All Monkeys want to vote for Matt

you know, i don't live in the city of san francisco but damn i wish i could find a way to vote for Matt Gonzalez.

he's been a party maniac getting the word out to all the people in the arts community that's for damn sure.
and he seems a hell of a lot more sincere than Gavin Nuisance, turdball extraordinaire.

smiling freak that he is.

though my girl says ol' matt needs a haircut.

i'll agree with you there, ms. b.

so it's december now.
how the fuck did it become december 2003?

i'm officially becoming older.
in fact, i'm older now than i was when i just wrote that sentence.
isn't time wonderful?

i always wanted to stop time with my stop watch or something similar.
apparently i wasn't the only kid that was obsessed with stopping time.
i recall reading some lame book about 10-12 years ago about stopping time but it devolved into this weird sex story. and not in hot and good steamy way.
more like boring as fuck, i want to throw this fucking book out the window right about now kind of way.

but i still feel good. i went out friday night to the Kompakt night at Club Six in SF. fucking amazing music!

fook yeah!

grandma chicken would have been proud.
no but really. impressive show yeah yeah yeah. great music. michael mayer is a fine fellow.

i was jumping around like a bloomin' fewl i tell you.

but the sunrise set is done, so that's all that matters.
screw ewe too.

I'm not always a fan of the SF Chronicle, but being a newspaper whore like i am, i still read the damn thing. god knows i don't pick up the oakland tribune, like ever.
anyway, they're doing a weeklong series on the homeless and i must say, it's pretty good. so i'm giving it some props, is what i'm saying.
Props

<<Important note about health care

i wrote 8002 words (not counting this part) in november.

and even more importantly, November marks two damn years since i started this blog. no shit. two years.
there's been some ups, some downs, and some bullshit frowns, but i've bucked the web trend of lasting longer than a few months. i stand firm at the brink of something important and longlasting.

namely, everlasting life. see, if you believe in me, you'll have everlasting life.
in 2000 years, everybody will believe this.
trust me, these are the real gospels for the generations of the future.

will they be on earth?
i doubt it.

maybe africa.

or pluto.
ok, pudgy chuck is dead.

Those must have been some awesome DVD players.

This Just In...

Women Needed to Test Orgasm Machine

Step up to the plate, ladies

Uh oh, iPod owners

Now this is a great album cover.

yo what up.
living large, living lime, living live, living lome.

damn if it don't feel like friday today.
except i've got unanswerable things like the fact that my computer is telling me it's fucking wednesday.
gezuz h. christ on a popsicle stick.
at least you're not alive right now.

remember when?

goddamn, i just realized i forgot to put the fab five friday up on heah this past week. i must be fucking stupid.
just really fucking stupid, don't you think?

maybe i should unsubscribe from the 313 list, no?
well, at least i'm not satan.

or am i?

there are so many things to talk about.

where do we begin?

where does it all end?

have you heard about this exciting thing called the Vocaloid?
it's fucked up.
but kinda interesting too, no?

this just in..

if we weren't alive right now, we'd be in real trouble.

on the other hand, we'd be dead.
or pre-born.

now we're post-born.

free me up, yo.

i'm young, white and dangerous.
can you tell?
people often think i'm a G.

really.
most definitely.

break 'em off some.
break 'em off.

at least i'm not chicken boti.
pakwan rules.

even if they're a bit agitated.

castor oil rocks.

bullet in the head.
that is.

look at me before you go downtown.
and then you'll realize the error of your ways.

don't threaten me.
uncut.

bijou philips is out.

new albums i'm listening to today:

The Beatles "Let it Be...Naked" - i like it better, more cohesive, the album as a whole works now and it never did before. good sound quality, you feel closer to the music, definitely more raw. the only version i didn't like as much was "get back" because it seems like it cuts off rather abruptly and too soon.

pearl jam "lost dogs" (epic) - eh, whatever. i used to buy their bootlegs when they first came out in 91-93..so i knew most of the songs i'd even want to hear from that era. i stopped buying pearl jam records after "vitalogy."

joss stone "the soul sessions" - very young white girl from england plays with old bluesmen, another one of those "i can't believe this girl is white" albums (see amy winehouse).� interestingly enough, she does the most unlikely covers, like white stripes' "fell in love with a boy" (gender changed), works with questlove from the roots, john sebastian's "i had a dream," aretha franklin's "all the king's horses." "For the love of you" by the Isley brothers, "some kind of wonderful by john ellison, working with betty wright.
hmmm, you know what, this sucks. fuck joss stone.


wow, a TON of big new releases for christmas have arrived.
besides above, new tori amos best of, new kid rock, britney spears, blink-182, red hot chili peppers greatest hits, jimi hendrix's "Live At Berkeley, new Flaming Lips EP sounds good, Bruce Springsteen Greatest Hits, Cyndi Lauper's new one, G-Unit's new one.
all pretty much shit, no?

