Friday, August 19, 2005

Fire, Walk With Poo

I've been very busy this week with too much crap and not enough no. 2 pencils.
People like you hate me. It's just in your nature.
With that stupid intro, i give you the illustrious links that have flooded my being throughout this tortured week of doom.
Remember, it's better to receive than to give.
A penny earned is not a penny saved.
A stitch in time saves mine.
And Don Cornelius loves your gravy train.

The Poop Walker
This could be the greatest story of all mankind. I was trying to imagine the poop walker happily playing in the poop farm.
This only goes to prove that most humans are kind, understandable creatures with a lot going for them.

My mirror image rules.

With all this talk of wars, fighting people, and the normal human tendency for competitiveness, why haven't we addressed the real problems strangling our society?
Which is better?
Port-o-Let vs. Port-o-Sans
This guy has already done some analysis. Thank you for your candor, mister.

Cake ice cream cones are way better than sugar cones.
that's what i say.

Just in time for America, Hello Kitty headlamps

Free Wi-Fi? Get Ready for GoogleNet
i like free things.

Redneck movie for the children
As long as your children were birthed by your sister or cousin.
I wonder if these people voted for Bush?
Actually, i wonder if these people know who Bush is. Or what voting is.

Die, You Miserable Bitch
I'm not saying it, this guy is. Pretty big meanie, i would say.

Police seek diaper-clad man who pesters women
I wonder what diaper man is doing right now.

Someone Tell the President the War Is Over
This is an amazing column. I love Frank Rich.

Urine Scientists invent pee-powered battery
well, it's about damn time. Man. I've been storing all this pee up for a while now.

Creepy Cams Abound in NYC
Smile, we're watching you. Say cheese-covered buttcake.

Music Industry Worried About CD Burning
Yeah, me too. I'm worried i'm going to run out of CDs to burn so i can give them to all my friends. The music industry is filled with pigs.

Mac Melee!
I'm glad people are showing restraint in this topsy-turvy world we live in. Pigs.

This website rules the world
As does this one.
My inner child thanks you while my outer child continues to pout.
Be sure to listen to the various jingles on the Basic Chip website, especially A Man Could Get Killed.

New albums on the way for your dad
My dad hates the last Sigur Ros album because he thinks they've sold out.

This will help the anti-war movement.
Parents of Fallen Marine Make Plea to Bush

Celibate Celebs: Some Aren't Promiscuous
I think celibacy isn't actually real, but a ruse foisted upon us by Emperor Hirohito.

Cows fed marijuana to help them chill out.
Can't wait to try some of their milk, dude.

Drug dealer must forfeit lottery winnings
How lucky/unlucky can you be? Bummer for the coke dealer.

Google unites Blogger and Microsoft Word
This soooo rocks! I've tried it and it's quite cool.

The Corpse Bride
Oh, Tim Burton, you have shown us the way once again. I love creepy shit, especially dead brides with maggots popping out their rotted eyeballs.
Zombies so do rule 2005.

No sex please, we're repressed
Those funny Chinese sure are funny.

And this just in ...
Woman critically burned in downtown S.F. explosion
Thankfully, this wasn't a terrorist plot, just a plot against Ralph Lauren.

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