i wrote the following a few days before venturing out to the desert. since then, my life has been altered, i am permanently not the tim i was when i wrote this.... i was dreaming when i wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray...
ever since this past weekend, i've been in the zone dj-wise.
most of my life consists of me fighting off near-constant random thoughts about pretty much every thing i encounter on a daily basis.
yes, when i dj, i have the ability to focus better and more intensely than any other time i devote to creative ventures.
it's the one time in which i, incredibly, can take all of my scattered brain cells and shove them into one zone.
even if for a while.
it's my escape.
honestly, NOTHING else really matters much to me when i'm DJing.
hence, it's my basis, my trueness, my everything.
music is my lifeblood.
this kind of mindset is where i need to be all of the time.
or at least the large majority of my time.
right, i have a point here.
so ever since this last weekend, i've been primed, focused, excited, gearing up, and playing music more than i have in months. at the very least, this dedicated.
so tonight was a GREAT warm-up to the much-much larger main event this weekend, as i travel eastward from my wonderful homeland to spend some excellent QT with fellow overthinkers, revelers, and freakballs.
june 29, 2006, 12:56 am PST
back to now
well, good readers of children's booklets, i must tell you, beforeTim (that would be me in the past, who is a different creature you see), was spot on.
the creativity has increased. i am a fucking golden god.
ok, i copped that shit from robert plant, but it's a fucking good quote.
and i like to say fucking.
yeah....it's me, i'm here, it's all happening (and yes, that's a quote too, bitches), and it's all allright with me, you see.
i am doing fine.
well, fine is a relative term.
let's see what else i have now.
my emotions are a pool of hot gelatin right now.
i'm always this way after the playa.
up, down, sideways, slantways, thatways, thisways, ergoways...
i contemplate too much shit.
i analayze too much.
i am a overthinker dammit.
i am a overthinker, yes yes yes.
it's a constant struggle
the playa was good for me
the playa was bad for me
the playa was me
the playa was the real me
the playa was the faux me
the playa was a fucking mindfuck
the playa fucked my mind
the playa fucked me
i fucked the playa
and so it is (thanks linda ellerbee)
i am confusion
i am mass
i am mass confusia
i am confuscious
i need to get ready to leave this place
this place that i am currently dwelling
not leave the place for permanence
but to leave this place for the thing i am about to do
the things i do
i can't tell you how difficult is.
ok, here are my sets.
this one is ambient fucked weirdness strange cry in the corner mix
you will dig.
ambient chillits demo for your grandma's chicken
and this one is glitchy, tense, intense, not so tense, treacly.
glitchy fuckface mix