...and where the fuck is Spalding Gray?

i am curious.

i would be concerned if i knew him. but i don't know him. he's a likeable fellow, sure. probably dead.

or in bed with treebeard.

it's late. i need more pudding.

my left eye hurts

love,
liz phair

best albums of 2003
not necessarily in order -- it changes from day to day�

1. White Stripes Elephant (V2) - As much as i didn't want to include this album in my Top 10 -- especially after seeing how it was near or at the top of a jillion other "Best of 2003" lists by various publications -- the fact remains that "Elephant" is a great album from start to finish.�I still haven't tired of listening to it more than�eight months after it was released.�And the White Stripes did it on their terms, a rarity in modern popular music.

2. New Pornographers Electric Version (Matador) - So damn catchy, it's scary. The New Pornographers managed to conjure up just the right amount of undeniable pop hooks with smart lyrics and complex arrangements. You can tell the band was having a lot of fun making this record.

3. Radiohead Hail To The Thief (Capitol) - Not only was this my favorite politically-oriented album of the year (sorry, Quasi!), it was yet another in a long string of great albums produced by this Oxford, England quintet. The standard is very high for Radiohead and they have yet to falter - a testament to this band's talent. And despite the hype that this was radiohead's return to rock, the fact is the group merely toned down some of the more obvious electronic elements.

4. The Sea And Cake One Bedroom (Thrill Jockey) - More than a year after its release, I'm still in love with the Chicago-based band's seemingly effortless 10-song pop glide through ethereal indie pop. And yet another band that manages to combine electronic music elements to their advantage.

5. Shins Chutes Too Narrow (Sub Pop) - Near-perfect pop record from this New Mexico-based group. James Mercer is truly a gifted songwriter.

6. Manitoba Up in Flames (Domino/Leaf) - Gorgeous, high-density�album from Canada's Manitoba that recalls the "wall of sound" shoegazer vibe of a decade ago with a breezy, uplifting tone.

7. The Rapture Echoes (Universal) - This album was a hard sell to me at first, but it steadily grew on me the more i listened, especially after seeing them perform life. Screechy and scratchy, "Echoes" successfully combined an early '80s new wave punk�ethoes with crunchy, retro/new 4/4 dance beats and helped pave the way for rock's continued invasion of the dancefloor.

8. Psychonauts Songs For Creatures (EFA) - Haunting, evocative record that's not quite electronic, not quite rock/pop, but highly addictive, emotion-fueled music.

9. Goldfrapp Black Cherry (Mute) - Fans of her earlier work cried foul that Goldfrapp had gotten too caught up in the trendy electroclash sound, but the lush, pristine-like production assembled behind her eloquent vocals make this a headphone maven's wet dream.

10. Broadcast Haha Sound (Warp) - Garage rock for the electronic set, Broadcast's rich, fluid style and carefully paced album make this a surprising gem.

strange days

jim morrison knew what he was talking about, didn't he?

i mean, fuck, we live in a world in which Curve sounds exactly the same in 2003 as they did in 1992? how is that possible?

a world in which my cat ("the kitty") tries to constantly stop me from writing down these sordid tales i'm telling by laying on my wrist whilst i'm attempting to navigate this hear computer thingie.

a world in which courtney love and whitney houston still exist and john lennon and john belushi do not?

what is going on?

it's fucking bullshit, everything. the whole lot.
everything you know. it's all bullshit.
our lives, bullshit.
see, dammit, maybe the matrix was right. we are all drones.
see, look at me get all heavy duty and shit.
see, i'm just a man with a gun not in my hand.

or a knife. though i better watch my girlfriend. look what happened to elliott smith.
i should keep things positive, yes? in my personal writings on the world wide web, where nobody will EVER find out what i'm saying.

see it's all secret.

and i know this. my atari 2600 never did me no wrong. i never got no colecovision. shit.

simple things.

it's all about simple things.

the nothingness is the everythingness.

ant traps are a good thing.



you know, i just thought of something.
sometimes, being too enlightened, too educated about the world and all the SHIT that is going on, can be a negative thing.
maybe ignorant bliss is the path to the happiness.
i don't really believe that, but it's a neat idea.
what if i've got it all wrong too?
god knows, i wish my enlightened views could somehow translate to millions/billions of dollars at my disposal.
shit, that'd be like, super-cool.
for sure.

but of course, i'm also a realist, which is weird cuz i also consider myself a idealist (yeah, big duality issues--- still haven't seen a therapist though).
it's all a big jumbled mess, you see.

i feel like, with apologies to ralph macchio, i'm at a crossroads right now. and i've gotta make the right choice or end up like buster poindexter.
or like bert convy, bill bixby or michael landon.
i wanna be like jack barry. he was fucking cool on the joker's wild.

those were the days.
fuck yeah.
ABC's That's Incredible!was a cool show too. fran tarkenton (how can you go wrong with a former NFL quarterback as your host?), cathy lee crosby (slut) and john davidson (cheeseball). they fucking rocked.
and they made me more scared of ghosts than i already was.

