Tuesday, July 01, 2003

Written monday, june 30
10:18 a.m.

this is how it should be done mother fuzzer.

ok, so i've listened to several albums and/or singles this morning that already are huge hits or are destined to be very soon.

Or we have those albums and artists that are SUPPOSED to be the next big thing.

Some are surprisingly pretty good.

and I can't believe i'm even saying that.

I should say...Good, in the sense that the producers behind the work are the ones that should really be commended because they're in charge of how the artist sounds.

Justin Guarini - This is that mop-topped turd who was the runner-up to the first "American Idol" and my hatred for him hasn't subsided. He has two new singles to generate buzz for his new self-titled album. the first single, "Sorry," is the one that's pretty good but it's all super-high-cost glossy production, much in the same vein as Justin Timberlake's solo shit. Stutter-step beats, with whispery vocals in the background accentuating his meandering warble and a slinky dance groove. like i said, not bad.
second is a cover of "Unchained Melody" and it's as horrible as you'd think, something your parents would dig...or a way to generate memories of 1990's Ghost in which Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze fucked around with clay. only thing is now i can understand more of the lyrics i could before, since he's SUCH an enunciator.

Hilary Duff "So Yesterday" - though she's only like 15 or some shit and is the queen of the Disney Channel-watching set, Duff is already being primed as the next combo pop star/movie star. She is being targeted to look much older (check out the movie posters of her film if you don't believe me), but that doesn't play a role in her inane forgettable single "so Yesterday." it's so pop fluffy, i forgot what it sounded like the minute i took the cd out of my cd player. big production, dealing with spurned love or something, big chorus.

Christina Aguilera "Can't Hold us down" (feat. Lil' Kim)
slyly funky, overproduced (a given), this song is about female empowerment, the classic tale that women who like sex are whores and men who fuck a lot are studs. hence, the inclusion of sexpot (ha!) Lil' Kim, who really adds nothing to the song.
in fact, the song seems to end too quickly, before it should be done. slight.

michelle branch hotel paper - reminds me of the overproduced pap of every other power pop female singer out there. lots of big guitars, compressed drums, big vocals up front, forgettable lyrics, et all.

Yet, there are signs of at least the producers knowing a thing or two about good powerful hooks. so far, i really dig "Are you happy now," a big pop rock single that brings to mind evanescence (no shit) without the goth or metal element, and "love me like that," which cool picking acoustic guitars pumped way up in the mix and a driving head-nodding rhythm. the rest are disposable pap, thus far.

much of the inclusion of the guitar seems to be on purpose, as a way to give branch more cred or something. organ too. reminds me of liz phair's new one somewhat. that's not a good thing mr. poopy-pants.
i love "are you happy now." the little piano in the background, the strong punch of the guitars and drums, ..."would you look me in the eye? could you look me in the eye?" it's got a great hook. and of course, the rest of the album doesn't sound like that song.
strong start to an otherwise boring album.
too bad really.

Legally Blonde 2 soundtrack - lots of female empowerment songs about going against the odds and standing up for what you believe in, making a difference in the face of adversity. i can kind of predict how this movie will go just by hearing the soundtrack.
featuring LeAan Rimes, superchic(k), deluxx folk implosion "i'm just a bill" (from the schoolhouse rock soundtrack...crapola), only good songs are eurythmics' "sisters are doin' it for themselves" with aretha franklin, because it seems to fit so damn well in this context; somebody named Soul Kid #1 in "More Bounce (In California)" (a nice disposable pop song); the candy skins' "for what it's worth" a cover of the stephen stills song this version is from 1991, featuring a sped up loop of rolling stones "oh fuck...what the hell is that..."please allow me to introduce myself a man from ...who shot the kennedys".oh yeah, it's "Sympathy For The Devil..ending with other uplifting songs as john lennon's "power to the people" (which i find funny since lennon would have never agreed to be in this), Lou Reed's "america" and ending with a reprise of leann rimes' "we can" written by diane warren. who is this woman who writes hit after hit after hit??

"now everybody's by the pool tweaking out on...."
hilarious..they edited this line above from "more bounce (in california)"...probably ecstasy.


Rolling with the Homies and other shinola
driving around west oakland saturday afternoon, it was amazing to hear 50 cent playing randomly from various houses, cars, etc. seriously, i heard it four or five different times, all listening to 50 cent. he really is fucking huge.

saw my first sideshow thursday night, after meeting with the pals about saturday night's debut gig at Li Po. on san leandro st., spinning car. funny.
spinning car in the middle of the street, kicking up lots of steam from the tires. nobody was watching, as far as i could tell and the streets were pretty deserted. of course, no oakland police were around. fat chance mother fucker.

last night's "sex in the city" (aka 'sex in the shitty' as one friend calls it) was without a doubt, probably the worst episode i've ever seen of the show. my god, it was painful. worse than a bad sitcom that's gone on a few seasons too long. that bad.


Things i Hate -- and/or -- People who should be publicly flogged this week

- bossy people that try to act like they're better than the lowly restaurant people. "We're in sort of a hurry." oh really, only "sort of"? pushy snotty bitch. i'll push you.

- those lame ass default rings on certain cell phones, thanks once again to pushy snotty bitch. the ring that's the most common. hey, you ever heard of vibrate?

- while driving in a car: pedestrians.
- while a pedestrian: cars.

- people that congregate in packs on the sidewalk. move out of the fucking way dumbstruck middle aged midwestern cupcakes.

- people that don't walk as fast as me. pushing is in order.

- the old man in the speedo and bed sores at pride yesterday.

- people who go by the name "silky."

- Liz Phair: i hate her new album so. i guess we all had higher expectations of ms. phair. pathetic really.

- Larry Ellison: what a fucking worm. take over every company jack-ass. yeah. greed is good. lap it up. stomp the little people.

- Little Steven: just so i can see why he's always wearing that damn bandana. i hated him as bruce springsteen's sidekick. it's weird that he's in The Sopranos

- people who wear butterfly wings on their back

- people who wear Pride beads. just because you're proud to be gay doesn't mean you it's an excuse to look tacky�

However, i did like the large african-american woman sporting both the male and female symbols, along with the line "Done Both."
Kudos ma'am.

And i really liked the show on comic books on the History Channel last night. for the first time, stan lee and comic books are getting respect. strange.

Of Note:
- the forearm band things are getting pretty popular among the hipster electro/80s set. i should specifiy: predominantly chicks. though in that scene, everyone is androgynous.

katherine hepburn died yesterday at 96. she was pretty cool. she had spunk. i liked her in on golden pond.

gregory peck died last week. he was cool too, especially as ol' Atticus Finch in To kill a mockingbird.

no fudge for you ankle sweater upper.

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