san jose is officially idiotville.
thank god the people i work with are cool.
longer letter later.

so then you hit his head against the curb?"
overheard by a group of san jose cops at pizza joint across the street

random rules

my party on friday night was seriously out of fucking control. first at kell's. then a cab over to andrew's place on 16th and castro for some definite debauchery. rockin, rollin, wheelin, dealin, healin, sealant, freedom rock man, so turn it up.
lots of pics too.
saturday was sleep till 2 p.m., be lazy, get music together, go to big ass party for garage mahal. enjoy self. play music for nobody there. still have fun. do things :) work the water/red bull tip. be amazed at the crazy cash cow that it is.
holy fuck, and hail mary.
sunday, sleep till 3 p.m., watch startup.com be amused, and then actually exit room at 5 p.m.
happy happy.
monday, sleep in a bit, actually finish demf story for xlr8r super super super late. cry and pull hair.
shoot a musket.
live long and prosper.
hook up with mr rolls at the dotcom shopping mall.
go to zeitgeist and get bbq stuff that makes you shit/stink later. badly.
start work first day on tuesday.
be blown away.
best way to sum up first day is to listen to shaun escofferey's "days like this" on marques wyatt's new mix cd. i'll find out the exact name but it's on OM and it came out in may.
rock steady.
go see jeff karp at his new home that he just bought and marvel that he still lives in the fucking garage. literally. he doesn't even have a bathroom but he does have a lot of ants.
he has no bathroom. but he does have his dsl installed.
he has no bathroom. he pees in the backyard of a place that he owns yet rents the house out and sleeps in the garage.
did i mention on monday we saw a fellow near like 7th or 8th in SF walking in the crosswalk with a suitcase on his head.
yes, a suitcase on his head.
it was odd. yes.
this morning, here in the lovely city of san jose, i saw a whaler walking down the street in stretch pants wearing a very large sombrero. i was quite afraid.
this morning i went to espresso garden.
it is now 10:44 a.m.
happy happy happy.
joy joy joy
shudder.

keep it on

i wish i had a horn section to go with me wherever i go. they could reflect my many moods and carry me through the rough spots.
i am a mammal and a mamman and proud of it.
get off my back and intestines.
i need them.
good luck when you're alive.
your friend,
dead simon

Eating is highly overrated and a waste of time

i'm going to write a blazing essay on what i think is killing the human race - eating.
this isn't about people who are overweight and should eat less, but eating in general.

if i could stop eating forever, i would. it's a complete waste of time, it's a bitch to work off, you're always having to worry about what you eat, people obsess about food constantly, women like/need it apparently even more than men do, it fucks up your teeth, it costs too much money, it's destroying our health care system because it's too bogged down trying to stop all the negative shit of eating - nothing good comes from eating. we're constantly trying to combat the consequences of what we eat. fuck that struggle. it's bullshit.

people might say "oh, it's the natural order of things." how so? everything we eat today is processed and loaded up with all sorts of chemicals. how is that natural?
people might say "oh, but it gives us energy." yeah, so do a lot of vitamins.
people might say "oh, it might really hurt the restaurant industry. And the toilet industry too." Too bad. Survival of the fittest.
people might say "oh, but eating makes me fit." really? then why are you still popping loads of vitamins and various supplements each day?

give me a pill with all my nutrients, give me an IV, mix it into my water ...something.
i can accept limited quantities of some fruits and the occasional snack of various items, but not much else.

eating sucks.
The negative aspects clearly outweigh the positives.
you heard it here first.

prepare for the onslaught.

have a WONDERFUL day.

kay?

timmmmmmi

"mad about new things, so you don't have to be"

where is terence trent d'arby when we need him the most?

oh and i LOVE the BART system.
people wonder why some avoid public transportation.
here's an idea - get the trains there on time!
fuckin a. this morning, the 8:20 train simply didn't show up.
so instead what should have been two trainloads of people is packed into one train....lovely.
i love smelling armpits of other nasty peeps. yeah.
(i know, i know..i could be in tokyo...but i'm not, so screw you).
hello...to get people out of their precious cars, you have to make the public trans more reliable and workable.
i got there extra early today so i could get into work early and instead i get there later than normal because of the delays.
idiotic.
i blame the people who originally built this system because they obviously didn't plan ahead to think about, oh, i dunno, population increases??
my god.
think.
nobody thinks.
people people people.

