Remember This Guy?

He's Dead

He was a fine old gentleman. He was in many shows and films.
He was Jerry Seinfeld's original father in the first season of the show.

And would you like fries with that?

For all you people that like to grab a #1 Value Meal at McDonald's after an evening at the bar, it would be wise to take pause. And consider your other options, or take a chance on enjoying a bloody Band-Aid in your delicious fries.

People are getting larger

it's true. A new U.S. Body Survey tells the full story.

Just So We're Clear...

OK, so in our culture, it's fine to take young children to see what is being billed as a "bloodbath" and "extremely brutal" film, as long as it's about the death of a religious figure, Jesus; but it's not at all OK for an impressionable child to see an uncovered breast for about 1 second on national TV during a not-exactly nonviolent sports event.

The same culture in which we attempt to sugarcoat things like 10,600 children being sexually abused by priests in the last 50 years (and you know that's a low number) but act like we really do care about the children by criticizing easy targets like "the media" and "television" for destroying their moral fabric or say that gays are threatening the sanctity of marriage, whatever the fuck that means.

A society that (rightfully) expresses shock and horror after a teen parent beats his 2-year-old child to death for playing with his PlayStation 2 game. (--- I think it's high time we start requiring people to pass a test before they're allowed to become parents. But oh no! all life is precious, remember? i saw a bumper sticker today that summed it up well: "Remember, you're unique - Just like everybody else") ---- But the thing is, many of the same conservatives who express outrage at the child's death would be the first to condemn abortion as murder, the first to say that poor people are just lazy and don't need more funding for schools or education because they're taking advantage of the government. Hmmm, maybe this couple should not have been allowed to become parents. See, conservatives don't like to deal with babies once they're born. Then, it's in God's hands. The unborn are so much more important because they're cute, in a cellular amoeba-sort of way, and they have yet to sin, so that makes them pure! They're not part of Satan's minions yet and Christians see it as yet another soul to be saved. Whoo hoo!
See how this all comes together?

OK, I'm glad to know we've figured out some of these things today.

Noise Pop ruminations
The Passion of the Indie Kids' Christ

I've seen former Sierra Club Prez Adam Werbach two consecutive nights, first at the Noise Pop Opening Party at Thee Parkside, toting his young child with him, much like several other Noise Popians Tuesday. All the baby mania prompted one girl to exclaim, "It must be 'Bring your Baby, Get a discount on your drink" Night."
In fact, it was.

Anyway, Mr. Werbach was also at the Unicorns last night, at GAMH. I saw him only for a second. But (full disclosure) I did interview him in 1996 or 1997, when i was working at the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette.

The Unicorns were a whole lot of fun, very lovable and highly entertaining. I haven't laughed that much at a show in a while. They definitely provoke a reaction out of people, as they stop and start and falter on the stage, occasionally bothering to actually play songs for the people.
Some people were annoyed at their pokiness but i loved them all the more for it.

We spotted American Music Club's Mark Eitzel and cohorts out at the Opening Party as well. It seemed like there were a lot of people "in the know" at the Tuesday event. Kinda uppity. the unicorns was a little less of that. definitely a pretty young crowd too.

Leave your potatoes with the attendant.

I also could swear i spotted author and SF Gate's political columnist Stephen Elliott at the Unicorns last night. Or at least, someone that looked like him. And according to his campaign blog, he's in California now. I'm a new convert to Mr. Elliott, who also writes a hilarious column, The Poker Report, for McSweeney's.
It certainly looked like him anyway.
Good times, good times.

I start my new job tomorrow.
i am happy i got a day off today.
due to important stuff you can't find out about.

leave me alone or i will hunt you down with my shoe.
Like Nikita Kruschev at the United Nations.
Bang Bang.

sundries that contributed to this report:

1. Songs (in reverse order):

"Joker James" - The Who (Quadrophenia)
"Apple" - Cibo Matto (Viva! La Woman)
"More Future" - Pop Deluxe (A Touch of Class Sucks!)
"Ferris Wheel" - Common (Electric Circus)
"Interview with Quincy Jones #3" - Michael Jackson (Thriller)
"Another Girl's Paradise" - Tori Amos (Scarlet's Walk)
"Pure Love" - Byzar (Incursions In Illbient)
"Come Together" - Ike & Tina Turner (Soul Tribute To the Beatles)
"Wife (Pieces of Detroit Mix by Prefuse 73) - Phil Ranelin (Hefty Records: Sample This)
"A.N.G.E.L. (Reprise)" - Dwele (Subject)
"Prairie Dog" - Laika (Sounds of The Satellites)

2. Silver Haze, Cannabis Club

3. Fair Trade Blend, Peet's Coffee

4. Calistoga Mountain Spring Water

5. Paperclip

6. Stacked quarters

7. Plastic bag

8. Dayton Fuel-Trimmer Heater

9. General Electric 100 Watt bulb

10. 1% Lowfat Milk

things i enjoyed today

** my last day of work at a very very large web company's music division. i genuinely liked working there and will miss all the exposure to the nonstop music juggernaut (hi tina b!), but a guy's gotta do more than exist/barely get by/tread water/whathaveyou. change is indeed good.