And you thought the Ohio woman who sued over her lost lottery ticket was bad...

Man sues cable company over TV addiction

Congratulations, you're the song of the morning

Good job, really.
All great.
Your contribution is appreciated.
Thanks so much for all you've done.

No really, wonderful, just wonderful.

(ahem)

OK, the envelope, if you please?

Thank you, thank you so much.
Thanks.

Heh Heh.

Yes, Here we go.

Alright, and new winner and champion song of the morning we're now experiencing, here, in this life, today, right now, in the Pacific Standard Time Zone in Oakland, California, Thursday, January 8, 2004, at 10:36 a.m., is.........

(drum roll, mr. maestro)

(Thank you. Thanks so much for being here for this wonderful occasion).


"VORTEX"

BY MS. KELLI HAND,

AKA "K-HAND"

FROM DETROIT, MICHIGAN

OFF THE READY FOR THE DARKNESS CD.


the rising, rippling drum and texture effects combined with its driving bottom end and minimal production made this song the perfect song of the moment for me, tim pratt, right here, right now.

Thanks so much for joining me on this wonderful occasion.
Now, back to the matter at hand.


Shove it.

For Your Viewing and Listening Pleasure

The Lord Works in very mysterious ways:
Jump-Roping For Jesus!

Never get completely sloshed when you're going to be interviewed on TV
Say it ain't so, Broadway Joe!

Top 10 best-selling albums of 2003

Here's a complete rundown of 2003's Top 10 best-selling albums, per Nielsen SoundScan:

1. Get Rich or Die Tryin', 50 Cent, 6.5 million copies
2. Come Away with Me, Norah Jones, 5.1 million
3. Meteora, Linkin Park, 3.5 million
4. Fallen, Evanescence, 3.4 million
5. Speakerboxx/The Love Below, OutKast, 3.1 million
6. Dangerously in Love, Beyonc�, 2.5 million
7. Chocolate Factory, R. Kelly, 2.4 million
8. Metamorphosis, Hilary Duff, 2.4 million
9. Shock'n Y'All, Toby Keith, 2.3 million
10. Rush of Blood to the Head, Coldplay, 2.2 million

How many of these albums are in my possession?
Just 50 Cent and OutKast. Yep, that's it. I've heard some of the Toby Keith, Coldplay, Evanescence, Norah Jones and Beyonce albums.
but, yeah.
This is a very sad list, I realize.
Not necessarily a good year for music.

But enough about shit.
My own personal Top 10 list of 2003 is coming very soon!

oh and David Cross is tonight!
Yes!

It's 2004 ... Do you know where your ellipse is?
with apologies to Daniel Webster

can you believe it?
it's 2004.
somebody the other night (that would be NYE - acronyms are so cool) mentioned that '04 just "sounds better than '03." and i would agree.

was it the fact that '03 is an odd number?
fuck, it was a VERY odd year. obviously you know that.

in my opinion, the terrorists have already won.
our way of life is permanently altered and we will never go back to the relative contented ignorant bliss of the late '90s. i'm happy to have lived through the good times, now being able to better recognize the happy times from the not-so-happy.

currently, we live in a not-so-happy time.
but you know, like everything else in this thing called life (with apologies to mr. prince rogers nelson), we run in cycles. forever fluid, ever-changing.

things will bounce back (hmmm, don't want this to devolve into pep talk, though).
but they will.
maybe not for a long time though.
see, we're also impatient beings, at least americans are.
or more so than most of the rest of the world.
hence, the near-constant need by the broadcast media (print too, though not quite as much) to trumpet any sign of positivity in all aspects of life. obviously the economy is a big one here.
"more jobs!"
"the nasdaq reach 2000 again! life is good again."

yeah, but where are those jobs? service sector primarily, which pay next to nothing, not much above poverty line.

we just REALLY REALLY want things to be better.
and sooner rather than later.
but that's not reality.
despite what the bush administration would have you believe.

i saw a great cartoon the other day, in Doonesbury actually, basically saying that the bush admin uses 9-11 as reasoning for virtually everything they do, like restricting our civil liberties, favoring big business/corporate america over pretty much everything and everyone else - never mind the poor, middle class, what have you, or the environment, let future generations deal with our shit.

yeah, great example mr. bush. you act like a spoiled child that you are.
"america is MINE! I'll do whatever i want to!"

apparently, you are.

but you know, i don't want to begin the new year bitter.
though i'm not usually one to be all gooey-eyed and take note of previous miscalculations and make resolutions to improve my well-being, i, uh, am making an exception this year.

because, dammit jim, i'm worth it.
and also because al franken told me.

this is tim pratt, for marketplace.


p.s. longer letter later friends. the rains are pitter-pattering on my skylight directly above me, i hear the white noise of the bart train traveling by to destinations known, my kitty frankie has is face buried in the blankets on my bed, and i wanna watch the rest of my new DVD, Lord Of the Rings: The Two Towers.
and yeah, i know you're going "that's the REAL reason he's ending abruptly."

whatever.