Friday, April 26, 2002

aching for snatch

in this time of struggle, where is club nouveau when you really need them?

hogan's heroes was never funny.
in fact, it sucked.

richard dawson's main claim to acting fame.
yes, i know he did family feud.

vast conspiracy awaits you.

elephant breath.

my coffee is empty.

anybody see the trailer for 'scooby doo?'
now THAT looks like a fine feature film.
it might be as good as "glitter" or "al queda boy go home"

shake your moneywaster, beckett.

smell me.
i'm famous.

today is arbor day. do you know where your children are?
do you know where your childless cabin is?

have to tell you i'm going to be working with Jonah Sharp as the potential new editorial director for his label called Prototracks.
not paid as of right now, but the opportunities are incredible. i'll be in charge of all the editorial copy that goes into the cd, which come out bimonthly. it's kind of like what CMJ does, releases a cd each month of underground material...i should say, what they USED to do. they suck now. anyway, this would be all underground labels from all over the world. i'll be working with jonah on figuring out how the bands and labels would be profiled and represented in the booklet. i'm in charge of either writing and/or editing (there's going to be like three contributing writers, and i'll probably write some too). basically, there's like 12 or so tracks, each artist getting a 150-word profile, as well as each label represented getting a 150-word profile. and any intros that have to be written.
this could be huge visibility for me AROUND THE WORLD and help me make even more contacts. this will also help me in my writing career, as i'll have an inside track to forthcoming electronic music. and of course, this also helps my dj career as well, since i'll be able to receive all this music months in advance.
things ARE happening.

i "won" a free ticket to groove armada last night. i "won" via nitevibe, the site i wrote a WMC story about and also who i went with for the group rate on my ticket.

groove armada was kind of a sham. they advertised it as them being live with a 9-piece band. instead, they DJed, with ONE live player on fucking bongos.
luckily, many from the miami nitevibe crew were there, so i had fun anyway. in fact --- in yet another thing i could conceivably do -- Sam from Nitevibe wants to get together to talk about doing some editorial work for them...but paid. i told him i have an intense schedule but it'd be more just random shit...which i like to do anyway, like making fun of shows where they advertise a 9-piece band and it's two gawky brits spinning records for $35 a head.

and yes, the crowd was pretty much appalling. there were times i wanted to stab forks in the eyes of some of the lovely folk there but of course, i would never engage in such violent behavior.
i can dream, though.
this one hippie turd bumped into my head like three times. first time, i gave the "it's ok" nod; second time, just a glare; third time, i said "dude, will you fucking watch your hands? you've hit me in the head three times!" he did his hippie shrug, as if "i'm just here swinging my arms around having fun. aren't you?"
then he stepped on my foot, so i did the random elbow to the chest and got him pretty good.

then he stepped on this little asian girl's foot next to me and she looked like she wanted to split his head in two with a machete. at this point, pretty much everyone around him wanted that. then she called him a "stupid hippie motherfucker."
i would have bet that if hippie boy would have collapsed on the ground and started convulsing at that time, nobody would have helped him.

speaking of turds, the most telling thing about groove armada was the stench.
seriously, somebody kept on farting at the show and you could smell it everywhere. definite stink-ass. like, it was so bad, people were visbily gagging. no it wasn't me.
and it was the same stench.

but i stink now.

naked beckum

today, lisa left eye lopes died.
don't go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes like you used to.

does this mean the TLC reunion album is still going to happen?

now the group will be known as TC.

at least i'm available for questioning.

good afternoon.

your crime-ridden neighborhood,

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