ok, here we are

---

the time is come. the time is nigh. alrigh. high. sigh. semper fi.
yes, it's true.
i'm about to embark on my yearly journey once again.
something feels different this year.
of course, it is a different year.
this much is true.
but i sense a change in the Force.
and you all know i love changes in the Force.
god knows, i've been through enough changes. the windtunnels of doom are suckers of ecstasy and soup.
or at least, funions.
i know not what i speak for i haven't spake in a while.
like bile.

The Real Issue: Bush Is Incompetent

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Quite a surprise, isn't it?
Well, this fine fellow has laid it all out for me.
Actually, several fellows have laid it all out for me.
Richard Reeves

Mark Morford
This column SO rules. He's angrier than i am! here's the title:
Sentient Non-Idiots For Kerry: Repubs pick a fight about Vietnam while Bush ruins America right now? Is the nation drunk?

---

His Name Was Vengeance

'Vengeance' swipes cake, eats it too

Chop off my limbs for the GOP

---

it's what every good american should do if we're ever going to defeat the war on terror.
i know, it's difficult, but our president would do the same thing if it weren't for the fact he needs those hands to sign nasty new freedom-limiting bills into law, shake hands with despicable humans out to make a quick buck, and blind, idiotic americans who actually think he's doing a good job for them.
it's true, limbless americans are better.
do it for uncle sam today.
or risk being put in prison at Gitmo for being a terrorist.
you terrorist!

shotput your love into my extenuating circumstance of love attachment syndrome sucker mc

---

oh my god, have you heard the news? besides that there's good rockin' a midnight (and the ensuing 59 minutes thereafter - fuck 1 a.m.!)
ahem.
suck face for all (see on golden pond for more answers and details.

yes, it's true.
sit the fuck down, shut your asshole to the windtunnel and let go your mind into the bedeviling incident from which you are about to receive.

i tell the truth, fuckstain.
you fucking fuckhandle.
at least you have dignity.

remember Laura Branigan?
she sang that song "Gloria" back in the day, in the 1980s.

well, she's dead.
it's true.
just 47 years old. died in her sleep.
i haven't thought about laura branigan, in any real sense, in god, 20 years?
what the fuck?
so yeah, pop culture fascination rears its ugly head, bitch ass.

crotch cricket.

it's the prize you need.
and enjoy.
ahoy!
pampy will be around thursday night.
pampy the klown.
a fine choice for american maestro.
i dare say.

so yeah, laura branigan is dead.
people die all the time.
the population is constantly changing.
it's interesting to think about.
there is no static thought left on earth.
everything is a follow-up.

maybe babies have original thoughts.
but who can deciper what babies are thinking?
it's all conjecture and lies anyway.

i have a bad feeling that Bush is going to win.
i fucking hate that i think that.
but it's there.
fuck.
fucking hell mother fucking goddamn fucking hell.
why oh why and how can bush win again?
it's almost as if people are being defiant just for the sake of being defiant and blindly electing someone they know in their heart of hearts, is an incompetent fuckstain deserving of a severe ass kicking.
i'm serious.
i don't think i can take four more years of hating on bushie.
i think i may have to seriously consider moving out of country.
i could go to montreal.

montreal is in my destiny, isn't it?
just like san francisco is/was.

i love that i lead my life somewhat (mmm, mostly) by instinct.
my theory is that none of us really know what the fuck is going on at any given moment, so why keep pretending like we do all know what's up?
it's stupid.
isn't this all really fucking fun?
i think so.
god bless us, everyone.
even bob crachit.

private eyes, are watching you

---

whoa, kinda scary.
apparently, hackers have released a virus that can actually allow someone to turn on your webcam and microphone without you knowing about it and take pictures and audio.

Virus alert: Spies prize Webcams' eyes

see, i told you.

---

Not necessarily surprising, considering his daughter is openly gay. But I'm surprised he's being so open about it this close to the GOP Convention.
Cheney's position on Gay Marriages Differ With Bush's

division in the ranks, hmmm, something's afoot.

addicted

---

it was about an hour into it that i realized that i had reached my limit.
and just wanted to hide my head in the sand.
but i cannot.
for i am a news junkie.

some writerly pals of mine were going to see the film outfoxed last night in the city, so i opted to tag along.
it was a fine film, highlighting all the unbelievable lies and right wing agenda spewed by Fox News, but after about an hour, i was done.
i'm already impatient but i was like "fucking hell, end it already."
but no, it did not.
i wept for minutes on end, praying it would end.
but nay, it did not.

so that's my affliction.
all i can say is i cannot wait till this election is finally over.
i'm sick of being angry and obsessed, you know?
it gets tiring

so yeah

Salisbury Steak Sucks

---

What the hell is up with Salisbury Steak? Why is it called Salisbury Steak?
It basically is a sauce that drenches the meat.
It's often tangy but in my opinion, can also be gamy. And nobody like me likes gamy shit.
So to ask such an important question?
Why, let's take a gander at what the Food Network thinks, shall we? In true fellowship.
i feel the calling of the ocean today.
i must go to the ocean.
sorry for the digression, marion berry.

