yeah, even i'm sort of afraid of what might happen if some fucking weapon drops here.
and shit, it could. i mean, it's not like i'm sitting here every day going "oh fuck, i better hide and get ready for armageddon."
on the contrary. as a coworker of mine recently said "we'll just figure out a way to deal with it if it happens."
and he's right of course.
sounds a bit trite, but the will to survive will win out.
so.
stick that in your pipe and blow it.

yeah.
tina's birthday weekend was a success. i must say.
the ouchy thing at pho 84 in oakland was great.
the whole restaurant went dead silent. it was awesome.
ouchy "i believe we have a date" or something.

the woman next to us "that's a sex clown or something. i hope she knows him."
yes, she was middle-aged.
but good natured nonetheless. ah, ouchy the clown. so funny.

the funniest part was after ouchy had "kidnapped" tina. everybody in the restaurant (it's fairly small) was buzzing, talking, looking at me. i was of course, calmly sipping my wine and waiting to pay the check.
even dan clowes (yes, the guy who did the "ghost world" graphic novel turned film) was there to witness it. ha!
indeed.

so yeah, it was fun. tina dug it for sure. and i managed to keep it a total surprise.

i met up with ouchy and tina later on at his pad in oaktown, not far from us actually.
yes, it's true. ouchy has a home and all that stuff.
ouchy has a posse.

fun fun fun.
neato.
so we hung with ouchy for a bit...actually we were over there the whole night. so great too because i managed to never divulge the secret, which is pretty amazing for a blabbermouth like me.
yep yep.
also scored a caterpillar/centipede (not sure which) loofa, which was funny, some lemon grass soap, some very interesting books (particularly "femalia" - google it) and other stuff.
she dug it.
saturday was chill time for both of us, as tina relaxed and fell a bit ill as well...more allergies/cold like shit.
i went to matthew herbert saturday night, which was amazing.
ok, not AMAZING as he is live (like in detroit last year or in SF a couple years back at the great american). but he's still better than most.

and i'm so not feeling a lot of the dj shit being thrown out these days.
it's all the same.
i mean, i LOVE to dj, but i don't like to dj like the normal peeps, playing the same fuckin' beat for two hours.
yeah, tough yo.

jus kickin it.

sheeeit.

well, back to tha matta at hand.
yesterday, we missed the war protest (i know, we suck) but hey, we had a birthday party to get to.
tina's bowling party at the presidio turned out to be a lot o fun.
a good crowd o peeps turned out fo tha event, i must say, and an interesting mixture at that, which i am always down for.
mix all these different people up, let them mix and watch what happens.

after bowling for dollars (i got a 164 in my second game, tina and i tied at 112 on the first and the third, i think i got 116 or 117 - seem i'm wildly inconsistent).

skin those furless melons

today was the day that i received some shit because of my small bladder.
see, i drank entirely too much in the way of beverages. i get that way sometimes. i am a beverage-a-holic.

drinking is my speciality. if i could consume all my daily vitamins and minerals necessary for survival via liquids, life would be a better place for me.
alas, it is hard.
so very hard.
yes.
hard.

today is the one-year anniversary of me falling while DJing at home and breaking my toe.
i could be the only DJ in modern history to have hurt myself so severly while spinning at home.

i have pictures.

back to the matter.
i'm currently working this temp job and the place i work at, well shit, people should be a LITTLE more laid back. come on now! it's a fucking music site!
chilllll.
on the other hand, these are the people that have managed to hang onto their jobs, so they should also be commended for their commitment. so done.
still, i had drank/drunk some coffee at home, then some more at work, then large coke at lunch which drank entire contents of, then scored a refill on the way out (you don't want to know where i ate. just know it wasn't mcdonalds, burger king or wendy's. it wasn't necessarily fast food but is still a fast food like chain. fuck).
a lot of beverages, as you can see. plus i keep a bottle of water nearby at all times, for periodic refreshment.
well, see, when you drink this much, you tend to have to pee more often too. and since i have a "weak bladder" (according to many of my friends and enemies), i am constantly hitting the head, as it were, more often than most.
so, being that it's um, this company, they have it set up like fucking Oz or some shit. i need a card to get back into the area where i'm working when i go to the bathroom.
because it's in a more public area, and since i am not a full-time worker but a lowly temp, with an extended assignment status..yay!...i don't even have a fucking badge at all.

this should be a lesson to me, not to drink very much at work.
i could try to pull the "let's go the bathroom together" trick with someone, but only women tend to do that, and since i'm not a woman, the conversation cannot continue as we step in front of our respective urinals and evacuate the excess liquid waste.

