Saturday, September 28, 2002

"i lose my lease after 24 years. lose my lease."
"24 years."

the only thing i can mutter back is "i'm sorry" with a genuine look of sympathy..

though the look must have been on my face.
a look of astonishment.
ok, maybe that's overstating things just a bit.
but i was definitely taken aback at the bareness of the shelves in the corner store at Divisadero and ummm, not Haight...Oak?
i think.
the man, obviously upset about this, seemed visibly embarassed about it.
i felt bad for the man.
i wasn't a regular shopper. i wasn't a regular. i didn't know this man.
but his words tore at me. they stopped me for a split second.
i was looking around the store, quickly, just looking for a quick snack to hold me over till i got to bruce's (where i promptly ate two hot dogs on the grill...i was hungry. don't blame me...i don't want to eat. damn physical body bullshit).
i wanted a snickers. because, as you know, they really satisfy.
your hunger pangs.
and that's what i was going for

that and thinking bout whut ah wuz doin tha next dey, 'aving a rail on tha tits of a fine yung thin, aye.
but whut cahn ya do?

the new amon tobin is really fucking good.
i am not kidding around on this kiddo.
me no kid.
me kid
me don' want no kid of a goat.

twas very nice to see miss audrey back in SF. my god, it was so awful what happened to her.
i was very much in admiration of her and her immense bravery.
yeah, those sound like cliched phrases but i really mean it.
this is a woman who was riding as a passenger in a car when the driver had a seizure and drove head-on into a telephone pole.
the driver, out of the hospital in a few days.
miss audrey. brain injury. she had swelling on the brain. fucking crazy.
she still has all of her creative skills but she said she had to relearn everything. how to use the bathroom (no shit...and no pun intended...eeks), how to tie your shoe, how to brush her hair, how to brush her teeth..the list goes on and on. she recognized me immediately, yet she said that a month ago, she wouldn't have been able to .
she had incredibly good spirits.
jesus, amazing.
she's only visiting right now...already djing...
which is totally awesome.


went to sasha at 1015 last night...mainly for observing type reasons.
twas interesting all right.
but i already have ideas...which is good.


could be an interesting opportunity if played correctly.
ok, well, yeah.

listening to right now:

FC Kahuna " Machine Says Yes"
i have it on vinyl, though i haven't listened to it in a while.
just now being released in the States.

i must get to writing yah.

more stuff 2 talk tha xlr8r thing, the bruce thing, the good timing thing,
the breadbasket thing,
the restaurant thing
the aooooooo thing
the kitties
the money thing
the email thing
the dj thing
all these come together as one.
the robb roy thing too

so many things

listen to my shepherd.

love and fruitcake,

Wxeeno Zeevmeb

Thursday, September 26, 2002

everybody thinks i'm crazy
or at least,
the lucky ones.

don't you know that they're all the same.

every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.

warbly meadows persevere as long as they take their toll.
careful dear, you might get some on your toothbrush.

different direction, same vibe.
crazily, this has been good. staying up.
more free thoughts.
more free everything.
more free.

alone. no distractions.
sort of.
in an indirect way. yet it did succeed. i did do a lot of things i've been wanting to do.
so strange.
like strange brew.
something new.

careful, anne frank is watching.

constant flux is now playing.
and you enjoy it.

not really. when listening with a critical ear. which seems to have returned with a vengeance tonight.

well, back to the matter at hand.
and then some.

so because of that you are that which is not before.

pencil in hand, ready set go

currently listening to victor Davies Remixes on JCR (jazzanova compost records)

saw jazzanova two nights in a fucking row.
rock the mother fucking hizzouse.
grab your partner round and round, wave their sorry asses up in the air,
wave their sorry asses like they just don't care.

burn mother fucker burn
somebody hold them hostage before they blow up the place.
chickens never deserved to be served cold pancakes. they just didn't.

there was that one cool thing the other day. remember that?

the beta lounge jazzanova bbq was tha shit though. lots of cool peeps, lots of crazy peeps (that critical mass biker dude was a total trip...of COURSE i met him smoking down. of course you are not my father).

yeah. shit.
plus going there with the "man" was cool. interesting. all very interesting. in fact the preceding three hours was all very very interesting. yes sir.

