sylvia plath is still dead

---

you know i was never so much into the morose stuff.
i mean, i'm as morbid as they come. i am fascinated by death and think about it often, though i'm also quite frightened by it.
it's quite a paradox isn't it.

but first...

don't you think the decemberists are similar to neutral milk hotel?
they are.

they really are.
i was having this conversation with a fine fellow worker monday and finally, i found someone who agreed with me, that there are similarities.
they both have that jaunty storytelling european timeless sea-happy vibe.
yeah.
i'm only reminded of this because 'holland, 1945' is playing right now. and it's reminding me of that conversation.

so i'm in the throes of the nightfall following the 4.20 holiday. really, it's like a holiday here in the bay area.
i'm talking mary jane, mama.
i always loved all the nicknames we were told about drugs, all the myths.
i definitely remember the 'just say no' campaign back in the 80s, propagated by nancy reagan. she even went on the show 'diff'rent strokes' to promote the the campaign.
ah what a time.
seems like the whole country is attempting to relive the 80s in every way, despite reality.
despite all the woes of the world.

but of course, i'm not going to get too dreary.
no ma'am.
i'm just too much of a realist.
i read so much, i'm a goddamn sponge.
i soak up all the badness.
and really, there's so much badness.

but you can't let it get to you too much.
you have to let it slide off of you.
because at the end of the day, it's still and always all about you, numero uno. and i can't believe i just used 'numero uno.'
hey now, i live in a spanish-speaking neighborhood. i have the right and shit.
damn straight bitch.

ah, oakland, city of champions.
more like almost-champions.
oakland is the sort of underdog city that you always want to root for, but they're such dicks about it, it's difficult to be completely genuine.
oakland reminds me a lot of detroit in so many ways.
i mean, it's much more racially diverse than detroit, but the crime rate, the lack of jobs, the poverty, the corruption in government, the bullshit, the aggro vibe, it's all there.

on the other hand, i've grown to dig oakland for some reasons. it is different. tougher. harder. i still get the weird looks from people. "oh wow, you live in oakland" as if they're saying 'dangerous.'
which, in some parts, it is.
just like anyone with a small amount of street smarts, you just don't go to those bad parts where you're not welcome.
it's unfortunate that gang violence still exists but it does. needless killings for stupid shit.
it's always the same thing.
just retarded.

more than ever, we are a violent-friendly society. violence is ok. nudity is not.
obviously.

we are a country that still can't deal with confronting the reality of sex.
all, big surprises, right?
yeah.


so yeah.
and yeah some more.
and still more yeah.
yeah yeah yeah...infinity.

right?

once you call infinity, it's over.
you know?