so this new woman is at the front desk. she's not my usual pal, jantine (yes, that's her name - dutch, i'm told), who usually lets me in and out for my lunch and restroom needs.

see, cuz i don't have an access card that can get me in.
i have to fucking call the front desk each day from the front door, via speakerphone.
but that's usually no problem.

google me.
fellow circle workers.
christ, i should not have eaten that gigantor burger earlier. but it felt right at the time.
see, this is my problem. constant regret. constant worrying. ugh! sucko mucho.

funny, i say a lot of things in my writer voice (like "ugh" or "darn" or "shucks, my dog ate my toothpaste") that i don't in real life.
this is more my real voice i believe.

talking is so 20th century.

peeing in the trough is always a good time, especially with ice.
phoenix does this. the irish pub on valencia. so not my scene. it was great.

cd burning never felt more important to me than it does right now.

the first day i worked at digital city, some white marina-looking business guy freaked out on this latino dude and threw coffee in his face. never saw that happen before. neat. sorry about the guy's face though. that could not have felt good.

where you at? give me love back.

ok, grandma, things in the last week didn't turn out exactly as i planned. but then again, when does my life ever follow a "plan."

fuck off, never.

currently listening to: boards of canada "sunshine recorder"

which makes perfect sense.

the dell dude got busted for buying pot in NYC. that is pretty stupid.
buying pot on the street? come on man. you can't afford to get some from a friend?
on the other hand, everybody really hates that kid, and people like to see celebs suffer, no matter what sort of celeb they are.

fucking bullshit i tell ya.

so i'm working again.
can you believe it?
i can.
because i am.
hardee har har.

does anybody remember burger Chef, a small and i'm guessing regional chain in the midwest in the 1970s?? somebody must know something, darn it!
i never say darn it out loud.
puto. now i'm enjoying some seefeel.

this is a friendly reminder to myself and to the 5-6 people who may be reading this right now (shouldn't you be procreating right now? remember, we've all got to do our part!!! fuck for jesus! fuck for america. don't use birth control. come inside. don't pull out. if you pull out, you're against america. and you better not be against america. satan hates america because we are such a god-fearing law-abiding fair nation for all. seriously. i'm seriously serious. right??? eh?? ok, maybe a bit of fibbing there.
i'm sure there are more than 5-6 people reading this right now. there's actually more like 30 to 999.3.
i'd love to be the .3) that i need to write about the night of the Santas and the following day and the pant story, as well as the jane's addiction evening. the halloween night. hmmm, buncho. see how this all worked out for us?

remember when things were different?
isn't it wonderful?
yes, it is.
heterosexual party tonight, all right!

exclamation points make the world go round.
not people.
people slow it down.
good thing we humans MUST procreate, so we can have MORE MORE MORE of us overrunning the earth and its dwindling natural resources.
see, i'm a fucking scientist.
how could you not believe me? plus, it's in print, which means something, ok?
it's not just fucking Handwritten.
pussy.

so yeah, spent much of the weekend hanging with a different crew. i've been doing that more of late. my pals nannette, pew and such.
they will pay.
not really.
back to england i suppose.
as cheech and chong once said, things are tough all over.
and we want to go to war.
fucking imbeciles.

back to england.
but yeah....we were at the art openings on friday.
the luggage store on market near 6th, always an enjoyable neighborhood. cracker ass crackers for me. hmmm, then down to mission for another opening, smaller.
then,...to that bar, not kilowatt...what was that place? shizen. we went to kilowatt third, after attempting to get into casanova but that was too packed. it was on 16th too., i believe.
saturday was spent hangin low then hitting the town night on the town.
culture cache, culture cache that was interesting....ol' tom thewes was there, keeping time, and such.
we can all be thankful for that.
that was odd. actually. the whole reference to carol marvin.
hmmmm.
odd.
but it was a fine evening nonetheless because we tried going to bottom o tha hill but it was sold out, i tell ya. so we drove down 17th and happen to zip by monique on the street, following her dance performance at the right spot. total random luck.
the name? The Rite Spot.
piano bar. i'd go back. cool. met some cool peeps too. to be honest, that part of it was a blur. here's to the vague blur.

when you're lost, i know how to change your mood.
when i'm down, you breathe life on me.

the great unknown.
not good. not mediocre. i love the way "mediocre' is spelled. it's neat with the "i" and the "o" and the grouping of "c" "r" and "e." nice combo.
thanks mr. webster.
we love you.