"Show me your soul" P. Diddy w/ Pharrell Williams, Loon & Lenny Kravitz. - hmm. a bunch of rich guys getting together sort of trying to rock out. yeah. fuck you.

Important Random thought
i have an unwritten personal rule that i can't wear the same outfit within the last ..mmm, i'd say at least two weeks, but more like 3-4. i have enough clothes..i should say, i have enough shirts and corresponding jackets to change it up. i definitely need more pants, though.
don't you agree?
we all need somebody to have pants on.

re: the chili peppers: this is basically a best of of only the WB years, nothing from the hillel slovak era at all. amazing how many hits they've had. they hold up pretty well, actually. no they don't. the chili peppers are kind of stupid.
however, i still hold "blood sugar sex magik" (especially cool because of the spelling, right?) or whatever it's called, as being memorable, mainly because it represents a specific time in my life, my last year in college at michigan state university 199?.
two new tracks, "fortune faded" and "save the population." opens with lyrics "history so strong." wow, these tracks seem quite half-assed. bad. flat production. jesus, this is WEAK. both of them just suck.

new britney - track 4 "breathe on me" seems destined for the clubs, kind of reminds me of kylie minogue.

having two lattes today makes me feel like i'm on drugs or something.

did you know apple cider is for idiots? that's what ken nordine says.

my bathtub hurts me.

Send a very special email before you kick off

This is weird


Song currently playing: "Fire Within" by Magic Sound Fabric, from Uplift Drift

i also watched the film 28 Days Later --- pretty good premise, pretty good film for the most part, degenerates badly in the last third, i thought.

but still, a good film and a REALLY good idea. i had so many more questions after seeing it, that's for sure. that needed to be made into a book.
or maybe it's from a book, hey?

chunna.

timmmmiii

FFFriday #6

Fab Five Friday (How Now Brown Cow Edition)

1. The Rapture & Out-Hud at the Great American, 11.13
Dance party USA, even if they sometimes sound like Gang of Four with techno beats. They are still solid live. Plus I loved the loner sax player, who looked like he was having the time of his life doing nifty dance steps with just his instrument. Plus you know your band is onto something when the girls are grasping onto your lead singer's pant legs by show's end.
As for Out-Hud, i really dig their eclectic sound, a clever mix of electronic with organic instrumentation... even if that over-dancing keyboard guy Nic was talking shit about non-dancing SF crowds. "at least in sacramento we dance." yeah, yeah, what a great joke. never heard that one before. ha.
i especially dug the smallish girl who plays a strange-looking cello (it had no body), sings and also plays guitar on a few songs. damn. she's like, talented and stuff.

2. Playing the Hives' "Die, All Right!" really fucking loud three times in a row because I'm all alone in the warehouse space right now and i can.

3. Yarbrough & Peoples - good name.

4. Television Marquee Moon (Remastered reissue) - Somehow, I managed to not listen to them for many years. But now that i have, it's clear how influential they were. The new version sounds better than ever, the packaging is great, and features several alternate takes. They were so ahead of their time. It's crazy this came out in '77.

5. Five newish albums with potential:
a. Eltro Past & Present Futurists (absolutely kosher) - the Notwist meets To rococo Rot (i.e. IDM indie pop) with evocative female vocals.
b. Her Space Holiday Young Machines (mush) - sort of in The Postal Service vein, wry lyrics with electronic beats. but more morose.
c. My Favorite Happiest Days Of Our Lives (Remixes) - '80s-juiced Roxy Music-esqe sweeping pop. I like many of the remixes better than the originals.
d. Viva Voce Lovers Lead The Way! (asthmatic kitty) - sometimes it seems like my iTunes has a mind of its own. it's been playing the shit out of this album lately. but damn if this isn't some breezy, yet delightfully brooding, murky psych pop.
e. Finishing School Destination Girl (telegraph) - This is the solo album from Sasha Bell, the vocalist from The Ladybug Transistor. It's not that far removed from early 10,000 Maniacs style with baroque strings, melancholy vocals and feathery beats.


-1. Noticing two entries contain exclamation points. Are exclamation points becoming played out?

tP

FFFriday

Fab Five Friday #5
+"No Pressure/Back On Schedule� Edition


1. Clear Horizon "Clear Horizon" (Kranky, out 11.18) - Damn, I love white noise. i just love to be ensconced in crackly sounds that lull me into a trance-like state. The press release says �Clear Horizon is the culmination of two years of tape-trading across the Atlantic between Jessica Bailiff and David Pierce.� I say, think of a stripped-down My Bloody Valentine, with serious white noise guitar tonal immersion offset by ghostly vocals and threaded acoustic strings. Kinda like being underwater when you're obviously not...or are you?

2. Sugarplum Fairies (starfish) �Introspective Raincoat Student Music� � an apt title for an album that manages to be both fresh and familiar at the same time. I love Silvia Rider�s whispery yet biting vocals and imaginative lyrics, plus the dreamy slide guitar-playing and odd arrangements. Some of the best tracks on the album are available for free download via amazon (I�m sure you can find it).

