At long last, the return of Fab Five Friday...on a Tuesday

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You'll have to pardon my absence. I've been busy, you see.

Extremely busy. It's true. I started a new job and it's been one hell of a big change in my life, you know? Big commitment and all that.

But you know, i haven't forgotten you. The FFF has been aching to come out. It was time to take a bit of responsibility and jump at this opportunity, or I was in danger of being thrown to the lions.

And while i truly enjoy lions and their company, I didn't want to be devoured quite so soon. You see, higher powers were at work here to ensure i would be able to live on for another day. It's a wonderous occasion, no?

puto, then. fucking puto. let's get down to it poppers

1. Zombies

Zombies are the shit. How can you not love the undead? Sure, they're ruthless freaks bent on eating your delicious flesh and gooey brains, but as long as they don't eat me and you, they're damn fine entertainment. Zombies are incredibly focused on what they want - gray matter, and lots of it. They don't get distracted worrying about silly things such as sex, emotions and fear of death. I highly recommend picking up a copy of The Zombie Survival Guide immediately. Don't delay. And then there's most famous zombie of them all, Zombie Jesus. Who could forget the timeless story of Zombie Jesus dying, only to rise from the dead three days later and proclaim his zombieness for all mankind to fear and worship? It's a glorious story.


2. Boards Of Canada resurgence

I don't know what it is but I'm back on the B.O.C. train. Maybe it's their warbly soothing electronic goodness, making my brain feel better when i'm trying to figure out the goddamn html code. Or maybe it's just damn fine moody music that soothes savage beasts like myself. Either way, Boards Of Canada gives me renewed hope in this topsy-turvy world we live in and dammit, that counts for something.


3. Recent DJ gigs

I've been rocking it lately, feeling the energy, feeling the love, getting into the zone. God, i sound like a Britney Spears song. But it's true, Pa, really. Playing music for people is more fun than spitting up dry biscuits when you don't have enough butter on them. Trust me, I know.


4. Art Deco Exhibit at Legion Of Honor, San Francisco

A good history of Art Deco and several interesting examples of it. The ornate art deco bed, made with steel, was a sight to behold. Plus it's a gorgeous view of the Bay up there. Just don't bother trying to hit the exhibit on a weekend. Too crowded. I only pushed six people off the cliff, which wasn't too bad.


5. Dykehouse Midrange (Ghostly International, Released May 4)

New shoegazey/IDM one-man band out of my home state Michigan prove there's life to stare-at-your shoes, supremely overdubbed walls of general guitar maelstrom-laden tunes. Oh and there's even some likeable melodies, frittering electronic beats, and nicely buried vocals. I say bring back the shoegazer shit, pronto.


6. Colder Again (Output Recordings, Released April 6)

Again came out last year in Europe but is just making it to the U.S. It's indeed a cold and dark work, intermingling dub with dreary Joy Division-like dirges, spronky synth pop, new wave and IDM. Definitely a subtle record, this is especially nice with the headphones on.

And Some Negatives
-1. Motion detector toilets
Sure, i like the fact i never have to touch a nasty-ass public restroom handle, even with my foot, but this also means there's a higher likelihood of leftover scat from the previous depositer. Joy.

-2. People that front
Telling me your nickname is "obnoxious" or "asshole" when you're obviously trying to impress me with your "off-the-wall wackiness." If you were really that wacky, you wouldn't have to tell me.

-3. April Fools Jokes
Yeah, ha ha ha, you really got me, didn't ya? Another excuse for people to be just so funny and pull wild stunts having to do with lies, deception and gullible people. Nothing's more lame than a officially sanctioned day to be silly. Kinda takes the whole spontaniety out of pulling a great practical joke. Fuck April Fools Day.

-4. Eating Peeps
I like the concept of Peeps -- the delicious Easter treat made of sugar, marshmallow, high fructose corn syrup and more sugar -- because they're damn cute and you can squish them. But they're worse than cotton candy and i think cotton candy is a waste of time, too sticky and too sugary. But Peeps will live on because they have a good name.

-5. Breakfast At Tiffany's
So i finally got around to seeing this supposed classic starring Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard (he of '80s TV show The A-Team alongside Mr. T) but i was sorely disappointed. I found it formless, feathery light fluff with very little to care about. While i liked Hepburn's "Holly Golightly" character, i was also annoyed at director Blake Edwards' presumption that merely by presenting Holly as this sort of free spirit, the viewer was supposed to automatically like her. Yet, there was so little character development, it was difficult to care for anyone in the film. I felt no emotional connection. True, there are some cute moments and I did enjoy the fated couple's shenanigans bouncing around the streets of 1961 New York City, but I guess I was expecting more.

Questions? Need a shoulder to weep on? An arm to snap? Email me