but enough of about gumbo.
then that random apt. party with surber to end the evening. free cocktails, good conversation, new people and or people that i recently met via garage mahal. party people in the place to be. for me. you see.
she it.

also before i was referring to Bob, the crazy dude that sang good songs to us at day camp. songs like "there's a hole in the bottom of the sea." i loved that guy. i think because he was such a trip.
i mean, shit, we sang the old traditional kid faves like "on top of spaghetti" some jesus songs i'm sure, which were all pretty catchy since i still remember them (it's all about repetition, it's all about the repetition).
bob supposedly lived in like a houseboat on the thornapple river out in the cascade/caledonia area of metro Grand Rapids, back in the way day.
and then some.
coool and smooth, this victor davies is.
i knew he'd be better on the remix tip, especially in the capable hands of jazzanova (so i'm overrun with jazzanova fever right now. i'm allowed).

i didn't like his solo album.

ok, baal is calling.
back to the grindstone

trip on you,
fuckstain charlie went to prison

then he was in big trouble in little china.

yesterday was a day
that today wasn't
because of yesterday

please, be seated.
you enjoy the company of others.

i know i certainly do.

what to make of all this?

dammit, where is baal the golden calf whenyou need him?
he could /could not be my new new one true god.

i guess i'll have to tell the christian scientists to haul their asses outta my spiritual being and let me take back my soul that they took on collatoral...that's probably not spelled correctly.

it's late..
and i'm breathing

yes, it's now time to sing.

i just remember that old guy who used to lead strange camp songs to us curious kiddies at maranatha day camp (yes it was a jesus related thing. what choice did i have? i was a kid growing up in the suburbs in super white super conservative michigan. yeah. that's right.
i'm cool. don't you hate it when people go on too damn long inside the parentheses, knowing they have another thought you have to go back to and you're like "fuck yo, let's end this sidenote thought of your stupid ass and get back to the point? huh? why don't you? man, it's tough. i tell you).

it's also important to have the period OUTSIDE the parenthetical device. i HATE it when it's inside the parentheses.
i'm, btw, practiticing the art of what i do best: procrastination. something has to come of all this, right?
damn. i have to do this to myself.
but i think i figured out the solution.

it's the night, thing.
it's the night thing.
it's the, night, thing.

carefully placed commas make ALL the difference in my world.
and that's the only world you've REALLY got. and really, how much control do you actually have even over your own fucked up mucked up crazy ass shit world?
i thought so.
if you are in complete control, you're not reading this sentence right now anyway.


that's something i'd never say out loud.
funny how the print voice is different, eh?

let's be philosophical.

plug your nose and learn to speak on saturday.
that was a loud noise. i could be dead.
fire that man.

Wednesday, September 25, 2002

don't you know that you can't destroy people this way?

i think you are in big trouble with the law.

you are ready to fight.

i am ready to fight.

everybody is ready tofight

somebody stop me before i am ready to growl.

bob evans, down on the farm

remember when you were down on the farm grandma? i will destroy your evil being.
before it destroys me.
everything is mussed up

look at me i'm sandra dee
never had it never will
i'm like caffeine, except without the milk.

your deodorant makes me angry.
i will finish you.
before i get the chance to demolish your good faith and free will.
i am not the man you fought for in the breaking dry spell before the elections.
those are things you must realize if you are to love, hate and enjoy my blood vessels.
injected with a poison
we don't need you anymore.

i saw jazzanova for the second time tonight. i am beyond special. enjoy my loin sauce.
and dressing. you are not the herbivores you said you would be.
in fact, you are much different than my ancestors would have liked.
you are in big trouble with little china
fuck shamen

timmmmmy loves poon farmers

Monday, September 23, 2002

if you don't at first succeed, try tunnelling to france again.
it'll be much better if you go in the springtime.

far from me to say but you are a nincompoop.

that fashion show on thursday was really funny.