3. Clem Snide "A Beautiful EP" (spinart) - they do a cover of Christina Aguilera's "beautiful,� which manages to be both snide and sincere at the same time. Another track, "Mike Kalinsky" is about a kid who has asthma, always misses school but still does better on tests than everyone else. Nearly every song on here makes me giggle. And it�s hard to be both consistently funny and still write good songs.

4. Mando Diao "Bring 'em In" (Mute) � Garage rock from Sweden that�s really solid. I especially like the production, stripped down and all fuzzy. It�s got a very go-go '60s vibe but still manages to rock out at the same time.

5. Surprises!
- The State of California sent me my tax return the other day. Now I can buy that babushka I�ve always wanted.
- Sleep. Me, the notorious non-sleeper (it takes up too much of my time) has been hitting the sack by 10 p.m. almost every night this week and getting up by 7 a.m. It may have something to do with my super-hectic October, in which I averaged about 2 hours a night.
- The cold/drizzly/cloudy weather. Now it truly feels like autumn. I just love the crispy element of the air this time of year. And the best part is, no worries about snow!


NEGATIVES
-1. The Tropic of Capricorn. It sucks. The Tropic Of Cancer is so much better.

(BONUS - WEB EXCLUSIVE)-2. Shaving my pubic hair. OK, I�ve officially learned my lesson. No more �What if I did this?� thoughts in the shower. Now I know why women get theirs waxed or use Nair. That shit itches something fierce.


one love, one love, accept most
timmmmiiiii

My Name is PRINCE...and I'm here to talk to you about Jehovah...

Jessica Lynch Criticizes U.S. Accounts of Her Ordeal
By DAVID D. KIRKPATRICK, NY Times
Published: November 7, 2003

rather than reiterate what is being said here, i felt it important to add this story directly how it runs in today's NY Times, which says that Jessica Lynch believes the Pentagon used her story for jingoistic fervor. TP

--In her first public statements since her rescue in Iraq, Jessica Lynch criticized the military for exaggerating accounts of her rescue and re-casting her ordeal as a patriotic fable.

Asked by the ABC News anchor Diane Sawyer if the military's portrayal of the rescue bothered her, Ms. Lynch said: "Yeah, it does. It does that they used me as a way to symbolize all this stuff. Yeah, it's wrong," according to a partial transcript of the interview to be broadcast on Tuesday.

After months of retreating from the news media, Ms. Lynch will be a ubiquitous presence next week. In addition to her appearance on ABC, she will be on the cover of Time magazine, and NBC will broadcast a movie based on an Iraqi's account of her ordeal. On Tuesday, the book publisher Knopf will release an account of her experience, "I Am a Soldier, Too," written with her cooperation by a former reporter for The New York Times, Rick Bragg.

The book and the movie are unrelated and tell different versions of Ms. Lynch's story, but the publisher has timed the book to capitalize on publicity from the television movie.

The book has already added another, lurid indignity to the public accounts of her capture. It reports that Ms. Lynch's military doctors found injuries consistent with sexual assault and unlikely to have resulted from the Humvee crash that caused her other wounds, suggesting that she was raped after her capture. Ms. Lynch, who was unconscious immediately after the crash, does not remember any such assault, according to people who have talked to her and read the book. Those details of the book's contents were reported yesterday in The New York Daily News.

In the book and in the interviews, Ms. Lynch says others' accounts of her heroism often left her feeling hurt and ashamed because of what she says was overstatement.

At first, a military spokesman in Iraq told journalists that American soldiers had exchanged fire with Iraqis during the rescue, without adding that resistance was minimal. Then the military released a dramatic, green-tinted, night-vision video of the mission. Soon news organizations were repeating reports, attributed to anonymous American officials, that Ms. Lynch had heroically resisted her capture, emptying her weapon at her attackers.

But subsequent investigations determined that Ms. Lynch was injured by the crash of her vehicle, her weapon jammed before she could fire, the Iraqi doctors treated her kindly, and the hospital was already in friendly hands when her rescuers arrived.

Asked how she felt about the reports of her heroism, Ms. Lynch told Ms. Sawyer, "It hurt in a way that people would make up stories that they had no truth about. Only I would have been able to know that, because the other four people on my vehicle aren't here to tell the story. So I would have been the only one able to say, yeah, I went down shooting. But I didn't."

And asked about reports that the military exaggerated the danger of the rescue mission, Ms. Lynch said, "Yeah, I don't think it happened quite like that," although she added that in that context anybody would have approached the hospital well-armed. She continued: "I don't know why they filmed it, or why they say the things they, you know, all I know was that I was in that hospital hurting. I needed help."

Lt. Col. Rivers Johnson, a spokesman for the Department of Defense, declined to comment on Ms. Lynch's views. But he said, "Essentially, the mission to rescue Jessica Lynch demonstrated America's resolve to account for all of its missing service members." He added that the rescue had been conducted under the appropriate procedures for a fluid situation like the war in Iraq. "You always plan for the worst."

