i am so weird at work.
as in, i'm a more reserved tim pratt.
i mean, i'm still me, in the me sense.
don't you love the me sense?
anyway (one of my favorite and helpful words for my wandering mind - because i'm the king of tangents, of attempting to constantly overcram all the shit i can in my skull each day)....and no, i'm not a fan of "anywhoo."
with the extended "ooh" sound especially.
that's bullshit man.
bullshit i say.
i so want to be super over the top in real life.
like when i was walking down 16th today
i am so in my self-created bubble, my tim pratt think tank, to ruminate on the the tim pratt everyone else sees. helps me keep my sanity to go into deep tim pratt-ville.
keeps me sane yo.
and god knows, the world needs me sane.
because insane, well sir, there'd be trouble.
but enough about twinkies.
dolly madison was pretty damn cool.
for a bonnet-wearing person.
james madison was her kick-ass husband, whom i seem to remember was a pretty rocking president.
i think george w. bush, our fake-ass chump for a fake president, has to be one of our worst.
worst than william henry harrison.
worst than gerald ford, who was never elected.
i like zachary taylor purely because he has a cool name?
remember the zero factor?
you know, george bush could pull a makaveli (because i can't spell the old school way and i'm too damn lazy to look up the correct one) and have us vote for his pseudo-dead ass because we all feel bad, and then he turns out to be ok.
like the day after the election, he emerges totally via the strength of knowing a solid 51% of the electorate are behind him (of course, rigged by those touch screens that are heavily funded by GOP monsters - but that's for another day, another struggle in this thing we call life man, fucking a.)
caller go ahead.
my girlfriend is a heroin pig.
not MY girlfriend, as in, tim pratt's girlfriend.
i've lapsed once again into creative laziness, biting quotes from bruce mccolluch's "heroin pig" track.
he is so awesome.
i totally did not appreciate kids in the hall while it was popular.
it required me to be older, wiser and more a man of the world, a man of the people, for me to appreciate the fine nuanced (another fave word of late) world of kids in the hall.
i should have said humor but fuck it. i go with spontaniety every time.
except for sometimes.
you know, in the last sentence, i almost typed "accept" (as in that great german band from the 80s, with that fine hit "balls to the wall" man! fronted by the dimunitive - another fave word from circa-80s circus and hit parader magazines, which i read religiously - puto) by accident.
that would have sucked.
i hate it when people use the wrong word, or at least, the wrong spelling.
i abhor misspellings, unless it's me being lazy (i'm very good at that, despite the fact that i'm insanely busy all the fucking time..i wish i didn't have to sleep, though i do like to sleep - ah the limitations -- and lamentations for you bible listeners -- of being human).
like earlier today, when i was hanging with my good pal that helps me out with specific needs that i have occasionally.
she has this art piece up in her bathroom, where i was hanging out for awhile just because i like to hang out in the bathroom to really think about buttcakes, words like bilious and cheerios, which i still like as long as they have a light sprinkling of cane sugar, but only on the first bowl. she has this piece that references "capitolism"....but see, anybody that gets really fucking annoyed/pissed off/enraged/outraged/somewhat raged about misspellings or wrong usage in a sentence, would know that it should be spelled "capitalism."
i mean come on, especially here in san francisco, where there are a lot of people who are against capitalism, especially socialists, marxists, nazis, neonazis, neocons, neo soul fans, and nepotism fans of freddie prinze jr..
i interrupt my totally coherent thoughts to relay to you that currently, i'm hearing car tires squealing pretty regularly every 20 seconds or so for the last 3 minutes.
frank the black haired kitty is currently laying in my lap. he has a fine tail.
i must say.
some kitties don't have fine tails, only somewhat good tails but this kitty towers above other kitties, i must say.
and i do say, obviously.
i say obviously a lot, in my writing at least.
don't you love how self-analytical i am?
i'm like two people, one to watch and record what i do, and then the one that just does.
this kitty frank has been discriminated against because of the color of his fur.
some people (like say, oh..our idiotic attorney general, one john asscroft - misspelling completely intentional for you non believers and christians of all creeds) really freak out about black cats.
which is weird.
i mean, witches like 'em. and fuck, witches are usually pretty cool, even if they have poor eating habits, bad hygiene, and a subpar wardrobe selection (i mean, come on...ditch those cheap-ass pointy hats already...go for something in plaid or mauve).
one witch requirement is to have a mole of some sort on your face, particularly the nose and/or chin.
for optimum evilness.
see, cuz god is punishing witches because they're like evildoers and stuff, so they automatically become ugly once they start flying around on their brooms.
fuck..i need a beverage.
more in a few.