-W only
    5:45 PM - feb will be enough time to get my shit together
    and march i'm going back to miami
    i just feels right

    winter...booked for TimmmiP

    the book i bought was the al franken book

    London would be awesome. You of all people should see london and break your continental cherry

    yeah, i know
    and i know i can do it on the cheap
    fuck, if i could get some dj
    i know of people to call and at least try

    that's kind of illegal eh?


    if they pay you. Right?

    shit. I don't know
    how so? not like they'd be paying me with a check anyway

    yeah. forget I said it.....
    i get bogged down in details

    today i was paid $75 to go to an office downtown, follow a specific script, and cancel my capital one credit card
    i'm not joking

    i'm hooked

    what you mean?

    tell me about that

    ha ha.
    sometimes i feel like jerry when kramer called him "even steven." i always end up breaking even because..
    as you know my hours got cut by aol as of cotober 1, but because of a variety of reasons, i've made up for the loss of cash
    the vegas dj gig paid $$$, not covering an entire week's pay
    i'm getting to the thing today....


    then the extra days allowed me to go to grand rapids and do the family trip and all
    and then the guy that was supposed to split the hours with me got hired by google.
    and so last week i worked 40 hours by default.
    then! this week, i'm back down the drudgery of the 20-hour work week...and lo and behold, yesterday
    i get an email from this dude who i responded to via a craigslist ad (that site rules btw) about some focus group type thing and to respond if you have capital one credit cards or another kind i can't recall.
    but this was like a few weeks ago and i forgot about it, because you only hear back on those things maybe 20 percent of the time, because of the high volume of response
    so i go into this office this afternoon, BECAUSE i only worked half a day, and have to call capital one and say i'm canceling and see how low they'll go on my rate.

    for this company doing research on how low credit card companies will go on their APRs
    and it depends if you go in saying you want to "cancel" versus you seek a "APR rate change." the dude told me they always give bigger rate discounts on people who go in saying they want to cancel.
    so i had to follow a specific script, though i was able to embellish some, and refuse three different attempts by them to win me back

    that's fascinating...actually

    it was more fun than i would have imagined. and the dude told me that you should call your credit card companies every six months to try and get a lower rate

    it's like an acting job

    and always go in saying you're going to cancel because other companies are giving lower rates

    i bet you felt empowered by the idea it was kind of a put on

    i had to ask about balance transfers and shit like that too. yeah, acting..but part of the deal to get the money is you HAVE to cancel your card, so i cancelled my card....
    but i didn't mind because i rarely use that card
    pretty fucking funny.

    do you wonder where i am now?

    Monday, November 03, 2003

    Fab Five ___Day (because it's not actually "friday," i didn't want to assume and attempt to put "friday" in said space, hence the absence of the actually letters denoting specific day of the week. now do go about your business and please don't be rude).

    Yep,�the FFF is�back on again (even if it is Monday today, it's Friday somewhere in the universe, right?).

    So what the fuck has tim been doing and why has he neglected something he was just starting?
    During the last few weeks, I traveled to both Las Vegas and Grand Rapids for DJ gigs, family action and general happy funtime; celebrated my birthday on Oct. 18; and began prep work for a book i'm working on. I no lie. I apple-gize for being away, lost in my own confusion.

    So to bring you up to speed, here's a quick version of Fab Five ___Day, #3-#4.


    1. The Shins "Chutes Too Narrow" - Shiny happy, hook-laden indie pop at its finest. Seriously addictive record. You must get it or weep.

    2. Favorite Recent Quote: "Are you going to be playing '80s music?" while playing Run DMC's "It's Like That" at the Paris Hotel in Vegas.
    "Uh, this is '80s music," i replied.
    "Oh," she replied, puzzled. "Not rap, but, you know, '80s music."

    3. "Money Success Fame Glamour" - Felix Da Housecat vs. Pop Tarts from "Party Monster" soundtrack. So gleefully glitzy and�over the top, i just can't stop listening to this track. Plus it's got Macaulay Culkin (as Michael Alig) & Chloe Sevigny yelling the chorus over and over.