Ms. Lynch also disputed statements by Mohammed Odeh al-Rehaief, the Iraqi lawyer, that he saw her captors slap her.

"From the time I woke up in that hospital, no one beat me, no one slapped me, no one, nothing," Ms. Lynch told Diane Sawyer, adding, "I'm so thankful for those people, because that's why I'm alive today."

Jeff Coplon, who helped Mr. Rehaief write his book, "Because Each Life is Precious," said it was possible that both he and Ms. Lynch were telling the truth in their divergent accounts.

"One of the questions that could arise in the wake of this kind of trauma is that someone could believe they remember everything and their memory could still be incomplete," Mr. Coplon said.

...
Who will win?

it's become increasingly difficult to tell who will win the democratic presidential nomination.
my top contenders at the moment would be:

Wesley Clark
Howard Dean
Bob Kerry

Edwards? whatever.
Sharpton? yeah, he sure is funny. ha.
Lieberman? gross. fuck this so-called "democrat" a censorship-happy fool who will likely appeal to older voters, which sucks since they vote the most consistently.

let's see, who else is there.
Braun? yeah right. whatever.
Gephardt? could there be anyone who comes off more wimpy? maybe lieberman, but that's about it.

shit, that's eight. off the top of my head, that's not too bad but i can't recall who the ninth is.

ah yes, dennis kucinich, who is by far the most extreme, despite being from ohio. which is funny. he was the youngest mayor of cleveland ever. i think he was like 31 when he was elected. which is quite amazing, i must say.

anyway...i dig kucinich's beliefs but he has no chance. plus a bad name.

kerry - i guess i don't understand why people dislike him, since he's a war vet, is very smart and has a longtime political career. maybe that's part of his problem, the longtime politician shit. or maybe it's because he reminds many people of frankenstein or at least, herman munster aka fred gwynne (whom i loved so much in "pet semetary"). regardless, kerry is a longshot at best.

if the old guard dem establishment gets leiberman the ticket, we're doomed for sure. that's such a bad ticket. plus the whole jewish thing won't play well, i don't think. obviously i have nothing against the jewish people but we're talking election time here folks.

anyway...clark. though one article i read about him in newsweek gave me pause...since then i've read an interview with him in rolling stone, listened to an interview he did on NPR and read soemthing else about him online, though i can't recall the source.
he seems pretty level-headed, has a lifetime of military experience and can think on his feet. it's unfortunate he joined the campaign so late but i still think he's a viable candidate...or in other words, one of the better chances of beating bush, because obviously dubya can't compete on the military thing, having skipped out on his fucking time in the national guard, for christ's sake.
yet, military people love him. it's amazing to me. he was more of a draft dodger than clinton ever was, yet somehow he's our military president. boggles my mind but people are fucking idiots after all.

there's something about Clark that i like, his discipline, his confidence, his belief (seemingly) to speak what he thinks.
of course, howard dean does that as well but there's something about him that seems a little too brash...then again, we need brashness to defeat the unbelievably brash and lying GOP, so that could work. and fuck, dean has raised a LOT of money, more so than i would have thought. now he's thinking about dropping out of the election public funds so he's not subject to limiting rules made by campaign finance laws. don't get me wrong, the campaign finance game is sooo fucked up right now, but that's not dean's fault. and when the bushies consistently flout the laws when it comes to raising money (gee, doesn't this story sound familiar? yet it seems sooooo different when the GOP does it compared to when clinton did it, huh? oh that's right, that's because republicans don't have to actually follow the law - they just do what they want).
so i say to dean, fucking drop out. basically the finance laws limit the amount of money you can spend at like $47 million, i believe, which are matched by taxpayer funds. so dean is saying "fuck that, we're going to need more to defeat bush" who long ago dropped out of the finance limit because he had no intention of only spending that piddily amount of money.

never mind the fact that money is what it takes to win the presidency these days. we all know that.

some people are criticizing dean already, because he stated early on in his campaign that he was going to limit himself to those finance law funds. but clearly he, nor anyone else, could have forseen how much money he's actually raised.
beat the fucking bush's, at all costs. we need to.

but getting back to my point, i just think that the GOP will destroy Dean if he gets the nomination. then again, i could be wrong and hope i am.
i am just so afraid of a wimpy lieberman or gephardt nomination. that would soooo be the wrong call.
if it was such the right call then we wouldn't even be discussing this, since Gore would have been president.

now of course i am a firm believer that gore was hoodwinked out of the presidency for sure. and the media helped play a role, by prematurely declaring bush as the winner before it was completely determined to be true.
that exit polling bullshit is such a joke, btw, but whatever.