i do know this. you are not welcome in my home

we had another full weekend of intrigue.
friday - had kids. ate them. they were pretty good. a little gamy. actually, we went to the Cinema Electronica show at ResFest at the Palace of Fine Arts. the electronic videos we saw were right on, man.
then we went to go see Recloose (from Detroit) at Galaxy Club. it was cool. good music. ran into mr. nachmann, and we discussed the future of bricks in the UK, as well as picking up sticks and their relationship with meager men from minnesota.
then we arrived home for love, attention, guidance and push-offness. most splendid. do tell.
saturday, we slept very long, then made kitchen noises with pranksters.
it was good.
we did some stuff, then finally got around to getting ready to meet up with the kids at hobson's choice back up on haight street. we got there an hour late, at around 9.
then! what did we do? i'll tell you. we hung there for awhile, then moved on down the street to The Top for some wacky fun times.
it was ok. not bad, not bad. not bad.
did i say that already?

mazel tov.

we hung there, then trekked all the way over to north beach to hit The Great Water.
did i mention i was just at the GW on thursday night, waiting for Mosi (and guffmann) to pick me up for the fashion extravaganza.
free food and drinks thanks to my little blurb in the wave.
yay. some good came of it.
nat, the owner, is happy happy happy.
goodie goodie mob.

i went to the ad agency on thursday so i could see helen pon off and stuff. erno. that was before great water.
see how everything runs backwards now that the planets are aligned and you're looking for me.
i love america.

yesterday, domino mother fucker.
another pretty day for the ages.
sunday is the day that we pray, pray for today.
2 legit 2 quit.
hey hey.

sunday, we rolled out back to resfest to make it for the 3 pm showing of the Chris Cunningham retrospective, which was most fucked up. the best thing we saw (so much good stuff) was the new "Flex", more fucked up than nick nolte in malibu (amazing mug shot of him fucking funny, i nearly lost my saltines and butter sticks).
we saw my good former friend in the front row.
more challenging than bacon.
that was fine.
ran into the lau, kellster, jaso, and pals as we walked out.
they were heading in to the spike jonze thing "what's up fatlip" which iwanted to see, but didn't.
i am curious to know more if the price is right.
instead, we hit the bbq that was a real treat up in north beach. up on that rise at montgomery and vallejo where there's a little garden. rocked and stuff. great view and everythign else.
had a lot of fun, saw a lot of photos of burning man from various folk.
good time had by most.
thank you swiss master.
then back over to resfest for more fun and intrigue. now i need presents.
saw the guy from koop there but didnt' know what to say, hey.
see 'em tonight, right.


why can i no longer feel my bones? i must be plugged up.

Friday, September 20, 2002

good lord
i am indeed a slackass of very large proportions.

i vowed i would be back at this every day,

i have not.

so sayeth the shepherd.


i was GOING to say

the hour of 4-5am is the critical point, when night turns into day.
not, in the literal "when the sun actually rises" sense.
fuck that shit.
i'm talking about 4-5am is when last night turns into "this morning"

you know?

like right now, it's 4:05 am
so shit

like when i got up at 5 the other morning, that was fine.
that was morning.

4 am is still night.

my god, what the fuck.


crazy shit afoot i tell you.

rumblings in the distance

something is coming for me

but what is it?

and where doth it come from?

only quaker oats guy knows for sure.

see, this isn't hard to babble on about nothing, now is it?

i'm sure the 1-2 readers that are now currently checking this shit out are going "yeah"

and more yeahs
not to be confused with the "yeah yeah yeahs"
no no (i haven't actually heard the cd but as underground pretty well read of current shit hipster, i can tell they're already getting the hype. is it for real?)

i didn't dig the dude at the phonebooth earlier this evening (see, i still said this evening. i'm still thinking this is thursday) butting into our conversation about bush and shit.
come on.
the first, time, fine.

second's all good but...

third time...dude

what's UP?

go away.



but you know whatever.

i'm on the laid back trip..

yeah i just said that. deal.


now my "logical" part of my brain is telling me "yo, it's 4:09 am. bed down."

shit, i know.

especially since i have lockjaw.

and a licking The Kitty on my left arm.

yet, i like it.

fucked. i am.

the fashion show this evening ...the macy's 20th anniversary thingie.....strange.

the "circus act" at the end was quite something...especially the spinning four peeps...two women, two men...all barely dressed in skimpy flesh colored sorta outfits.

they all had on heavy theatrical like glitter on faces, chests (girls were topless but both had the glitter....)

hanging from this giant circle ball thing.
it was cool.
confusing and fairly sexual at times...
of course..

fashion show...what a trip that was.
i didn't know a thing about it.
a whole other world.
so fake.
yet so fascinating.