shoveler.
maybe my problem with my blog, besides the fact that it's incredibly self-referential, sometimes a reminder sheet for me as much as it is a diary, commentary, music updates and various drivel AND not updated regularly enough to sustain a substantial readership...besides all that shit, maybe the real problem is that it needs a cool, kick-ass name that's both topical AND funny AND features writing EVERY DAY and in little bite-size nuggets the whole smirking populace can enjoy.
how about "besmirch me bitch!"
nah, nobody knows about noah and that shit.
funny, i brought up ol' noah randomly last night in conversation whilst (see, i'm getting more british already) somebody mentioned 40 days or some shit about something that happened. the detail is not as important as what i have to say, ok?

jeeez.
yeah, so fucking noah, people were shocked, amazed and aghast at my biblical knowledge i was kicking and they shoved me around the room like a rag doll at an aerosmith concert in 1987. so later, watching yet another brilliant episode of the simpsons, it happened to be about homer suing the church after falling into a construction hole on their property and he went to court. they awarded him the church and he had a mega-day party there. it was awesome. culiminating, after incurring god's wrath with the desecration of the holiest of holy spaces ~~~yeah, it's a building but it's been BLESSED~~~~~~
with a huge flood, wherein all the partiers were forced up onto the roof of the church whilst a noah-looking fellow was cruising by, living large with all that hot animal love and the wives and concubines of all of noah's sons and shit.
man, there must have been all kinds of incestuous love on that ark.
shit, and it must have stunk too...well, they probably shat out the side.
god knows the king james version doesn't talk about what they did with the whole defecation issue. you'd think the bible would touch as much on everyday suggestions and problems like defecation, man-love, incest love, murdering of others because they like to dance around a fucking golden calf. man. leave them alone already.

maybe the israelites had a chip on their shoulder, they thought they were better than the rest. getting all pushy and shit.
also, why is it that jesus was a jew? and yet, christianity says now that judaism isn't right.
it's all weird.
i'd sure like to know the real story of jesus.
it's probably sooooo different.
not that it matters.

back to the ark - see, i'm convinced

i am an amazing driver.

we are me

see, that's what it's all about.
i am he as you are me as we are they and you are all together.
or something to that effect.
john lennon knows best, eh?

so i'm off to my temp job.
but i feel like something is igniting, something is burning, about to get more ferocious and hot.
in a good way, as long as channeled correctly.
pigs.

listen you fuckers

mine eyes of seen the coming of the burning of the fence
they are torturing all the witnesses and making them all tense
they are fucking up the scenery with their pathetic little whines
my truth is marching on....

see, we can all be singers in the kingdom of the Ford.

did you know that right now it's 5:20 p.m. and i'm sitting up high, near the sky, don't know why, think i might not die
bye
hi

yes, it's true.
i seem to suffer from afflictions undetectable to the human throat. or face.
you think i jest but i doeth not jest.

out of a hazy cloud of drugs, this way i do come.
all these years, you've been waiting for this.
you, the people i don't know.
you, the people who don't know me.
but soon will.
very soon.

see, it has to begin somewhere. this story. this pack of lies and nonsensical bullshit. these musings of the heart, garnering at least a chuckle or two before going back to the dullard reality of life.
see, we have to create something more.
we, meaning we, you, I, us, everyone, no one, the collective entity that we call human beings.
we have to create something beyond our normal framework, piecing it together in a way that pleases us, especially when we have those fond memories of "looking back."
ah but see therein lies the conundrum, every second is a memory.
every moment that passes becomes fodder for conjecture. so then, everything becomes the past, except what is to come, which we don't know.
unless of course we could travel through time, which, i have been obsessed with my whole life.
we'll get to that later though.

so here it is, as i am writing this, monday, february 3, 2003, at 5:25pm.
but it's all ephemeral. nothing lasts. well, things last of course, since i'm speaking in super vague terminology here. but for the sake of argument...and in the grand scheme of things, truly ...NOTHING LASTS forever.
despite everything we say and hope.

time, such an odd concept. a human way to record shit, a human-devised way to ensure we can record anything that happens.
see this gets back to my thoughts about as humans, we have this instinctual need to record everything we see do maybe in the hopes that this will somehow affect and/or help/teach people in the future.
or provide a snapshot of what life was like in the here and now, which wont' be the here and now even when you read this.

see, how this is all circular psychobabble bullshit?
ha
double ha
triple ha

pass the potatoes please.

currently listening to: Ben Wa - "Devil Dub" - local peeps. it's pretty good.

and there's your 10 minutes of writing for you.
though it would seem as though i've got about 30 seconds left to write about something.
hmmm, what could it be.
that i still am really really stoked about my new private computer space? yes, yes, i am.
yes.
yes. and yes.
!!!!

love and delicious snack cakes,

Gary B. Bunkka