So I have a roommate that likes to put used band-aids on my soap. Yes, you read that correctly.

Unless you're blind. Then you can't read what's on the screen.

Last night, Happy must have cut his finger doing something stupid, since he is, in fact, stupid.
Blood was in the wastebasket.
We had just returned from a lovely trip to Fat Albertsons' for groceries and na na na, gonna have a good time...hey hey hey.

I was putting away my dental tape, new toothpaste, new toothbrush and softsoap when all of a sudden, I was blinded. After several minutes of knocking things off the shelves, I figured out that i had to pry my eyes open with a hammer.

Once that was accomplished, I saw the nasty-ass band-aid on top of our soap. luckily, the soap was unopened, but still...why would you leave a used band-aid on somebody's soap? here's an idea..how about throwing it away?

tina left him a super-nasty note. happy is like a fucking child. and we've got to stop him, at all costs.
god, what an idiot. i'd sure like to kick him to the curb.
some might say i'm harsh. but you don't live with the oaf.

this is the same guy who is:
- 38 years old.
- spins happy hardcore and 10-year-old rave tunes
- is the dirtiest person i've ever witnessed
- keeps his toothbrush sitting on a dusty shelf where his food is stored.
- has his entire turntable set-up covered with chicken wire so the kitties or anyone else won't fuck with it
used to keep a knife pointing upward sticking out of a box to defend against kitty's invading. yeah, that's a great idea. have a knife sticking straight up so the cats can learn a lesson.
- is the loudest walker (i.e. stomper) i've ever heard.
- is the cheapest mother fucker i've ever met
- saves more shit than i do. never throws anything away.
- has a picture of him with tonya harding up in all seriousness.

as you can see, i adore this man. i must go eat food and replenish my soul. for tomorrow, i go to kandahar.

in merriment,
Clownie the Angry Boy

Eat tofu cereal today!