but part of the problem may have been that bush came off as a guy's guy, the kind of dude you could hang out with on a weekend to get fucked up, snort a few lines, smoke some kind bud and get in the car and hop on down to the next bar. ok, maybe ol' bush didn't smoke that much kind bud, but that's the least harmful of the three things i mentioned, so big fucking deal.
ha
anyway....bush came off as the affable partyboy pal, the guy with the gregarious personality who acted stupid even though he wasn't actually stupid.
i certainly don't think bush is stupid, more evil than stupid, and with a clearcut neoconservative agenda, despite the fact that he labeled himself as a "compassionate conservative" while campaigning.
it's amazing to me how quickly people have forgotten what bush supposedly stood for compared to what he actually does stand for.
people are sheep though, big surprise, so no point in even arguing about that.

what all this means is that we need somebody that can take on bush tit for tat, that can roll with the punches (and there will be many many punches - get ready for fox news to go on the offensive the minute the nomination is secured by one of these fuckers) and stand firm in their convictions.

and while i praise dean for bringing some much-needed bristling commentary to the forum, i hesitate a bit because he may just end up alienating too many people and thereby once again handing the presidency to the GOP by default.
just sucks so much.

i mean, astoundingly, every week comes a new revelation from this government that literally makes me turn cold with fear. that bill just signed into law by Bush, the one that bans partial birth abortions. well, that bill leaves no room for extenuating circumstances, say if the woman is raped or is in clear life-threatening danger.
within hours after the bill was signed into law, a federal judge declared that the law was likely unconstitutional and needed to be decided by the courts before going into effect.
within another day, two more courts had ruled the same way, thereby covering most of the states in the union.

yet, i read a story this morning that says the department of justice (lead by that fucking foolish bible-toting lunatic john asscroft) would enforce this law anyway...even though the law has already been struck down by THREE federal judges. apparently, normal laws don't apply to the dept. of justice, the very same people that are supposed to fucking uphold the law of the land, no matter what!
there isn't supposed to be any "interpretation" of the law by Justice. that's for the courts to decide, hello!

makes me so angry. jesus. now we can routinely flout whatever laws we deem to be wrong.
so if i'm elected AG (it could happen) and wanted to openly smoke marijuana because i thought the law was wrong, i could. let out all the convicted nonviolent drug offenders because i believe the law is "morally wrong under god's eyes." yeah, ok. right. would never happen.
yet somehow republicans seem to disavow that when it comes to shit THEY believe to be God-inspired.

does anybody recall the separation of church and state? that was like part of the fucking point of separating from england in the first place. does anybody seem to recall that? no, apparently not.

this is the first in a long series of rants that are itching to emerge from my brain.

all i can say is.....Democrats. get your shit together. a recent poll just came out that a majority of americans, for the first time in like forever, are unhappy with the iraq thing and unhappy with bush. it's not a very big margin but it proves that people are fucking fed up with this idiot.
but the only way to get rid of this idiot is to come back hard and strong to defeat the infidels aka bushies & GOP cohorts.

and if you think people like gephardt and lieberman are going to do it, you'd be wrong.

so,
GO Dean! (though i'm still not sure what to think of the whole confederate flag flap, i still dig what he has to say and love the fact he's stirring up the pie)

GO Clark! (though you need to come up with a more concrete platform and get out there more, you're losing people because you haven't really done anything to distinguish yourself...but i think you've got a good shot)

Go Kerry! (because i really do think he has a lot to say and could be an effective leader but his window of opportunity is beginning to look like it's closing)

and everyone else...drop the fuck out of the race so we can have some real debates. sniping about each other only serves to confuse and fragment your potential voters.
this means you lieberman, you stupid schlub. give up censor boy!

and now, i must move forward.
fuck you and your haikus.
and those are the facts, jack.

red rover, red rover, let bushie come over.

not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.

so i'll huff and i'll puff and i'll blow your house down!

shiver me timbers, we got ourselves an avalanche?

nuts!

blow me down!

upchuck your numbchucks!

make sure you're alive for arbor day!


and so it goes
another inconsequentional thing you are still somewhat curious about


patterns are evil

Artie Shaw has nothing to do with this

i just remembered what word i really liked the other day.

Artifice.

not only is it fun to say but it's a cool word and looks awesome too.

i do not want guacamole.

the bottom of my left foot hurts.

it's kind of chilly right now.

hace frios!

that is a spanish phrase i recently learned.

i'm drinking a vodka tonic right now but i'm not sure i'm liking it.

i drink it anyway.

we return to transylvania.

patsy cline sure must have gotten stomped on in relationships. that's what like all of her songs are about. damn, patsy, who were these fucks you were letting fuck you? cuz that's what it always comes down to, which guys you let fuck you.

not that i'm a woman of course.

my kitty, the kitty, loves pot. and since i'm smoking some right now, she is moving closer to me. while patsy is playing.
it's 5:27 p.m.

pacific time of course.

there are cheap flights to london on sale right now and you've got to go before march 2004.
i am thinking of just fucking purchasing one and going in like february. cuz march, i'll be going to miami. through british airways, though lufthansa has deals right now too.

hmmm, maybe i'll take a look.

i fucking hate kings of leon so much.
they suck ass.

scowling southern rock.

i received $242 from the state of california.
that is fine.

pussy.

my butt is unhappy today. somebody needs a colonic.

i bought a book today. i'm so trendy.
"Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them" by Al Franken.

i'm excited to read it. hardcover even. buttcake.

the tropic of cancer is so much better than the tropic of capricorn.
fuck the tropic of capricorn.

at least you're alive.


and now, a private transcript between a friend that i'm releasing to all you eager beaver muffins!!


hey! how are you....