OK, what you really want to know is about the Salisbury Steak question. And damn, it is important.
Dilly dally here, dilly dally there.
i suppose i could do what i need to do.
but fuck need.

OK, Salisbury Steak:
Now you can find out the true answer
right here.

Salisbury steak
Definition: [SAWLZ-beh-ree] Essentially a ground-beef patty that has been flavored with minced onion and seasonings before being fried or broiled. It was named after a 19th-century English physician, Dr. J. H. Salisbury, who recommended that his patients eat plenty of beef for all manner of ailments. Salisbury steak is often served with gravy made from pan drippings.

I love drippings of all kinds.
Especially involving meat.
It makes me happy as a clam.
Slam. Jam. Wham.
Bam.
Thank you, Sir.

currently listening to: Need New Body UFO (File Thirteen Records)
verdict: eh, it's ok. random weirdness. Some stuff made me laugh. But see, they're one of those jokey, ironic indie bands that use electronics.
You know, THOSE types. See.
I mean, whatever, there's some good shit. it seemed like i liked 'show me your heart', a fine song.
'red as a bone' is funny, but it goes on too long, which they actually address in the song.
it's raw, man, you see. fucking raw.
dirty beats.
not unlike a dirty bomb.
on second thought, it's unlike a dirty bomb.
there goes a wailing siren from a cop car at 11:26 a.m. here in Oakland on a Sunday morning.
My work is never done.
I have films to watch, shit to do, stuff to inhale, people to push, jokers to call, and i'm supposed to go somewhere. but i don't want to go somewhere.
Why do i always have to go somewhere?
This, despite my yearning to go to the ocean today.
i need to be able to teleport places. this driving bullshit is so limiting. it's very frustrating.
when can i be cloned?
a world of me, golly.
that would be something.
don't read too much.
Your hat no longer fits correctly. Your gray matter has increased. be brave, young man, for tomorrow you may live.
Which is likely a good thing.
But never sacred or scared.
I think i've had quite enough of the the disquieting absurdity of need new body.

ha ha, very funny, mother fucker!


take your tablet before leaving my stasis.

your servant,

mitosis monk

---

supplemental - 11:35 a.m.

We wanna to be sedated -- ... er ... We already are sedated!!

Remember the days when you weren't paranoid?
Or better yet, remember the days when you had emotions?

Anti-Depressant 'Found in Drinking Water'

Prozac Discovered in Britain's Drinking Water Supply


currently listening to: Panthers Things Are Strange (Vice, released 9.28.04)
verdict: not bad, not as annoying as Need New Body, BIG raw fat rock sound. Brooding and fairly predictable, thought that's not necessarily a bad thing as righteous rocking outweights derivitive-ness.
yes.
so yeah. whatever.
Shaniquia is here and displeased.
i sold a cd last night for $5.
funny.
they said 'you look like someone who knows what's good.' um, ok. thanks.
sweet.
maybe rocking is for good, not bad.
let me people go.

***

Rick James is dead, bitch

Here's a a bit more info on the late Mr. James.
Alas, alas.

Funk Musician Rick James Dies; Sang 'Super Freak'

Rick James' death remains a mystery

Kanye West, Others Remember Rick James As A Visionary

'Super Freak' singer Rick James dies

***
More news on The Brown Bunny, pompous ass Vincent Gallo's film that was roundly derided at Cannes Film Festival last year.
It's finally being released and it's already creating more controversy due to the raunchy billboard advertising it in LA. Seems as if ol' Vincent is creating another press frenzy.

Controversial "Brown Bunny" billboard comes down

FabFiveFriday!!
SuperFiveFreak Edition

---

been a long time coming, i realize.
ehhhh, whatevah...


1. Orbital Blue Album (ATO, released 9.21.04) - A return to form for the Hartnoll brothers' final album, sounding much more like their old selves in their prime, especially the glorious keyboard flourishes in "Pants" and many other head-nodding delights. Do avoid the godawful track "Acid Pants," though, which is an abomination (and a pisstake).

2. The Orb Bicycles & Tricycles (Sanctuary) Not perfect, but surprisingly solid and better than anything they've released in a long time. Chock full of whimsical musical excursions (esp. "The Land Of Green Ginger" and "Hell's Kitchen") and several other tripped-out jams. Break out the mushroom tea.

3. Neotropic White Rabbits (Mush, released 8.17.04) - Kind of out there experimental electronic-organic mellow music from this female producer. Perfect for sucking down a big spliff and staring out the window (see above).

4. Liam Lynch "The United States of Whatever" - I recently rediscovered this old tune and it still flat-out rocks with its haphazard vocals and cheeky lyrics.