    4. Psychonauts "Song For Creatures" (International Deejay Gigolo) - is it rock-infused electronic music or is it rock fused with electronic? Maybe both.�Either way, i dig this record's meandering, melancholy path it takes. This is one album you want to keep listening to see what they do next.

    5. Dia de los Muertos celebration in Oakland - A day to celebrate and respect the dead - a centuries old tradition in many Latino cultures.
    What a concept. Instead of living in denial about death, Latin cultures confront it and give it up for peeps no longer hanging out on earth. Of course, in many parts of the country, this would likely be construed as some sort of Satanic ritual.

    6. Broadcast "HaHa Sound" (Warp)This an awesome record, sort of reminding me of Stereolab but more IDMish and with some Holly Golightly-style retro yet new garage vibes. Quiet, angular audio shards, soothing female vocals and stark acoustic guitars provide the basis for much of of it.

    7. Snow Patrol "Final Straw" (Polydor) - Off kilter electro acoustic rock from the UK. Strangely hypnotic and sort of unfolds slowly, as if you're listening to the record in slow motion.

    8. Amy Winehouse "Frank" - Combining the warped jazzy vibe of Billie Holiday, the sassy hip-hoppiness�of Erykah Badu and the deep funk�and soul of Aretha Franklin, Winehouse's debut sparkles from start to finish. You won't believe this voice comes from a white British girl. I expect her to blow up in 2004.

    9. Nick Drake "Five Leaves Left" (Island) - It's crazy to realize this album came out in 1970. Spooky, stark, eloquent and intense, Nick Drake was SO ahead of his time, especially on tracks like "Time Has Told Me," "River Man" and "Three Hours" - all of which give me the chills.

    10. The Simpsons Halloween Special - Still the funniest, most consistently subversive show on television. Matt groening rocks.

    - 1. The Christmas onslaught - already. I've spotted some Christmas decorations here and there, as well as heard some holiday music.
    Alright! Let's be pressured to spend money on ludicrous gifts to get the economy moving!
    Maybe Santa Claus is being paid off by the GOP. I'm sure ol' Saint Nick appreciated those tax breaks.

    - 2. Jessica Simpson - She's not sexy, has no brain and can't sing. Plus she stinks. Kick her off the planet.

    -3. Kobe Bryant - I'm so tired of celebrity sports figures getting away with murder or, in this case, "alleged" rape. Kobe makes me sick.

    -4. The GOP - For their continuously evil, fascist ways.
    Destroy America. Vote Republican.

    -5. The new Iggy Pop album "Skull Ring." I realize he's like the king of punk rock thanks to his affiliation with the Stooges but this is just bad revisionist bullshit that nobody needs to hear. Plus Iggy just looks so gross. The picture of him sticking his tongue out in the new album almost made me vomit.

    Hace Frio! (i'm cold)
    Hace Calour! (i'm hot)
    ay dios mios! (oh my god!)

    well, here's some more interesting things that i've come across of late. read them and poon.

    bob guiney aka "the bachelor" "girlfriend" - yeah, the same dolt who's one that bad show i've never seen.
    i would never buy this song in a million years but it's better than say, clay aiken. sounds more like singer-songwriter matchbox 20 type pop-rock. better than american idol pop, but not much.

    things i liked as a kid: books, reading, shoplifting, music, pop culture, news, movies, elbows

    cds: johs wink "profound sounds v.2" (ovum)
    rem - best of rem
    rob zombie - past, present, future
    soft cell - live
    luke vibert - yoseph
    moodymann - silence in the secret garden
    martina topley-bird
    cosmic rocker - mirrors and windows
    bon jovi - wanted dead or alive 2003
    vocab (good vibe)
    bluegrass tribute to metallica
    emiliana torrini - "rarities" - never heard of her before, not bad whispery vocals off beat rock, pretty good actually.
    grace jones "private life: the compass point sessions"

    some potential hardcore liberal bumperstickers for 2004

    exercise your 2nd amendment rights on a conservative.
    they'll thank you for it. they'll be with jesus even sooner than planned.

    Fuck the GOP
    GOP are evildoers
    Down with Dubya
    the GOP is ruining America.
    Republicans suck.
    Fuck Republicans.
    Exercise your 2nd amendment rights on a Republican today.
    America used to be beautiful, until the Republicans took over.
    Republicans are selfish thugs.

    hypocricy = GOP
    Money is the TRUE God of the GOP.

