pork and ham chowder looks good in the summer
is the word rad out of date? or is it back in, like ghetto blasters are back in?
today i heard a fellow use the word rad in random conversation and i got to thinking, now there's a word that i was recently thinking about and i don't really know if it's a good thing or a bad thing.
as in, is it non-hip to use it?
or is it hip to use it?
i cannot tell. damn you all to hell and then some.
so of late, i have been not feeling so uppity on the writing tip. i've already spoken about it, but i feel the need to express that idea again. but fuckpig banana, i need to do this. i need to keep on keepin on.
shit and fuck and damn and hell and all those other words that bible thumpers tell us are bad bad bad.
yeah yeah yeah. i don't give a damn about vietnam.
people often tell me i am the human personification of booty bass.
but those people could after all be wrong.
hell, do something.
charlie says "love my good and plenty"
i have money in my wallet. guess how much?
guess! damn you guess guess guess guess.
ok, you don't have to guess.
$120 --- whooooo!
yea, i'm rich. i'm famous.
so the hot new thing in LA these days is free winona shirts. i want one.
even though i already have a "free robert downey jr." t-shirt.
i rule and stuff.
everytime i look at puppets, i start to feel gross. what have those puppets been doing? and why are they doing it?
and who do they think they are, those puppets?
they don't know me? why should they care about what i have to say?
or do? or anything?
it's all a bunch of nonsense and hooeee.
or patchouli. and i probably didn't spell that right.
ok, i just went back and now i think it's right.
stream of consciousness for your oven baked goods.
speaking of ovens, last night i hung for about 7 minutes with Miranda. She has a 3 month old baby named jasper. that baby is damn cute.
and in case you were wondering, jasper is a girl.
babies are always cute, i realize this. ok, some babies are in fact ugly but nobody ever actually says "damn, that baby is fucking ugly!"
i mean, i'd like to say that many times but i don't.
if i had my druthers....
what the hell does "if i had my druthers" actually mean?
after all, i just used.
i think it means "if i had things my way" or "if i ran the earth" or "god doesn't have shit on me. i'm going to coldcock his ass on a plate of rice and sushi"
one of those things.
actually, i should have referred to god as "His" because jesus stuff should always be capitalized.
i just saw the cover of the new vanity fair magazine.
not that i ever actually read vanity fair.
but bushy and his cronies (colin powell, dick cheney and not from "an undisclosed location" and talking out tha side his mouth and shit).
basically, it's a photo essay on da faux prez and his boobs hanging with him.
best pic of the bunch has to be a super tight shot of bush himself, in black and white.
so bizarre, this photo.
besides seeing all the lines in his face (he looks remarkably well for, shit how old is he...56?), one thing really stood out: his monobrow.
yep, he has a monobrow. not super distinct, but definitely there.
a good makeup job in the chair does wonders for hiding the thing, but it is most certainly there.
seems as though he gets his nose hairs trimmed though, because i didn't see any strays sticking out.
me, i just yank the fuckers out with tweezers (i love the word "twee" - i need to use that more in conversation or something) or even better, with my toes.
but that can be difficult.
the fire engines in san francisco are really loud. like LOUD LOUD LOUD.
and my hearing is not as good as it was yesterday, which is a long time ago in dog years.
much like dog eared books.
but that's another melody.
i actually have to cover my ears when the damn things rol by, which is often downtown. apparently, there are a Hell of a lot of people lighting themselves on fire these days.
or maybe it's spontaneous combustion.
you can never tell.
i knew a man once who spontaneously combusted and then came back.
he reformed his ashes together, unlike arthur ashe, though he looked a little funny second time around.
remember that movie "once around?" i think it starred richard dreyfuss.
you don't? i just remember the title.
as if on cue, the fucking fire engines are rolling by as i type this. yeah yeah yeah!!! whhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
as i was saying, back to the matter at hand, before i was rudely interrupted, back in the day i used to smoke kind now i rock rhymes go around the globe.
once around...bad film, even though i don't remember a goddamn thing other than the title.
funny thing, for some odd reason (ok, everything happens for an odd reason in the world of tim pratt but shut up)
i always remembered some lame ass movie with meg ryan and fuck, it was some sort of time travel movie or about something hanging with old people and exchanging bodies or something like that...anyway...the old man was asked one thing he would have told his younger self and he said "floss."
ever since i saw that, i've remembered it.
and that's one reason why i've become so obsessive about flossing.
although now i have an electric toothbrush and so it's getting even more teeth gunk off.
i love that shit. easy to brush with an electric kind.
and it cleans my teeth better.
see, isn't dental talk so much fun yo?
ok, now i have to find out the name of the movie.
it's on the tip of my headlamp....
"prelude to a kiss"
thank you All Movie Guide.
you rule the land.
i knew i was right.