logical tim is winning out.

brush teeth and retire, fall asleep watching bad movies on movie channels.


love and anklets

bunny D

Friday, September 13, 2002

new drink just established:

orange juice, no pulp
secrets of the valley grape mix juice from south africa (i ain't gonna play sun city!)

i firmly believe in creative impulses.

so sayeth the shepherd.


chafing is just not acceptable in my world.
embrace spaghetti.

chunnvver, of mapfumo
the man or woman (but probably man) who invented the divider between urinals deserve a friendly toot of the horn from passersby.
good work, maestro.

tina and i are still trying to figure out why people say that the opening scene in "interview with a vampire" as shot or based around a place on divisadero. the opening shot seems to me to look a lot like market street and that one triangle building similar to the one in NYC's times square.

today tina and i saw a double feature: spider-man and men in black II.
i found spider-man to be the superior of the two.
i liked it. sure a bit over the top and cheesy at times...but it was soooo true to the comic book aspects of the character. i loved it.
i forgot how much of a fan i was of spider-man from the 1960s, when it was first started by stan lee and steve ditko. his artwork...was very ...blocky..but in that cool kinda comic booky early 60s square kinda vibe...reminds me of what i like about superman comics from the 60s and some of the 70s, more early.....the end of the 70s, superman was a big hulky mass of a flag-waving fool.
or something.

the double feature was a good idea. you finally feel like you get your money's worth (in this case, a measly $6.50 at our fave metreon i.e. megaplex of everything.

i'm listening to "hypnotic state," this strange electronic compilation from 1995 on C&S Records (??).
funny thing is, it has my good friend seofon's track on there.
funny because i bought this randomly in 1995 and then met the guy years later, sat next to him at

grandma didn't raise no dummy.
lordy lordy.


Thursday, September 12, 2002

below is a story that came out today (yesterday in france and antarctica) and i think it's very funny. i especially like the quote, which i've conveniently highlighted with my magical internet pen of boldness.
enjoy that boldness.

Pigs and Chickens Are Smarter Than You Think
Sep 11 2002 10:45AM
LEICESTER, England (Reuters) - Pigs and chickens are more intelligent than most people believe, scientists said Wednesday.

Chickens can learn from each other and are encouraged by example, and pigs use subtle social behavior and signal their competitive strength to rivals, researchers from the University of Bristol said.

Despite their reputation as the bird-brains of the avian world, chickens can be taught what food to eat or avoid, are able to adapt their behavior and can learn to navigate.

"There are hidden depths to chickens,"
said Professor Christine Nichol who has studied their behavior.

Pigs have also demonstrated cunning behavior and shown they can exploit the knowledge of their colleagues to obtain food.

They may also be able to discriminate between different levels of aggressiveness to sort out their social order.

"Our results suggest that pigs can develop quite sophisticated social competitive behavior, similar to that seen in some primate species," Dr. Mike Mendl said.

the cowbell is NEVER a good option, people

the careful art of picking out an appropriate listening experience for a particular time is a tricky and arduous task, my friend.

choose correctly, and expect boatloads of rewards, wild boar, and definite and/or defiant gifts of many shapes and dimensions.

choose incorrectly and watch your family disintegrate one by one over a period of 8-10 months by large piles of molten lava from the very banks of the viscious (and viscous) sea of damascus, home of paul, writer of acts, the one book in the bible.

see how it all comes together like the pillar of salt that you are (and fuck the morton fisherman and his bullshit salt - fuck him).

see how it all comes together like cheese, brie and david copperfield?

it is really one love, mon, just like ragga mon says, yona.



i was talking about my pamprin addiction.

before that though, i was looking at my amazingly wonderful and frankly, goshdarn dynamite cd selecting skills.

the appropriate mood of this evening is "background writing music that's not too obtrusive, stimulates the mind a bit and gives me the educational musical experience i still crave as a backup"

mission accomplished, solider of lesser known fortunes of mass destruction.

fuck billy mcguire.

herein, now, beforethewit about tit.
lies my magic.:

1. dabrye - instrmntl - this was on earlier in a mix of five cds and my head missed it. how, i do not know. this is the next lp from tadd mullinexx, from ann arbor, mich. home of the wolverines and brave vessels. something. i just read a review of this somewhere too, so it reminded me to relisten. it's mediocre. doesn't thrill me. not as good as "one/three," which, was better. sometimes, dead is better. that's what fred gwynne said.
and thank the creator for that.
this is mellow...lowkey. yeah.
ease into this shit.

