Finally, Part II:
Tim Tells Tale Tales Testily

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The basis for your question is valid. i do admit. And adjust.
but yet, for now, it has been a timely tale that time has not forgotten.
i am thirsty, therefore i drink.
from the cup that is cupping the wondrous cups.
cup it.

ooh baby, you know what that's worth

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do you know where you're going to? do you like the things that life is showing you? are you going to? do you know?
you know, everything has a beginning, a middle and an end. cliched,yes i am fuck you, but it's goddamn true.
look at your dead grandparents for example.
they are dead.
you are not dead.
see the difference?
being dead is fucking lame. i mean, dead people can't help being lame. because they're dead.
but shit, being alive rocks. i might as well do it as long as i can. remember the swiss cake rolls? things will be different once we have an extravaganza for all. and remember to shove that turtledove out, lest we may perish.
so sayeth the shepherd, so sayeth the flock.
fuck your grandma's favorite vase. she didn't know what was up anyway. did she really?
i'm sorry if your grandmammy is still kicking it and shit, cuz i don't mean to bug ya, like the edge, but still, grandmammy likes to kick that shit togethah. don't you know. you do. and you shall. buttress of creme de brulele plus cheese and gravy.
fuck chinese passenger trains.

you know what i'm saying. damn. and shit.
fudge pucking mud rucking for the lame at ill.
you know, things will be different once we reach the land of canaan. fuck childhood. the coat of many colors belongs to me, not joseph. your life is all a lie, based on false pretenses.
you also know that america is afraid of tom t. hall. suck that down and chew on it before biting.

so sayeth the shepherd.
so sayeth the flock.

go go go autocratic society!
go go go martial law!
go go go cabaret license enforcement!
go go go naked pygmie love!

shovels are available for those tho have completed passforms that are no longer part of the system. but if you ask don in hrfuckddrucker, you will killl him and his skills in short time. ah, if only i weren't so ham handed, i might miss my hyphenated cue.
fuck america.
fuck chocolate syrup dripping chocolate number atop tits is good. no more extraterrestrial soap.

thanks for being dead for awhile. don't worry you'll die again.
and again and again and again.
i begat bernard sumner, who begat alfred hotchkiss, who begat pater punter, who begat america.
thank you lovely children of the seefeel chocolate factory. based in britain, no doubt.
fudge is better than children.
the future does NOT belong to the children.
the future belongs to my pacifist leanings.
nor are you a member of my societal basis.
take that chatham!
maybe you had sex with the spinster.
she didn't tell me, for she is not with us.
nor is she with child.
even if she did have sex.
one does not begat the other, don't you know?
i thought you could tell me the name of my bicep purchaser.
i suppose not.
for you don't have bacon or children that are baked.
at least from my perspective.
pimps for damnation. start the debate.
hoota.

Finally

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As i've mentioned numerous times, drama follows me like a needy dog. I can't get rid of it. No matter how hard i try.

i am about to eat veggie corn dogs.
so you'll have to wait to read the rest in a minute.

even though to you, it'll be the next sentences. but to me, man, it's a longer time away from the messages of my youth.
pungent stench breathes life into old age homes for fun, profit and sexual innuendo. consult all supervisors before leaving your right-wing agenda with the attendant.
fuck swiss cheese. go go french cheese.

Shake Me

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it was 10:15 a.m this morning. the first feeling i had was a sudden onset of queasiness. then i felt like the table was moving, ever so slightly, but noticeably enough to make me stop what i was saying. then when i looked outside the office i was sitting in, i saw that the lights were swinging back and forth. ok, something was wrong.
then i heard somebody yell 'earthquake!' and i was like 'ahhh yes, that's what happening."

i was in the middle of an interview actually, the third person i talked to among seven people. he said i got a really weird look on my face, i must have felt it before he did, and he was wondering what he had asked me that was so wrong.

hilarious.
it was one of those longer, rolling earthquakes. not sharp jolts, which i've also felt before. the jolts are scary but are short. the rolling ones last much longer. i'd say yesterday's 6.0 earthquake (centered far south from here) lasted at least 30 seconds, which is a long time when you're experiencing it.

but hey, that's what happens in california.
i'd still take an earthquake over a tornado or hurricane.
i don't know why people say they're more freaked by earthquakes than anything else.
but ok.

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ever heard of restraint?
how necessary was this?
a woman talking loudly on her cell phone and cursing was fucking thrown to the ground, handcuffed and arrested. never mind that she's five months pregnant. we gotta stop that cursing!
fucking asshole cop bitches.
Loud cellphone call leads to arrest

Bush is the true Flip-Flopper - and a real dick to boot

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Flip-flopping charge unsupported by facts: Kerry always pushed global cooperation, war as last resort

Troops against Bush

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A strident minority: anti-Bush US troops in Iraq

Without drama, there would be no me

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...apparently.
fuck.
what is it about this time of year, a sense of foreboding almost. at least, it has been the last few years for me.

so yeah, there it is.
my current contracting gig is going to come to an end.
it's weird.
just fucked up. yet, strangely, there was a part of me that wasn't surprised by the news. i had a feeling something was amiss.
i've had these feelings before, you see, and i've been right.

i like to think my sensory perceptors are in tip-top shape these days, having suffered through seemingly endless, fun-filled 'parting of ways, at will', if you will.
william.
or as brigitte calls him, mr. F.
flavor flav that is.

have you seen that show? The Surreal Life? it's surreal all right.
goddamn.

i feel like Charlie Brown, i swear. Why is everybody always pickin' on me?
Aw Gee, indeed!

but hey, while i sometimes do get wallowed in the mire (hee), i somehow manage to find the sunny side of the street (ho) nearly every time. it's my destiny, luke.
so you see, somehow i'll emerge.
at least i know the endgame now.
now i can play it any way i see fit.
and so i shall.
and so we will.
and so.
yes.
right.

Riders of Rohan! Ride!
shit (golly)

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just call me a government agency junkie.
no less than three did i visit in two days.
yes, yes.
tis true, mr. sadr.

Et Tu, Brute?

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Bush has 'flip-flopped' much more than Kerry ever has. Not that i'm letting the GOP define my candidate. it's just unfortunate that a majority of Americans have picked up on the whole 'flip-flop' bullshit spewed by the pissant republicans. We'll see bitches, we'll see.

Both Candidates Often Shift Positions

and check it - the world is fed up with W. hilarious.
World Wants Bush Out of The White House: Poll

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so it's weird to be back from burning man. i was feeling a bit tired out but now i feel energized. for the most part, except for the fact my lips look like they've been invaded by cancer. i mean, herpes. same difference.
it fucking sucks. but at least now i have found someone i work with who has to go through the same bullshit i do whenever i am out in the sun too long. i get fever blisters/cold sores.
but thanks to this friend, who also gets them, she turned me on to Lysine, an amino acid that apparently people like us are lacking. cuz if we did have this fucking amino acid kicking ass in our bodies, i wouldn't be bitching about my cancer lip.
so yeah, lysine helps.
i'm going to order some on the internet.
also, acyclovir is a hearty deterrant. apparently you can buy those on the web too, though technically you're supposed to have a prescription. guess i'll have to figure something out. but i fucking want this shit the next time i get lip misery and head off possible problems.
oh yeah, i'm also supposed to coat my lips with zinc oxide. so i need to pick up some of that shit too. zinc oxide. yeah!
i'm not sure what sort of consistency zinc oxide has but i'm sure it's very nice.

they call me mellow yello, quite right-ly.

buttcake johnson, america is your friend