Tuesday, September 10, 2002

A plea to LTJ Bukem

Dear mr. LTJ,

I have a message to give to you from your fans here in the U.S.
We love you and your cool, smokey jazzed out drum �n bass, full of crisp keyboards, tight breaks, and foolhardy melodies. We love your cool wraparound glasses.
We may not be into drum �n� bass as much as we used to, but we�re still down for some nice breezy LTJ grooves from time to time.

Yet, for a long, long time now, a wall has been building between myself and the true, ideally rapturous LTJ Bukem experience. And I think I�ve figured out the problem.

Get rid of MC Conrad.

Ok, I said it. It�s out there.

I�m not necessarily dissing Conrad. He has his thing going on. And I�m sure there are many a bwoy out there who�s so down with Conrad�s Up-UP!!-UPLIFTING vibe!!!

But I�m over it.
No, I don�t wanna flip the goddamn script anymore.
I�m not really wanting to take it up any higher.
I�m fine where I�m at.
You don�t need to get me up on a spiritual plane.
And yeah, I can feel the heat. I know I�m shining on.
I hear you Conrad, I do.

But dude, let�s be honest. We LTJ fans just don�t want him around any more.

Christ, he�s been the �host� for the last several thousand LTJ live mixes (which seem to roll out every few months from the Good Looking, along with the countless re-releases, yo) and frankly, it�s over for Conrad. LTJ, you did a great job with your full-length. There are some solid tracks on there. Sure, there�s a bit o filler, but hey, I�m down with quantity. It can�t all be liked by everyone.
And I�m just one annoyed guy, ready to sucker punch Conrad if he keeps on barking barking barking barking incessantly over the goddamn breezy mother fucking lite drum n� bass beats.

We�re all over Conrad.
We just want LTJ.

Or shit, bring along a couple other vocalists. What about some female vocals? Make it fair. I can dig on some hip-hop, sure, but when I listen to your music Mr. Bukem, I don�t really hear hip-hop. So much of it seems forced.

I also realize that the human element can really add a big spiritual uplift in a live event and Conrad is definitely an uplifter.
Sure, I mean, come on.
We all get it, like I said.
But give us something new. Try something different.
Some different vocalists, a live bassist or drummer�something.
We�re all getting mighty bored.
And we like you. We really do.
We still dutifully come out to support you when you roll through town. We still listen to your tracks.
See, we DO care.

And this is why we needed this intervention with you.
To be straight and let you know what�s up.

So LTJ, at least think about it.
A tour without Conrad and maybe a live mix and a studio album isn�t too much to ask, is it? We understand how busy you must be.
But we really like you.

We do.
And we hope you�ll hear our pleas.

He has a solo career now. Let him in on that vibe for the time being.
But do your thang.

Please, if, for nothing else, for the goddamn children.
It�s all for the children.

Bukem Danno.


LTJ Bukem fan who�s fed up and isn�t gonna take it anymore.

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