My swingset is ass-cool

dead, six feet under
they buried me today.
fucking rigor mortis sucks

damn.

oh well, can't win 'em all

I'll find out you really did die hours ago and i'll have a modern ghost story on my hands

tim pratt radio rules so much. the theme from "alice" just came on

To a goalie...its a save, save save

i purchased a book today. i'm so trendy

books are a fad
I just listen to idiots

i'm so san francisco. take a guess what i purchased...yeah, books are a fad

ooooh...a reader....youre soooo cool.

soon to be replaced by ionosphere holograms
the ionosphere is a lot better than the stratosphere

It saves our ass

fuck the tropic of capricorn too

asses

tropic of cancer rules

asssssessssss
Trop. O cancer is solid

which book did i buy

5:35 PM - Its my tropic

hadassah head

and i'll cry if i want to

I milked her

i wish leiberman would go away. he's ruining everything
fucking give up you stupid chump

I love your hate for Leiberman

he's a schlub

Brooks and Dunn are on....Those guys are awesome. im watching the CMAs.

that's unfortunate

still no tv

its fun. They are all retarded

i think this is the longest i've gone in my entire life without a tv

im as addicted to it as any drug fiend

i miss it the most just for news, but i read so much

i should limit my usage. i went a summer w/out

my tv died in early july

i missed some stuff, but was pretty happy w/out it.

so 4 months

april to september for me

listened to talk radio late night
that's perversely fun too

5:40 PM - so tickets from san francisco direct to london heathrow, if you purchase by tomorrow, are seriously $200 roundtrip. with taxes and shit, it's like $265 but fuck. i just have to go before march 2004. i think i may just fucking get it and pick an arbitrary date in february
and make myself go
with no agenda. best way i work
direct flight, btw
i'm feeling the call

London. Calling

tis true. in fact, i think me just stating it like that decided it for me. sweet. a classic tim pratt move.

I need to travel too....its important

i made this decision in the last hour....more than ever.
so if i buy the ticket, it will force me to immediately get my passport, which i need to do. and i have a flex schedule and i'm sure i can find someone to stay with or do the hostel thing

I love the idea of England

going over all my music of late, partly because of the dj thing, i realized the staggering amount of music i've liked in mylife and britain is by far and away on top.

$265???

i mean, i just feel like i can't not go. and i'm sure i can potentially hook up some dj gigs and writing things too

crazy...direct flight from SF? That's insane

yeah, and now BART goes to SFO. tina and i did it when we went to grand rapids. i still prefer oakland because it's clsoer...but to europe, you have to go SFO

when are you gonna buy your ticket?

i have to buy it by tomorrow

i'm thinking february...you have to go on M-T-W only
5:45 PM - feb will be enough time to get my shit together
and march i'm going back to miami
i dunno...it just feels right

winter...booked for TimmmiP

ha
the book i bought was the al franken book

London would be awesome. You of all people should see london and break your continental cherry

yeah, i know
and i know i can do it on the cheap
fuck, if i could get some dj gigs...man
i know of people to call and at least try

that's kind of illegal eh?

illegal?

if they pay you. Right?

shit. I don't know
how so? not like they'd be paying me with a check anyway

yeah. forget I said it.....
i get bogged down in details

today i was paid $75 to go to an office downtown, follow a specific script, and cancel my capital one credit card
i'm not joking

more
i'm hooked
dutell

what you mean?

tell me about that

ha ha.
sometimes i feel like jerry when kramer called him "even steven." i always end up breaking even because..
as you know my hours got cut by aol as of cotober 1, but because of a variety of reasons, i've made up for the loss of cash
the vegas dj gig paid $$$, not covering an entire week's pay
i'm getting to the thing today....

ha

then the extra days allowed me to go to grand rapids and do the family thing...free trip and all
and then the guy that was supposed to split the hours with me got hired by google.
and so last week i worked 40 hours by default.
then! this week, i'm back down the drudgery of the 20-hour work week...and lo and behold, yesterday
i get an email from this dude who i responded to via a craigslist ad (that site rules btw) about some focus group type thing and to respond if you have capital one credit cards or another kind i can't recall.
but this was like a few weeks ago and i forgot about it, because you only hear back on those things maybe 20 percent of the time, because of the high volume of response
so i go into this office this afternoon, BECAUSE i only worked half a day, and have to call capital one and say i'm canceling and see how low they'll go on my rate.