5. Magnetic Fields i (Nonesuch) - It's an addiction. I just can't stop listening to this record, especially after seeing them at the Palace of Fine Arts in July. "I thought you were my boyfriend," "In An Operetta" and "I Wish I Had an Evil Twin" are classics (but avoid the lame-ass dance remixes of "boyfriend" - the original is superior). Without a doubt, Stephin Merritt is one of the best songwriters alive today.

----
-1. Rick James Dead at 56 of 'natural causes' - "Cocaine. It's a helluva drug, heh heh heh heh."


tP
'the flavor says...butter"

Matthew Dear Takes Detroit

---

Or something like that, no?
here is my latest story, published in today's Detroit Free Press.
HIS OWN SPIN ON TECHNO: Matthew Dear's vocals make him an unconventional standout with international following

***
And here's a few more recent reviews I've written:
Motorcitysoul Did You Expect That?

The Orb Bicycles & Tricycles

Pontiac hosts a new free festival of Detroit-area dance music

Ezekiel Honig People Places and Things

The Streets A Grand Don't Come For Free

Detroit Grand Pubahs Galactic Ass Creatures From Uranus

boo-ya-ka-sha! West Side!

Bush Fucks Himself Yet Again

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This time, it's for accidentally saying that his administration will "never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people."
Looking good, dipshit. A real piece of work, this nitwit.
Bush misspeaks during signing ceremony

***
Also, did you know that referring to children's groups as 'guppies' is harmful to children and should be stopped?
That's what we say back on the farm.

Don't ever misunderestimate me again.

i so am still digging on barack obama. it's rad that iTunes offers all the speeches from the DNC -- FOR FREE -- on its iTunes Music Store. radtacular.
hilarious that the GOP wants hard right radio show host and former presidential candidate (if you can call it a 'candidacy') Alan Keyes to go up against Obama in Illinois in the Senatorial race.
funny, Keyes lives in Maryland (but state law just says they have to move to the state by election day), so that may be interesting.
and, uh, well he just so happens to be african american.
what a coincidence.
my god, republicans, you're a fucking joke.


***
And wow, the distorted anti-Kerry ad, attempting to discredit his war record by using vietnam vets that didn't even serve with Kerry, was SLAMMED by Republican Senator John McCain (AZ).
And check it, it's from a small town in Florida.
boo ya ka sha!@
McCain decries Vietnam veterans' anti-Kerry ad

The GOP is just getting desperate, hell, pathetic. It's a lovely thing.
UPDATE: 12:13 P.M. PST - "I Knew It Was Wrong"

***

heh, and here's our hometown mr. mayor, posing with his glittery wife for Harper's Bazaar.
Hmmm, in 20 years, could we be saying President Newsom?
New Kennedys' or not, focus is on city's first couple

It's the debates, Stupid

At least, that's what they tell me back in the trenches.
Read This, Bitches

Bush-Cheney campaign Racist

The story below is reprinted from Salon.com because it makes me so damn angry and i want more people to know about this bullshit president of ours.

Fun with Dick

For a journalist assigned to cover a Dick Cheney campaign rally in Arizona, getting racially profiled was just part of the job description, all in the name of "security."

"President Bush's re-election campaign insisted on knowing the race of an Arizona Daily Star journalist assigned to photograph Vice President Dick Cheney. The Star refused to provide the information."

" ... A rally organizer for the Bush-Cheney re-election campaign asked Teri Hayt, the Star's managing editor, to disclose the journalist's race on Friday. After Hayt refused, the organizer called back and said the journalist probably would be allowed to photograph the vice president. 'It was such an outrageous request, I was personally insulted,' Hayt said later."

At least the Bush-Cheney campaign doesn't require journalists to sign "loyalty oaths," a requirement for citizens who want to watch the vice president speak.

"Some would-be spectators hoping to attend Vice President Dick Cheney's rally in Rio Rancho this weekend walked out of a Republican campaign office miffed and ticketless Thursday after getting this news: 'Unless you sign an endorsement for President George W. Bush, you're not getting any passes.'"


For more information on this latest disgusting move by the Bush Administration, check out these stories too:
Bush camp solicits race of Star staffer
Obtaining Cheney Rally Ticket Requires Signing Bush Endorsement

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And now for something on a completely different topic...

Village Idiot - The case against M. Night Shenanigans
Oh,i mean M. Night Shyamalan, the man responsible for The Sixth Sense and all the contrived movies that came after it (like Unbreakable -- a.k.a. unbearable -- Signs, and now, The Village).
He's a one-note human gimmick.

Good News

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Some Republicans Defect to Kerry's Camp
One Speech, Two Dozen Voters: Guarded Thumbs-Ups for Kerry

Update on my Oakland homegirl Ilana Wexler. She's becoming a little star.
No timeout in girl's work for Kerry