2. monolake - cinemascope - eeerie, extra eeeerie. yeah. sounds like what you should listen to while in your rocket ship drifting through space, the cosmos, or some other similar universe related reference with cool floaty astronauts wandering around, drinking tea from a tube.
or maybe not.
concrete architecture...nah, you know what..this seems more like spacetravel music to me.
for when you're in the between stage of about to be suspended animated for months time...or when you're coming out of the suspended animation scene.
each way, a good heady ride. smooth. yeah. shit.

3.underworld a hundred days off - i'm interviewing them tomorrow lik e i said in the last election and so i need to prepare my head for this trip man. it's alright. i don't really know what to make of it.
but fuck linda ronstadt and her "how do i make you."
that bitch don't know shit about elvis costello.
it's not that good of an album. it's kind of boring. i wish it were better. i'm trying really hard to like it more.
they must not like spaghetti anymore.

4. Wood Choice Cuts - compilation - damn straight i've had this for awhile, recommended it to some people yet never wrote a goddamn review of the damn fucker. what the fuck is fucking wrong with fucking me. fuck.
anal. nevertheless, once i get this fucking mother assfucking swearing and gratuitous goddamn cuntbag profanity and cum-ridden vulgarity cunt juice out of the way, i'll be able to tell you about the rest of the pussy lips laden album.
dick man.

yeah. that felt almost as good as climbing a brick wall in the summer sun. coincidentally, not my maid of honor this year. wood choice cuts is a fine selection of jazzy, wobbly breakbeats, perfect for people who are really high and enjoy a good head trip while writing freeform fucked up shit.....preferably for pot, but also good for E comedowns, K-holes and H-bomb shitstorms. don't forget to wear your Depends, smack heads.

nobody wants a repeat layne staley performance now do we?
damn the rooster indeed.

5. spring heel jack - amassed - i usually have to throw in one cd that may or may not be tortuous. plus i just wanted to spell that word "tortuous" you know. anam.
super out there freeeeeeeeee form ultra odd jazz for people like that obsessive mother fucker at the mp3 focus group in berkeley, in which he obsessed about reachable buttons on his goddamn player that would fit comfortably on his beltloop thing.
please fuck off.

and remember, no more talking to heather at the san jose starbucks.
she earned her stripes in heaven.

i do feel bad about dissing that chick at the bagel store. but she was just an indirect anger spurt standing in the way of freedom from the terrorists.

this underworld is just so-so.

love my way, psychedelic furs.

why do i suddenly recall the time i was in Grand Marais, Mich., in the Upper Peninsula, in like 1992 or 93. one of those years. wow. damn. long time. damn. i remember being in that cabin in the middle of nowhere. jess' friend maggie's place. i believe. no electricity. just before cell phones became big. damn.

i must work for awhile or die with my boots on.
paul d'ianno would be proud if he knew you were reading this and not dead.

fuck that america, i'm going punk.

long live randy rhoads
bill bixby
bert convy
layne staley
bob crane

clean my shaft

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

you had me at hello.
so screw you monkey!
i have you now.
everyone knows butter is better than margarine.
don't you know?
fucking bullshit, that's what it is.
fucking bullshit.
man, if i ever find the guy who did that, i'm gonna fucking destroy that shit.
forget my evil mother.
for you will know my name is the lord as i lay down beside thee.
shoot shoot shoot that cigarette.
hey now, hey now, boys say go.
locqauer says stop.
and i say whoo boy, just love me love me love me
undercover angel.
midnight fantasy.
i never dreamed a bigger part of me.
would be
undercover angel
midnight fantasy
just wanna be your woman
please baby please

let's all sing along and follow the dancing ball.
don't you mess around with me
i'm a

Tuesday, September 10, 2002

currently in my 5-disc cd rotation, right here, right now, in america, the land of the free and the fee and the bovine

LTJ Bukem featuring MC Conrad - "Progression Sessions: Japan, Live 2002" - yeah, this is what you really need. no. read rant below.