    Republicans are weak ass bitches.


    Saturday, November 01, 2003


    Cherrywine - November 15 at Elbo Room.
    And speaking of deluded cokeheads (which we were, you just weren't there to hear that part of the conversation --- but trust me, it was real like solid and stuff), Rapper Cherrywine, formerly known as "Butterfly" in Digable Planets plays in San Francisco. Maybe ol' Butterfly can explain why the promising hip-hop trio imploded and blew
    any chance at a long-term career. Better yet, listen to the godawful
    album he released earlier this year, which has a decent chance
    of being as bad as "Kish Kash." Too much cocaine, my friends, too much
    damn cocaine. Remember kids, cocaine and creativity do not mix.

    so i listened to the new iggy pop today....well, part of it.
    i don't care how much of an influence he is on punk, he fucking sucks.
    his songs are retarded. he can't sing at all.
    he's gross too. just what i want to see, his tiny pointy little tongue sticking out from his craggy, pockmarked face. please, do some more heroin.

    this reverential iggy revival of late reminds me of a few years
    ago, when the record companies created this supposed "buzz" that tony
    bennett, burt bacharach and tom jones are "hip again," yet i
    could never find ANYONE who actually thought that way, other than
    super duper ironic hipsters and even then, it seemed more like a joke than
    anything else, they didn't REALLY think tony, burt and tom were cool
    again.just like iggy.
    and i'd really like to know how "cool" it is to collaborate with
    Sum 41, green day and peaches�on your latest "comeback record."

    ok, i acknowledge the fact that the stooges influenced many a
    punk band but that was more than 35 years ago!
    ok, some people say he can rock. ok, whatever.
    he grosses me out.
    maybe it's a personal problem.

    or maybe it's your problem.


    here is the text from the missive i recently sent out to racist skinheads everywhere concerning the party that happened last evening.
    it was a fine party indeed, yes'm.
    and yes ma'am.

    Throw away your methadone, avoid the quagmire that is the Castro on Halloween night, slap on your most imaginative costume imaginable and get your sweet, fine asses down to LiPo Lounge for.....

    OPIUM DEN II - Chase The Dragon
    Friday, Oct. 31, 9 p.m. to 2 a.m.
    LiPo Lounge, 916 Grant Ave. SF
    DJs/Public Instigators: Jai Young Kim & Tim Pratt (because we care)
    Visual stimulants by: Chris Pew & Jamie Hunt (they care too)

    Only $5 cover, 21+
    soooo inexpensive, you'll have extra money in your wallet to spend on alcohol, "snacks" and other frivolous items.
    Costumes are required for entry (though we do take bribes and possibly Gideon bibles with pentagrams carved into the cover).

    Music: Many fine tunes of proper ass-shaking manner including: spooky Halloween audio trickery, glitzy synth-laden electro, ironic '80s epics, irresistible indie ilk and lots of sardonic sweeteners and tempting treats.

    Q: Are costumes REALLY required?
    A: Of course, foolish questioners. Especially since the cranky Chinese owners have been to daily showings of Tarantino's "Kill Bill" for the last three weeks. Those swords behind the counter aren't just for show. In other words, if you arrive un-costumed, you may qualify to be an adjunct member of the Phantom Limbs.

    to recap...
    Opium Den II - Chase The Dragon
    Friday, October 31, 9 p.m. to 2 a.m.
    The LiPo Lounge, 916 Grant Ave. SF
    $5 cover, 21+

    ummmmm...oh yeah..