life, our precious commodity.
only $19.99 before tax, surcharges and tips.

and you have a wonderful day on Earth!
while you still can.

people sure are smart
ok, lessee, scooby doo is the number one film.
a lone woman started the colorado wildfires because of being pissed about a letter from her ex-husband and decided to burn it in drought conditions.
we have yet another suicide bombing in israel, this one killing 20 people, because we refuse to attempt to try and solve this problem...in fact, we exacerbate the problem.
idiot talking heads worry more about who the voice is behind the pets.com sock puppet than they do telling the public important news.
"ha ha ha, oh that sock puppet, i can't wait till he comes back...oh and by the way, a plane crashed yesterday somewhere in northern california. we don't know where or why but here's this gory footage of the plane exploding....ha ha ha ha ha oh that rascally sock puppet."

meanwhile, uptown, the dj appears...

hi. human beings can be really fucking pathetic.
especially we self-serving americans.
"fuck global warming! i just want to fill up my SUV so i can go trample on precious wildlife preserves and show my lovely children that God wants us to use all of our natural resources first before all the evil non-americans of the world. so what if i leave a little trash behind? that's for the working class pathetic individual forced to be in a shitty job such as this. it's their fault they're poor. now let's go get a decaf latte, shall we?"

yeah, we're real caring.
fuck W, our fake president (i refuse to ever address this idiot individual as our "president" because he isn't).

and you have a wonderful day, cake boy.

people without teeth look funny.
that's what i say.

i can't believe i'm listening to The Cult's "Love" from like 1910. damman.

i'm going to miss the gratuitous butt crack shots from random strangers when i start working in san hosay. damman.

i'm very angry about sidewalk waverers. the people who, when you try to pass them, speed up and move toward you thereby making it more difficult to pass them by.
i've had to take charge and push them down several flights of stairs before.
where is the happy-go-lucky flashing nurse when you need her? i love nurse. she's awesome. also completely bonkers.
funny that her name is jessica. she seems more, nurse. and she seems like a little kid, which i can dig on.
nurse rules.
more on sidewalk waverers in our later broadcast.
back to your crying game.

i have jamba juice orange mango zoom and you don't.
so rue me.
sue me.
beat me.
seat me.

cockamammie mamman.

scooby doo made $56 million this weekend.

what an embarassment. i feel ashamed to be a human.

fuck steamboat willie.
i prefer steambath surge.

i went to dj shadow last tuesday. it was so fucking good, i nearly poon farmed.
seriously, amazing how well it was put together.
and so glad it was homemade, like chester mcfeester.
on sunday.
in heat.
for your love and hold you tight.
hotline hotline
did i ever talk about me talking my way into david cross on tuesday, june 4? after my interview, when i was already feeling hyped from the kick ass interview.
way cool jr.
i went to the winston smith opening last thursday night at 111 minna...smith being the fellow who makes all those awesome art collages, and we bought two prints, one as a gift for another fine couple who have made out acquaintance.
thursday also included a meeting at the space down in potrero to set up for the garage mahal party june 22, of which, i'm opening dj. yammer.
and, there was also the item of hooking up with the long lost mr. rolls at the event involving winston smith. fun fun fun in the city.
gracious me, i'm alive and dead and ready to kill small children with my deadbeat eyes.
and gravy.
speaking of,,,, 60s counterculture activist and woodstock host wavy gravy was kicking it live at the winston smith gathering. as i mentioned to all my colleagues in the USSR, he looks like a giant cabbage patch doll.
yes'm.
funny funny. crazy little thing called love.
and there was that other fine gentleman wearing the top hat and donning a cape...
(did i mention right now i'm listening to the inauspicious sounds of Axiom Ambient, from 1994? oldie but a goodie. i went through my cds yesterday and found i had some that were gasping for air....all i know is, these are the soul cages.)
i have one week left and i'm already steeped in bullshit due to tim pratt procrastination, so i'll have to make this short and sugary.
nomskull.
noam chomsky fucked elephantitus licker stickers.
the gentleman wearing the cape, we first encountered him last day of the dead in the mission, preaching to the faithful some sort of scary story. i like that guy. he's very intriguing. i'll have to run into him again somewhere. seems like it is my destiny.
it is your destiny.
still need to see spider-man and star wars and minority report is coming up soon too. i need love.
scratch, i still need to see that. i'm more behind than a whaler going up the stairs.
i'm more behind than that Ride song.
instead of making love, we play head games.
stinketh, i do.
stinketh, you should.
moaning and groaning and whining and pouting, it's a wonder you get any work done amidst all your hometown suffering.