Pieter K - new one whose name escapes my noggin - pretty good, intricate and ambitious breakbeat, drum 'n' bass and house. solid

Cinematic Orchestra - "Every Day" - this record continues to get better and better with each listen. definitely in my current top 5 of the year right now.

Thievery Corporation - "The Richest Man In Babylon" - this is ok...actually it's been growing on me. we'll see.

Arkestra One - "Arkestra One" - also on Thievery Corp's label, that same sorta loungey kitschy jazzy smokey get-yer-ya-ya's-out vibe. yet odd by a bit. which helps. good use of sampled vocals.

and there you have your current top five in the cd player.
my eyes are heavier than mr. heavyfoot's.
thank you poindexter.

stench mcqueen lives here
that shapely waitress looks good wearing underoos.

below are some, off the top of my head and a little help via magic, of my fave albums of the year, thus far.
we've still got three and a half months to go, so anything can happen.
tomorrow i may start to really dig on the latest n sync album or the latest slap a shit from boz scaggs, but for now, right here, right now, this is this!
"back in rack"

Best Albums 2002 thus far (in no particular order, other than the wayward skin of walnut juice. but who knows what that is?)

Cinematic Orchestra - Every Day
Boards Of Canada - Geogaddi
Mark Rae - Rae Road
Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
Layo & Bushwacka - Night Works
Touch Tones - Various artists
Ishq - Orchid
Meat Beat Manifesto - RUOK?
Technova - Dirty Secrets
Tech Pop compilation - Ministry of sound
The Vines - Highly Evolved
Scion - arrange and process basic channel tracks
Caural - Stars On My Ceiling
Metamatics - from death to passwords�
DJ Shadow - The Private Press
Wood Choice Cuts compilation
Andrew Pekler - Station To Station
Jazzanova - In Between
Languis - Untied
Minus 8 - Minuit
Recloose - Cardiology
DJ Spooky - Optometry

Sean Escoffrey - "Days Like This"
Osunlade - "Change"
Green Velvet - "La La Land"
x-press2 - "lazy"
Johnny Fiasco - "take 5"
king kooba - "salvation"
Layo & Bushwacka! - "Love Story"
Minus 8 - "Snowblind" (amalgamation soundz mix)
Verious Artists - "Susy May"
Forward Selection - "Supermellow"
Swayzak - "In The Car Crash"
Plankton Man vs. Terrestre - "Gran Chaparral"
DJ Shadow - "Six Days"
Nightmares On Wax - "Bleu My Mind"
Zero dB - "Come Party"
Arkestra One - "Man From The Audience"
Technova - "Move Me"
Technova - "Mind Games"
Miguel Migs - "Brand New Day"
Dirty Vegas - "Days Go By"
Dr. Demento - "Kinko, the Kid-loving Klown"
Eminem - "without me"
Ass basket - "dicey shit going down in the city"
Plunging Member - "basic craftiness in the house"
Place to be - "make my chimney special assweed."

can you guess which ones are fake?
hint, they aren't the ones above the immediate three you see right now with your peepers.
pugs are for chickens.
i am not a chicken.

basically, you have the most annoying breath, i've decided to stomp it out with garlic toast butter supreme, a kissin' cousin of smutbutter.
if you're keeping subliminal score at home.
your choice is not longer relevant in this part of the sea.

nobody ever calls the ocean the "sea" unless you live in manchester or some other town in england, where the birds have more feathers than antelope play in the beer-infest gardens of moorer, where i met a girl so fair.

she gave me a piece of gelatin and i squashed her chance with my steely knives, because you just can't kill the beast.
last thing i remember, as i was running to the door, gotta get back to the passageway of where i was before,
you can check out any time you like but you can never leave.
that means you're going to hell. that's what the bible peeps taught us back in the 80s.
that rock was of the devil.