    Wednesday, October 29, 2003

    cracklin' rosie

    i am so weird at work.
    as in, i'm a more reserved tim pratt.
    i mean, i'm still me, in the me sense.
    don't you love the me sense?
    i do.
    anyway (one of my favorite and helpful words for my wandering mind - because i'm the king of tangents, of attempting to constantly overcram all the shit i can in my skull each day)....and no, i'm not a fan of "anywhoo."
    with the extended "ooh" sound especially.
    that's bullshit man.
    bullshit i say.

    i so want to be super over the top in real life.
    like when i was walking down 16th today

    i am so in my self-created bubble, my tim pratt think tank, to ruminate on the the tim pratt everyone else sees. helps me keep my sanity to go into deep tim pratt-ville.
    keeps me sane yo.
    and god knows, the world needs me sane.
    because insane, well sir, there'd be trouble.
    but enough about twinkies.

    dolly madison was pretty damn cool.
    for a bonnet-wearing person.
    james madison was her kick-ass husband, whom i seem to remember was a pretty rocking president.

    i think george w. bush, our fake-ass chump for a fake president, has to be one of our worst.
    worst than william henry harrison.
    worst than gerald ford, who was never elected.

    i like zachary taylor purely because he has a cool name?

    remember the zero factor?
    you know, george bush could pull a makaveli (because i can't spell the old school way and i'm too damn lazy to look up the correct one) and have us vote for his pseudo-dead ass because we all feel bad, and then he turns out to be ok.

    like the day after the election, he emerges totally via the strength of knowing a solid 51% of the electorate are behind him (of course, rigged by those touch screens that are heavily funded by GOP monsters - but that's for another day, another struggle in this thing we call life man, fucking a.)

    caller go ahead.

    my girlfriend is a heroin pig.

    not MY girlfriend, as in, tim pratt's girlfriend.

    i've lapsed once again into creative laziness, biting quotes from bruce mccolluch's "heroin pig" track.
    he is so awesome.
    i totally did not appreciate kids in the hall while it was popular.
    it required me to be older, wiser and more a man of the world, a man of the people, for me to appreciate the fine nuanced (another fave word of late) world of kids in the hall.
    i should have said humor but fuck it. i go with spontaniety every time.

    except for sometimes.

    you know, in the last sentence, i almost typed "accept" (as in that great german band from the 80s, with that fine hit "balls to the wall" man! fronted by the dimunitive - another fave word from circa-80s circus and hit parader magazines, which i read religiously - puto) by accident.

    that would have sucked.
    i hate it when people use the wrong word, or at least, the wrong spelling.
    i abhor misspellings, unless it's me being lazy (i'm very good at that, despite the fact that i'm insanely busy all the fucking time..i wish i didn't have to sleep, though i do like to sleep - ah the limitations -- and lamentations for you bible listeners -- of being human).

    like earlier today, when i was hanging with my good pal that helps me out with specific needs that i have occasionally.
    she has this art piece up in her bathroom, where i was hanging out for awhile just because i like to hang out in the bathroom to really think about buttcakes, words like bilious and cheerios, which i still like as long as they have a light sprinkling of cane sugar, but only on the first bowl. she has this piece that references "capitolism"....but see, anybody that gets really fucking annoyed/pissed off/enraged/outraged/somewhat raged about misspellings or wrong usage in a sentence, would know that it should be spelled "capitalism."
    i mean come on, especially here in san francisco, where there are a lot of people who are against capitalism, especially socialists, marxists, nazis, neonazis, neocons, neo soul fans, and nepotism fans of freddie prinze jr..

    i interrupt my totally coherent thoughts to relay to you that currently, i'm hearing car tires squealing pretty regularly every 20 seconds or so for the last 3 minutes.
    quite odd.

    frank the black haired kitty is currently laying in my lap. he has a fine tail.
    i must say.
    some kitties don't have fine tails, only somewhat good tails but this kitty towers above other kitties, i must say.

    and i do say, obviously.

    i say obviously a lot, in my writing at least.
    don't you love how self-analytical i am?

    i'm like two people, one to watch and record what i do, and then the one that just does.
    i do.

    this kitty frank has been discriminated against because of the color of his fur.
    some people (like say, oh..our idiotic attorney general, one john asscroft - misspelling completely intentional for you non believers and christians of all creeds) really freak out about black cats.
    which is weird.
    i mean, witches like 'em. and fuck, witches are usually pretty cool, even if they have poor eating habits, bad hygiene, and a subpar wardrobe selection (i mean, come on...ditch those cheap-ass pointy hats already...go for something in plaid or mauve).

    one witch requirement is to have a mole of some sort on your face, particularly the nose and/or chin.
    for optimum evilness.

    see, cuz god is punishing witches because they're like evildoers and stuff, so they automatically become ugly once they start flying around on their brooms.

    fuck..i need a beverage.
    more in a few.

