Thursday, January 17, 2002

Pond Lap of Destruction
dateline: Wed., Jan. 16, morning

"Now you can whisper how you really feel to your deaf boyfriend"

That�s a real sign I saw on Bart yesterday.

How to fuck up royally

Go to bar with friends.
Stay much longer than you planned.
Put your bag containing pants under you seat in the bar.
Leave with not a lot of time to spare.
Go all the way to bart station several blocks away, wait 10 minutes, then realize you forgot your bag back in the bar.
Beg Bart attendant to let you go get your bag without having to pay.
Walk back to bar in silence.
Obtain said bag.
Walk back to bart station.
Wait another 10 minutes
Get on Bart.
Relax too much by falling asleep and missing your stop at Fruitvale, instead waking up at the next stop at the Oakland Coliseum.
Wait outside in the cold for another 12 minutes waiting for a train to take you back to your stop.
Take train to Fruitvale.
Get off.
Walk briskly, in silence, the six blocks back home.
Crawl into bed.
The end.

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