for this company doing research on how low credit card companies will go on their APRs
and it depends if you go in saying you want to "cancel" versus you seek a "APR rate change." the dude told me they always give bigger rate discounts on people who go in saying they want to cancel.
so i had to follow a specific script, though i was able to embellish some, and refuse three different attempts by them to win me back

that's fascinating...actually

it was more fun than i would have imagined. and the dude told me that you should call your credit card companies every six months to try and get a lower rate

it's like an acting job

and always go in saying you're going to cancel because other companies are giving lower rates

i bet you felt empowered by the idea it was kind of a put on

i had to ask about balance transfers and shit like that too. yeah, acting..but part of the deal to get the money is you HAVE to cancel your card, so i cancelled my card....
but i didn't mind because i rarely use that card
pretty fucking funny.

do you wonder where i am now?

Fab Five ___Day (because it's not actually "friday," i didn't want to assume and attempt to put "friday" in said space, hence the absence of the actually letters denoting specific day of the week. now do go about your business and please don't be rude).


Yep,�the FFF is�back on again (even if it is Monday today, it's Friday somewhere in the universe, right?).

So what the fuck has tim been doing and why has he neglected something he was just starting?
During the last few weeks, I traveled to both Las Vegas and Grand Rapids for DJ gigs, family action and general happy funtime; celebrated my birthday on Oct. 18; and began prep work for a book i'm working on. I no lie. I apple-gize for being away, lost in my own confusion.

So to bring you up to speed, here's a quick version of Fab Five ___Day, #3-#4.

THE TOPS

1. The Shins "Chutes Too Narrow" - Shiny happy, hook-laden indie pop at its finest. Seriously addictive record. You must get it or weep.

2. Favorite Recent Quote: "Are you going to be playing '80s music?" while playing Run DMC's "It's Like That" at the Paris Hotel in Vegas.
"Uh, this is '80s music," i replied.
"Oh," she replied, puzzled. "Not rap, but, you know, '80s music."

3. "Money Success Fame Glamour" - Felix Da Housecat vs. Pop Tarts from "Party Monster" soundtrack. So gleefully glitzy and�over the top, i just can't stop listening to this track. Plus it's got Macaulay Culkin (as Michael Alig) & Chloe Sevigny yelling the chorus over and over.

4. Psychonauts "Song For Creatures" (International Deejay Gigolo) - is it rock-infused electronic music or is it rock fused with electronic? Maybe both.�Either way, i dig this record's meandering, melancholy path it takes. This is one album you want to keep listening to see what they do next.

5. Dia de los Muertos celebration in Oakland - A day to celebrate and respect the dead - a centuries old tradition in many Latino cultures.
What a concept. Instead of living in denial about death, Latin cultures confront it and give it up for peeps no longer hanging out on earth. Of course, in many parts of the country, this would likely be construed as some sort of Satanic ritual.

6. Broadcast "HaHa Sound" (Warp)This an awesome record, sort of reminding me of Stereolab but more IDMish and with some Holly Golightly-style retro yet new garage vibes. Quiet, angular audio shards, soothing female vocals and stark acoustic guitars provide the basis for much of of it.

7. Snow Patrol "Final Straw" (Polydor) - Off kilter electro acoustic rock from the UK. Strangely hypnotic and sort of unfolds slowly, as if you're listening to the record in slow motion.

8. Amy Winehouse "Frank" - Combining the warped jazzy vibe of Billie Holiday, the sassy hip-hoppiness�of Erykah Badu and the deep funk�and soul of Aretha Franklin, Winehouse's debut sparkles from start to finish. You won't believe this voice comes from a white British girl. I expect her to blow up in 2004.

9. Nick Drake "Five Leaves Left" (Island) - It's crazy to realize this album came out in 1970. Spooky, stark, eloquent and intense, Nick Drake was SO ahead of his time, especially on tracks like "Time Has Told Me," "River Man" and "Three Hours" - all of which give me the chills.

10. The Simpsons Halloween Special - Still the funniest, most consistently subversive show on television. Matt groening rocks.


Negatives
- 1. The Christmas onslaught - already. I've spotted some Christmas decorations here and there, as well as heard some holiday music.
Alright! Let's be pressured to spend money on ludicrous gifts to get the economy moving!
Maybe Santa Claus is being paid off by the GOP. I'm sure ol' Saint Nick appreciated those tax breaks.

- 2. Jessica Simpson - She's not sexy, has no brain and can't sing. Plus she stinks. Kick her off the planet.

-3. Kobe Bryant - I'm so tired of celebrity sports figures getting away with murder or, in this case, "alleged" rape. Kobe makes me sick.

-4. The GOP - For their continuously evil, fascist ways.
Destroy America. Vote Republican.

-5. The new Iggy Pop album "Skull Ring." I realize he's like the king of punk rock thanks to his affiliation with the Stooges but this is just bad revisionist bullshit that nobody needs to hear. Plus Iggy just looks so gross. The picture of him sticking his tongue out in the new album almost made me vomit.