which for some reason, this reminds me of my crazy uncle ed, me daddy's brotha.
he's a little, ah, shaky, you see, and damn, but a bit wacky.
so i remember he had a book that talked about all the rock and roll that was of the devil and you just had to figure out how to read the subliminal messages from satan.
now, that whole idea seems quaint and slight.
how could we really have gotten that upset over rock and roll?
i mean, shit, people aren't even afraid of marilyn manson anymore.
we need more extremism.
yeah, well, why do i remember the time i asked ol nervous (and i believe lifelong virgin) Ed if he ever said the word "dang" (instead of, say, damn, fuck or darn) and he said "no."
he used to love playing handheld coleco football games when we'd go up on the farm and hang with eddie and grandma pratt.
ed always liked to do crossword puzzles too.
the ironic thing of all this is when i was a kid, my uncle ed's room is where i largely spent my time while at my grandma pratt's, on the farm (i loved it on the farm and it truly is in the country, in rural michigan).
see i used to go in there, put on headphones and listen to old records from the 60s, mostly rock and pop stuff. this is where and when i discovered the beatles. weird, but it was totally on my own. nobody forced them on me.
my family certainly wasn't very music knowledgable...yet, i guess i did learn a lot about stuff that was popular in the 60s and 70s because, i was a kid in the 70s and my parents were still more attached to their youth and the musical pop culture they soaked up.
i used to spend hours in uncle ed's room, listening to the beatles (all the american releases, a way american record companies made more on the beatles, by making shorter albums and splitting them up with other singles attached....more albums released in america).
so much fun.
that's pretty much where the dj thing began.

something is happening. i tell you what.
something is brewing.
it's there.
it's there.

and now you see where all this shit went to.
back inside the masoleum

the kitty is licking my left hand, this minute, this now

1:19:33 am tuesday, sept. 10, 2002...
damn straight now

post playa is a drag...yet sooooo damn good too.
shove me in a basket.

love and ass cake.

A plea to LTJ Bukem

Dear mr. LTJ,

I have a message to give to you from your fans here in the U.S.
We love you and your cool, smokey jazzed out drum �n bass, full of crisp keyboards, tight breaks, and foolhardy melodies. We love your cool wraparound glasses.
We may not be into drum �n� bass as much as we used to, but we�re still down for some nice breezy LTJ grooves from time to time.

Yet, for a long, long time now, a wall has been building between myself and the true, ideally rapturous LTJ Bukem experience. And I think I�ve figured out the problem.

Get rid of MC Conrad.

Ok, I said it. It�s out there.

I�m not necessarily dissing Conrad. He has his thing going on. And I�m sure there are many a bwoy out there who�s so down with Conrad�s Up-UP!!-UPLIFTING vibe!!!

But I�m over it.
No, I don�t wanna flip the goddamn script anymore.
I�m not really wanting to take it up any higher.
I�m fine where I�m at.
You don�t need to get me up on a spiritual plane.
And yeah, I can feel the heat. I know I�m shining on.
I hear you Conrad, I do.

But dude, let�s be honest. We LTJ fans just don�t want him around any more.

Christ, he�s been the �host� for the last several thousand LTJ live mixes (which seem to roll out every few months from the Good Looking, along with the countless re-releases, yo) and frankly, it�s over for Conrad. LTJ, you did a great job with your full-length. There are some solid tracks on there. Sure, there�s a bit o filler, but hey, I�m down with quantity. It can�t all be liked by everyone.
And I�m just one annoyed guy, ready to sucker punch Conrad if he keeps on barking barking barking barking incessantly over the goddamn breezy mother fucking lite drum n� bass beats.

We�re all over Conrad.
We just want LTJ.

Or shit, bring along a couple other vocalists. What about some female vocals? Make it fair. I can dig on some hip-hop, sure, but when I listen to your music Mr. Bukem, I don�t really hear hip-hop. So much of it seems forced.

I also realize that the human element can really add a big spiritual uplift in a live event and Conrad is definitely an uplifter.
Sure, I mean, come on.
We all get it, like I said.
But give us something new. Try something different.
Some different vocalists, a live bassist or drummer�something.
We�re all getting mighty bored.
And we like you. We really do.
We still dutifully come out to support you when you roll through town. We still listen to your tracks.
See, we DO care.

And this is why we needed this intervention with you.
To be straight and let you know what�s up.

So LTJ, at least think about it.
A tour without Conrad and maybe a live mix and a studio album isn�t too much to ask, is it? We understand how busy you must be.
But we really like you.

We do.
And we hope you�ll hear our pleas.

He has a solo career now. Let him in on that vibe for the time being.
But do your thang.

Please, if, for nothing else, for the goddamn children.
It�s all for the children.

Bukem Danno.


LTJ Bukem fan who�s fed up and isn�t gonna take it anymore.