** free latte from my boss. i'll miss our good conversations. she is a very cool woman, along with all my other co-workers over there holding the fort down in content. ah, i'm getting all wistful.

*** experiencing the joys of intense flooding on 16th street, causing me to walk several blocks out of my way to get to work. i was of course, late. but man, i don't think i've ever been involved in such intense flooding. pretty damn crazy. i attempted to walk through it but i was stopped at 16th and folsom. i tried walking in the middle of the street, hoping i could get through with the cars (i did not give a fuck - i walked right in front of cars, i was not gonna be stopped...but i was. damn you mother nature. fucking bitch, she is, sometimes...hee hee).
i thought i was smart by heading up to s. van ness and crossing over on 17th, but no way man, no way. my god, i saw several cars with water up to their door handles!!! that BMW owner was unlikely to have been pleased about the situation.
and did i mention the insane wind gusts?
50-60 mph at some points. it whips you around like a twig. a damn good reminder how insignicant one human being can be in the grand scheme of things. you are spittle. i gave up on my umbrella after awhile.
i saw many, many umbrella casualties today. they lost. the only reason my piece of shit umbrella wasn't among the dead was i heeded the advice of my trusty weatherperson, who warned last night that umbrellas would do you no good in this wind. alas, i don't own a windbreaker. maybe that will have to change.
soon enough.

** not knowing where to go after getting off the bart at civic center, and ended up doing a huge loop near city hall. i was gearing up for some nasty barbs exchanged with the fools from kansas holding signs that say "God hates fags" and other loving religious paraphernalia. alas, it was just a happy group of people celebrating the union of two of them. i shouldn't say alas. but i was gearing up for some fun-filled verbal antics.
another day.

****
a new plateau was reached today.

no, not even the 50mph wind gusts and violent rain, nor the subsequent flash floods on, this, my very last day at aol ... probably forever.

this afternoon, i saw an actual LIVE ROOSTER just hanging out outside a Burger King (8th & market), atop what was probably a homeless person's pack.
a real live cock, big one too, just checking everyone out that was walking by.
i only noticed it because all the hipsters were gathered around it, taking pictures of each other next to the damn thing.

so yeah.

random cock sighting in the city.

gotta love this town.
be aggressive, be be aggressive.

hand on butt

***that guy walking directly in front of this suv, who flipped off the driver after she beeped her horn at him.
yes sir.

pretty damn funny


a mash-up of Public Enemy and Herb Albert, once again swiped from the SF Indie List. But it's not my fault there's a lot of hilarious links up there.

hi-larious, mister.

I"m listening to the new Zero 7. It's sounding really good. I'm liking it thus far.

Sigh.

Be Aggressive, be, be aggressive

that's right, dear friends in monotheistic america.
be aggressive.
and be optimistic, that we can achieve regime change and kick Bush's ass back to Texas.

The Bush Administration reeks of desperation right now. It's so strange. But so delightful. We just need to somehow make it through the rest of the year, leading up to election day. But signs are getting better that Bush is in real trouble.

do not forget to vote.
drill it in your skull.

pray to your favorite god in the sky. look down where he lay.

the little lord jesus, asleep on the hay.

then it's back up on the cross for you.

gentle ben is dead.

When does being happy about the new year end?

Today I heard a man wish another man an enthusiastic "Happy New Year!" near the 16th & Mission BART stop and I had to stop and take pause.
And so i did.
I thought, "hmmm, that seems odd to hear someone still wishing people happy new year three weeks into February."

When does it become too late to wish happy new year? What's the cutoff point?
And should we all, as a society, agree on this together?
Or should it just be one of those unwritten rules.

It's all very confusing.
Damn.

Mikey rules

Just a nice little email i got from my friend Mikey the other day.
the unknown wise dog.

>>>this is some dog i see on the street. I've emotionally adopted
him...
although I consider him an equal.