    Tuesday, October 28, 2003

    yo ho ho, we gots a party coming up at lipo lounge this friday night just in time for halloween. unfortunately, the link on the latest issue of flavorpill to my name is NOT ME.
    which really sucks. but what can you do?
    in the meantime, just know that THIS tim pratt lives and breathes for marshmallow soup.
    and gelatin sideburns.

    makes no sense, huh?
    neither does this blog.

    upward and downward

    Tuesday, October 21, 2003

    ruminating on various music for your kindness and consideration

    Flow Motion: Visual Pleasure, Vol. 2.0 (Elektrolux)

    it tows less closely to the floaty ambient soundscape stuff in favor of more crackly, fragment bits.

    Though the album is all material that's been previously released, it's doubtful even your most ardent experimental fan has heard everything on here.

    it's�eloquent, soothing, IDM-type, a bit more complex than meandering synth washes and soundscapes. feels fluid. Soehngenetic's "Wall King SL"

    mum "The ballad of the broken birdie records" - nice warm crackle of chopped up keyboards skipping down the audio lane, haunting child like vocals not unfamiliar in a haunted house (think boards of canada on speed).

    some tracks more compelling than others.

    aural float - sort of reggae/dub beat

    �hmm, lapses into some new age cheesiness from time to time though.

    and here's the review
    Combining the visual representation with experimental and ambient electronic music is a no-brainer, so it makes perfect sense that late night German TV shows such as "Flowmotion" and "Space Night," emphasizing tripped-out motion and fluidity over structure, have become popular with aging electronic music fans. Germany's Elektrolux label plays host to this impressive array of experimental artists (including Iceland's Mum, Aural Float, The Sushi Club and UNN) on Flowmotion: Visual Pleasure, Vol. 2.0, favoring more of the crackly, fragmented audio bits, soothing textures and somewhat perky beat arrangements than the floaty ambient soundscapes prevalent on the Space Night soundtracks. While not every track is a keeper, there are plenty of highlights by the likes of Index ID, Mum and Rescape to fend off the occasional lapse into new age cheese.

    electrelane - first single On Parade from album "the power one" (too pure) - pretty good, tight fisted rock for the nonmasses.
    ooh, a cover of springsteen's "i'm on fire." recorded by steve albini in chicago, so it's got that shellac quality to it.

    i am still digging on the flaming lips' "thank you jack white for that fiber optic jesus that you gave me." awesome. i was playing that the other day at my birthday shindig at Tilden Park and then my friend Stephan shows up with a fucking fiber optic jesus picture (the fact that i called my party a Fellowship may have something to do with the jesus-related items - i also got a Jesus Bacon illustration from my damn fine friend MollyGoLightly

    no no no. not the flaming lips you want to hear.

    this time it's "Duck Dodgers" main title song being sung by tom jones and performed by the flaming lips. wow sound quality is horrible. it's kitschy alright but eh..
    wow, the sound is just bad. but song sucks too. reminds me of vegas. pass

    i just saw eric shea on the street. and said hello. he said nothing in return but he did have a shit-eating grin on his face. probably baked.
    ah, yes.

    damn, i'm in a good mood. being confident really really helps. on days when i'm confident.

    last night i dreamt that i was friends with eninem and he was wearing those glasses of his. we were at his house but for some reason it was in the bay area, not michigan and his wife was a stupid bitch. that part must be reality.
    it's probably because i remember reading a story about some dolt who sued him because he namechecked some asshole bully when he was a kid who used to push him around. awesome that he did that, that enimem namechecked the bitch. god knows i had plenty of ass fucks make me an angry young boy, pushing me around and such. i'm glad the judge threw out the case, which included a fucking rap! awesome. i love america. sometimes.

    i don't recall much of the gist of the dream but we were hangiing out and talking, like we were old friends. ha.

    lisa marie presley sessions@aol - better than i would have imagined i guess. singer songwriter type not that far off from a sheryl crow (she's is like the quintessential female singer songwriter to compare too, probably because she's so goddamn ubiquitious - where isn't sheryl crow?. she was even at johnny cash's funeral. christ, and then we got her greatest hits today. ok, she has a few hits. "a change will do you good" is pretty catchy. but shut up).

    anyway, lisa marie. she's got an interesting vocal style. not bad, really. good genes, obviously. husky vocals, atmospheric. i'm down with it. the third song, "sinking in" is really quite good.

    hmmm, i have to write an average of 1661 words a day in november. yep, i'm going to write a novel in a month thanks to this, National Novel Writing Month, staring Nov. 1, of course.
    my first published book will be dedicated to vv and jl. ____ ___u.

