If a dolt shoots himself in the head and nobody cares, did he actually exist?
Today is open casket day! I do declare. All you closed caskets, get on open! You know who you are.
Another important quote heard in the mission the other day: "I feel death circulating all around me."
I'm about to have some toast. It's white bread. Does this mean I'm racist? I think so.
Ok, what else can we talk about?
Yesterday, a smiling fellow standing near the Montgomery BART stop in SF was hawking boxes of Crispy Creme donuts. Entire boxes. And he had a bunch of them. I was taken aback. I cried.
I nearly vomited on the sidewalk in fear for my life.
Luckily, I was chewing Carefree. Whoo, what a load off.
Speaking of loads, I hereby declare that certain people are called "Whaler" behind their back. I'm sorry.
My toast is now finished but The Kitty is licking my right hand as i type, making it difficult to retrieve that damn toast. Man, if only I was back in Nam. These things wouldn't be happening.
Of course, I was dead when Nam was going on. At least initially. I was born during the Nixon era, when men were men and women were cleverly-packaged frankfurters selling for $1.99 a package.
My, how times have changed.
I need to be writing my best of 2001 right about now. So you best be not frontin.
For those about to rock, we salute dad.
Does anybody have any saddlebags they can give me? Please mumia, please.
I never liked Casper The Friendly Ghost. How do we know he was REALLY friendly? Maybe he was a mean ghost who liked to fuck with people's heads for kicks.
Of course, he had a good gig going on with the whole Harvey Comics hook-up.
Maybe it was the cash that was keeping him friendly.
You know, i certainly wish I had a buttermilk biscuit right about now. Unfortunately, I'll have to settle for a sour milk biscuit, which are nearly as good.
If you don't like Mondays and aren't Bob Geldof.
By the way, fuck Bob Geldof. the Boomtown Rats were not good.
And so what, he started Live Aid. does anybody remember Live Aid besides me?
Does anybody remember laughter? Don Knotts does.
As does the Ghost and Mr. Chicken. They fucked over Casper in that deal.
Paper mache people rule, especially without the accent.
Too bad my face is distorted. I would have made a great kidney.
Ah well, at least I have my bile to hang onto.
Since when did jazz become electronic music?
Oh yeah, since always.
I need to stop burping my Thai food I ate today or I'm going to fall off the earth.
Peeing freely before eating four pieces of toast is an important ritual in every mammal's life.
I can't wait till I get my period. Right after the exclamation point maturation.
It's November 6. Do you have any idea how many parties you've missed this year? Damn.
I hope I'm never flayed. That would be very sad for me.
Though he's an easy target, Michael Jackson deserves a good flaying. Maybe it would help him.
Or maybe the world would find out that Michael and LaToya are the same person.
Ass grinder....everybody sing along now.
another new album on the top 10 i forgot: prefuse 73
i done forgot to post this here post. i not so cool right now.
people don't like me because of the color of my fur.
you love madagascar.