i saw black hawk down last night.
shot really well...story...eh....i was like 'enough fucking war'
but then we watched the making of and all the soldiers were english or australian. it was odd...ewan mcgregor trying to do an american accent...simply awful....unbelievable how bad he was.
but like they were all brits....playing elite american soldiers. it was strange.
penman told me it's easier for foreigners to adopt a southern drawl because it requires the least amount of concentration.
penman is sending his parents tickets for a cruise from australia to here as a gift.
shoveler.
sam totally did not understand my email about chwing the same cud. i think i got it wrong but oh well. at least i'm still an american.


feckless and still smoking jackets.

oh man, on june 6..after a smooth cocktail party at mr. ted.'s house, where they always serve the finest mojitos and i met a neato former music editor to pygmies in heat, i went to lingba in potretro hill for a last minute spin and lo and behold, therein was the burbon.
i met these crazy israeli girls..they were pretty hardcore. hard and core.
the girl's name was Esti, short for Esther, which is a book of the bible and a fine fresh scent, much like irish spring.
did you know guinness beer has been brewed since 1759 in dublin.
it's amazing what you learn these days from reading the bathroom walls.
urinating and educating never felt so good.
that could be a catchphrase, if phrases still existed.
which they to don't.
so fuck you you transitive verb.

last sunday was PANDS, which, unless you're piggie and schimmie, you won't understand what that means. so screw all you nonbelievers.
but man, were those red pants sensational.
almost as sensational as those pictures i saw of young chelsea being a bit drunk in london town. where the bridges are falling down.
unlike michael douglas.

we've all got brass tacks to fill.
dennis came up this weekend.
fire in the hole.
he enjoyed america.
friday kinda sucked for the talk of the town was so not its name. shady and lame.
yucko degrasso.
munodo
saturday was fun in the city, roaming rhyming stealing and healing.
then it was on to the bbq at the toad/canned ass household saturday night.
rocking it was.
that nurse sure is a spitfire.
and she wears a slip for natural wear.
she's a fine woman.
and a lady.
nothing more than feeling.s
three times a mady.
budgetary cuts force me to interfere with you.

and you have a nice scanner!

your patron saint of jack-inthe-box

basic shame candlestick

what does it say about me when i'm more upset about the death of former ratt guitarist robbin crosby than i am about the death of dee dee ramone.

ok, upset is a strong word. affected might be better.

last night i felt like i was in a bret easton ellis novel.

this week has been fucking crazy, crazy, crazy.

i met esti from tel aviv, israel, after spinning at lingba on thursday night..that following a healthy conversation exchange with that fellow who used to work with ted, who was a music editor.

tuesday was the interview, frenzied that it was, along with me deciding to hit david cross show after all, and talking my fucking way into the show.
yeaaah.
grandma.

wednesday, seems like i didn't rock it....hmmmm, and monday....it's been so warm all week.
there were those cool birds chilling in the sun at the park on our lunch.
there was the healthy cranky exchange with jerome at the other park after the B's hittation stop on columbus.
specs yeap. grandma chicken.
toooooooooo.

i'm so annoyed with this headline in usa today: eventually eminem must overcome self-absorption...
or here's another one....reporters must overcome celebrity-absorption....get over it...why are you so obsessed about what these artists do and how they operate? isn't that part of the joy? the mystery? the weird darkness that most of us don't dare confront?
it's a "live through you" kinda vibe with that.
so what, you've got to feed on that, and to say it so matter of factly, like "this is the way" seems once again to be a "lockstep" point of view.
and i say fuck that shit.
bullshit.

oh yeah, and the forgetfullness of the cat litter.
i can never remember what is the favorable brand of kitty litter to get.
maybe it's the too long of amount of time between purchases. dammit.!
shorsighted bullshit ass.

paste your face in disgrace, leather and lace, mace, taste, case bass
yeah, you know how we do.