Hace Frio! (i'm cold)
Hace Calour! (i'm hot)
ay dios mios! (oh my god!)


well, here's some more interesting things that i've come across of late. read them and poon.


bob guiney aka "the bachelor" "girlfriend" - yeah, the same dolt who's one that bad show i've never seen.
i would never buy this song in a million years but it's better than say, clay aiken. sounds more like singer-songwriter matchbox 20 type pop-rock. better than american idol pop, but not much.


things i liked as a kid: books, reading, shoplifting, music, pop culture, news, movies, elbows


cds: johs wink "profound sounds v.2" (ovum)
rem - best of rem
rob zombie - past, present, future
soft cell - live
luke vibert - yoseph
moodymann - silence in the secret garden
martina topley-bird
cosmic rocker - mirrors and windows
bon jovi - wanted dead or alive 2003
vocab (good vibe)
bluegrass tribute to metallica
emiliana torrini - "rarities" - never heard of her before, not bad whispery vocals off beat rock, pretty good actually.
grace jones "private life: the compass point sessions"

some potential hardcore liberal bumperstickers for 2004

exercise your 2nd amendment rights on a conservative.
they'll thank you for it. they'll be with jesus even sooner than planned.

Fuck the GOP
GOP are evildoers
Down with Dubya
the GOP is ruining America.
Republicans suck.
Fuck Republicans.
Exercise your 2nd amendment rights on a Republican today.
America used to be beautiful, until the Republicans took over.
Republicans are selfish thugs.
�
hypocricy = GOP
Money is the TRUE God of the GOP.

Republicans are weak ass bitches.


puta/puto

lamentations

Cherrywine - November 15 at Elbo Room.
And speaking of deluded cokeheads (which we were, you just weren't there to hear that part of the conversation --- but trust me, it was real like solid and stuff), Rapper Cherrywine, formerly known as "Butterfly" in Digable Planets plays in San Francisco. Maybe ol' Butterfly can explain why the promising hip-hop trio imploded and blew
any chance at a long-term career. Better yet, listen to the godawful
album he released earlier this year, which has a decent chance
of being as bad as "Kish Kash." Too much cocaine, my friends, too much
damn cocaine. Remember kids, cocaine and creativity do not mix.

so i listened to the new iggy pop today....well, part of it.
i don't care how much of an influence he is on punk, he fucking sucks.
his songs are retarded. he can't sing at all.
he's gross too. just what i want to see, his tiny pointy little tongue sticking out from his craggy, pockmarked face. please, do some more heroin.
�
this reverential iggy revival of late reminds me of a few years
ago, when the record companies created this supposed "buzz" that tony
bennett, burt bacharach and tom jones are "hip again," yet i
could never find ANYONE who actually thought that way, other than
super duper ironic hipsters and even then, it seemed more like a joke than
anything else, they didn't REALLY think tony, burt and tom were cool
again.just like iggy.
and i'd really like to know how "cool" it is to collaborate with
Sum 41, green day and peaches�on your latest "comeback record."
�
ok, i acknowledge the fact that the stooges influenced many a
punk band but that was more than 35 years ago!
ok, some people say he can rock. ok, whatever.
he grosses me out.
maybe it's a personal problem.

or maybe it's your problem.

sphincto

here is the text from the missive i recently sent out to racist skinheads everywhere concerning the party that happened last evening.
it was a fine party indeed, yes'm.
and yes ma'am.


Throw away your methadone, avoid the quagmire that is the Castro on Halloween night, slap on your most imaginative costume imaginable and get your sweet, fine asses down to LiPo Lounge for.....

OPIUM DEN II - Chase The Dragon
Friday, Oct. 31, 9 p.m. to 2 a.m.
LiPo Lounge, 916 Grant Ave. SF
DJs/Public Instigators: Jai Young Kim & Tim Pratt (because we care)
Visual stimulants by: Chris Pew & Jamie Hunt (they care too)

Only $5 cover, 21+
soooo inexpensive, you'll have extra money in your wallet to spend on alcohol, "snacks" and other frivolous items.
Costumes are required for entry (though we do take bribes and possibly Gideon bibles with pentagrams carved into the cover).

Music: Many fine tunes of proper ass-shaking manner including: spooky Halloween audio trickery, glitzy synth-laden electro, ironic '80s epics, irresistible indie ilk and lots of sardonic sweeteners and tempting treats.

EVENT FAQ
Q: Are costumes REALLY required?
A: Of course, foolish questioners. Especially since the cranky Chinese owners have been to daily showings of Tarantino's "Kill Bill" for the last three weeks. Those swords behind the counter aren't just for show. In other words, if you arrive un-costumed, you may qualify to be an adjunct member of the Phantom Limbs.

to recap...
Opium Den II - Chase The Dragon
Friday, October 31, 9 p.m. to 2 a.m.
The LiPo Lounge, 916 Grant Ave. SF
$5 cover, 21+

ummmmm...oh yeah..

HAIL SATAN!