    ...more music for people with lives....

    The Long Winters When I pretend to fall (Barsuk) - seattle band, nice artwork.
    wow, solid pop and i REALLY dig the horns. nice touch. good husky wry vocals and odd organs. strangely compelling. ramshackle acoustic americana-esque indie rock. really good and emotional.

    Clem Snide A Beautiful EP (spinart) - awesome. they do a cover of christina aguilera's "beautiful" which is really good.
    "Mike Kalinsky" what a funny song bout a kid who has asthma, always misses school but still does better on tests than everyone else. "spinning bottles never pointed his way." listened to joy division in his bedroom and going nowhere. explodes in the end, detailing what mike's band sounds like today (loud punk).
    also covers velvet underground's "I'll be your mirror" complete with a cello.

    mando diao bring 'em in (Mute) -totally '60s-ish garage rock, but really fucking solid just the same. i like the production, stripped down and all fuzzy. very go-go 60s vibe but more hard. sorta jon spencer blues explosion-ish in third song "motown blood." very solid rock, for sure.

    Rickie Lee Jones The Evening Of My Best Day (V2) - i've never been a fan, best known for "chuck e's in love" from 1979, but this album is surprisingly solid, a shuffling jazz-based mix of atmospheric, oddly melodic songs. nice production. think folky suzanne vega with a more kid-like voice.
    if you like early steely dan, you might like this. love the flute and mellow carefree vibe. feels like a warm summer day. even has songs sung in french.

    the shins chutes too narrow (sub pop) - damn good pop rock delicately written songs that are just so damn endearing. LOVE the rapturous synths.�love james mercer's vocals and lyrics. even the artwork is awesome. lyrics are great. production is great. cute yet not cute pop.
    i would say this is on my top 10 of the year.
    yes, i would.
    don't question my kielbasa either fuckpiss.
    ain't no processions 'round here maestro.
    ok i have to announce my upcoming halloween party and pitchfork my eyes out with alligator syrup.

    remember to look both ways before humping.

    and always always always skin your own potatoes. there's bacteria in there you know.
    grandma always liked spaghetti.




    Monday, October 20, 2003

    my bonnie lies over the ocean

    oh my oh me oh what oh hee.

    good golly miss molly, i know you got a lot to say. but you ain't going fucking nowheres unless you give up some pay.

    yeah man, i sure do love biscuits graveyards and peanuts.
    better than onions my friend, better than onions.
    or mayonaisse if you catch my drift.

    or nobby.

    look at that man sitting in the tree.
    first comes love,
    then comes marriage
    then you're pushing a baby carriage.

    elevator musik by the rez band really sucked.

    oh and check out adam ant. he's a fine fellow is he not?

    grandma chicken for sure.
    Adam Ant's fine new song

    stone cold shiver.

    saturday evening, i was treated to a lovely, just lovely, dining experience at san francisco's beloved Hooters franchise, in your favorite place, Fisherman's Wharf.
    Ah, the irony.
    Culture shock, to be sure, but admittedly, it was also a smirking good time. at one point, our voluptuous 18-year-old waitress from pacifica asked me (after being tipped off by my preening hosts, fools!) if i'd like to go out in the middle of hooters and be embarassed in front of a crowd of rowdy males predominantly aged 15-22.
    "of course!" i said.
    i was led to the middle of the restaurant, whereby i was given two medium sized balloons that were then stuck up my shirt by our darling waitress and told to stand on a chair next to the two other birthday boys.
    naturally, i began rubbing my big breasts immediately, much to the delight of the youngsters present.
    after being introduced as turning 21 (!), i stepped down and gave up my breasts. satisfied.

    family hour, for sure.