shafter prison sec --- pad ped blues

hi there and let me know what i can do for you.
a baby who hasn't even been born yet won our ncaa basketball pool at work.
i'm doing an interview with her later today.
Gwen is her name.

how can an unborn child win?
the pro life camp would have a field day with this one.

and speaking of camp, i sure do look campy today. i'm wearing a western style tablecloth type tableau, checkerboard green and white...fight fight.
matching up with some stellar polyester graybeard pants.
looking special, i yam.
i hate yams.
i hate popeye the sailor man even more.

fuck popeye.

a woman just blew bubbles in the lobby for the children, everything for the children.
bubbles keep following me around.
and now i'm sucking on echinicea.
bully for me.
that's what the former drummer from superchunk told me that one night at a party: bully for you that you left the midwest, with all the sincerity of a hollywood agent.
yeah, and i hope you lose you arms in a not-so-bizarre farming accident in the high sierras. may the donner party take you away from this place.

as i waited in line at peets coffee this morning, about to enjoy a hearty beverage, i couldn't help but think about all the important things in life, such as laughing at other people in line that weren't as cool, admiring the high ratio of lesbian employees at that particular store on montgomery, and realizing that america is seeing the decline of the mocha.
nobody drinks mochas anymore. do they? nobody. people have moved on to lattes and pure espresso, as well as americanos and other type shite.
too much chocolate and too much powdered chocolate has doomed the mocha.
not even the white chocolate mocha can save the mocha.
i say fuck the mocha.
i'm going to write a story and find out the truth.
people need to know such inconsequential things.
i mean, people don't give two shits about what the us government is doing in the rest of the world as we go through phase 2 of our world domination plan.
so, let's at least write something that people will care about and argue over at the watercooler.

all right little man, you're up and i've got the bubbles still, ready to go.
actual quote just uttered.
the history of the world is forever changed.
somebody needs a lap dance - something no mother will ever say to their son.

"hey, what's the big idea."
another wonderful mommy quote.

talking about child bigness
"my guy is on the other end of the spectrum" - bubble woman

oh and finally, i saw a woman mouth "bitch" to herself after this blond woman passed really close to her.
then again, she could have been talking about someone she was thinking of.
or she could have had one of those weird cell phones with the mic on her lapel.
i hate those.
or she simply thought i was a bitch. but she wasn't looking in my direction.

someday, carrot top will get the recognition he deserves.

i'm down with butt cleavage.
i've seen the crack of others. and it was good.

"boys are not fun."