1992 film starring gal pal meg ryan and alec baldwin.
according to this, meg was born in November 1961.
in fairfield, Conn.
so, meg is .....41.
for some reason, she seems older than that.
doesn't it seem like she's been around for a super long time?
hmmmm, i'll have to think about this some more.
oh so i gotta run real quicklike but i hope to continue our conversation later frankenfurter.
but i gotta tell you this fuckstains.
so saturday, in a long night of shitty music (wait till you hear about memory man..oh MY GOD! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhh!)
but that's another story, jesus boy.
as me was sayin'
my pal amy sarver sent me an email about some party in which you go ask this dude on the corner of 5th and mission sitting in a wheel chair where this party is.
i was right by 5th and mission earlier in the evening with mr. rolls, but didn't stop then.
that was before we went to see kid666 and his flunkies at peacock lounge (a real gem of a bar, if you ask small people wearing goggles and shoehorns around their waist).
later on that shit.
so i go back later on and ask the dude on corner in the wheelchair (he wasn't actually disabled...just sitting in a chair that's mobile, see?...well here's the actual conversation.
"where's this party, yo?
"shit man, fuck. how we do. glung. uncle. ok, here's what you do....you go up a block to market and 5th and find the dude wearing the black SF 49ers hat and...
ok pigs, longer letter later.
activity, for heaven's sake>
alright, ok, feeling fine, 909.
fudge and stuff.
fudge is a fun word to say, don't you think?
i think so.
say it for me one time "FUDGE!!!!"
i'm cool. s'all good.
elaine would be upset about my extraordinary overindulgence of the exclamation points.
yes. fortunately, she is a fictional character.
therefore, i'm clean.
so, you want to know what happened?
first, important developments have been made in the field of technological warfare.
but that's not really all that important.
i had a healthy and satisfying walk down Geary street this fine evening.
wasn't so cold as to feel like you want to stay in your nice warm bed all day with the heater blasting in your face and cuddly purring kitties on each side of you.
so i was, pleased.
quite a thing.
that's what i like.
people doing stuff.
all around you.
everybody's got their own agenda.
their own thing.
you may cross paths with that person again.
especially here. as in, here here. where we live.
where i live.
right, or you may not encounter that person, that fellow human being, ever again in your lifetime.
that person you talked to tonight,
awright....enough with the melodramatics.
took the 38 bus up geary to leavenworth, then walked uphill several blocks to california to pick up that one thing that i needed to pick up because i left it there the previous evening.
so i went there.
being disembodied and all makes things a bit interesting, i must admit.
but i get by.
gorgeousness all around
big big bigger bigger still.
i need some radiohead, kid a. i heard it earlier and now i can't get it out of my head. it's toward the end of the cd.
i just tried to look it up but the damn thing's not responding.
what i was describing was a sort of simplified version of what i encountered on the way to a pal's house who lives on california near leavenworth.
motion motion motion.
i was at the bus stop and overheard this girl, in a super harsh irish accent and fairly young...maybe 22...talking to her just-as-tiny asian girlfriend, first about how she always blew the smoke away from her friend, and then proceeded to show her by blowing outside the little bustop wall.
then she talked about the homeless people and how aggressive a lot of them were.
and that she was eating a burger and fries, i'm assuming right around there (there...meaning powell, stockton, geary...downtown shopping area) at one of the shit fast food joints down there.
anyway, the guy got right in her face and wouldn't go away. kept staring and or bugging her.
of course, i was eavesdropping and found it to be quite humorous, so i spoke up...
because, many people like an audience and/or don't care if someone else listens in (i know i don't and it happens to me fairly regularly so why not return the favor?)
i ask her what she did and she tells me that she bought the guy an entire meal "and i dont' have a fookin' moneyy" with that lovely irish lilt (i love the way they talk)
pretty funny, only because she says she felt like she was forced to do it.
this girl was hilarious.
but then the bus came, they sat in the back of the bus, i sat in front, and that was that.
and there you go.
nothing necessarily noteworthy..just all interesting to me.
fascinating is better word.
thinking about that everything you hear could be interepreted as music in some way.
what is it about sound?
combined with motion?
these are all basic theories, i realize, but well...where to even begin? my god...
so moving, speed, all that is an obsession. nonstop. constant. i'm down.
plus it was nice to notice that planet hollywood has been shut down. next to virgin records.
where i ran into the one guy i kind of liked in the 2-3 days i worked there (i can't specifically remember, only because i had some sort of orientation here and there...i worked there in early september, right after i got back from burning man).
even better, the guy...i don't remember his damn name....yet we're friendly enough acquaintences that we chatted for a good 5 to 6:30 minutes.
yeah yeah., shut the fuck up you say.
i am, and yeah.
alrighty, well i'm going to have to continue this shit elsewhere, because i gots to be getting home homey home.
cause it's late late late.
and things are happening happening happening.
and yes ma'am, i will conclude this wondrous and joyous story.
about the guy in the wheelchair and also...the party.
that really wasn't all that good of a party.
eat elbow hands and gruff sidewinders,
your governing legislative board,
so sayeth the shepherd......
so sayeth the flock.......