Saturday, November 24, 2001


Ha, funny. Yeah, so very funny. Everything is funny, right?
Yeah, man. Everything is so funny.
it is 2:24 in the a.m. of saturday and i have just concluded watching Planet Of The Apes, the new version by Tim Burton. Interesting film, that's for sure. Special effects were quite a sight and to be honest, the film was better than what many of the reviews said.
However, the film itself was just ok, the story...ok, i dunno. It wasn't bad, but i wasn't going "whoa" like joey lawrence at the end or anything.

Maybe things would be better if i were an ape. I know i could at least solve world hunger. Or let uncle sam take care of it. Because, as you know, ol' uncle sam takes care of everything.

Praise be, i think i've finally figured out the nuances of my cd burner that i got for my birthday some weeks ago. Yes, indeedy. the whole conversion process to aif files is what was puzzling me before. that and the disk to disk thing. now i realize that's an ok way to do it for slow speeds but when you extract from the hard drive, you can fill the damn disk all the way up with extras yo mumford.
and that be right done sensual or at least highly preferred. that be said on this day.

However, strange things are definitely afoot with my loveable iMac. Fuck. the damn thing keeps shutting down, well...i don't think the kensington mouse is too down with the microsoft keyboard, which is made for a pc. but i dig on the split keyboard scene, and frankly, i'm not really down with the roller ball anymore. maybe i should move on to a new mouse and figure out the new cool deal.
but the mouse isn't really the problem. nay, the problem lies in the controversy between outlook, which shuts down now all the fucking time, whenever i try to send and/or receive mail. i'm not sure if the problem is with hotmail, earthlink (who i should fucking cancel but i've been too lazy to do so) or a conflict with, what i think is the other potential culprit, microsoft office....specifically microsoft word, since that's what i primarily use.

tina had a good point today in that she said "ah so tim, have you been backing up your hard drive? probably not?" yes, tina always likes to keep me in check. god bless us everyone.
of course i hadn't. so that's a thing on top of my list, much like being on top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese. she lost her poor meatball, when somebody sneezed.

as i was saying, ahem....hard drive backing up, number one priority. number two is clearing up the stinking hard drive of all the damn dirty apeshit on there, fucking up my scene and making my life...well, not necessarily a living hell, but certainly an annoying situation that i'd prefer to avoid.

and dammit, we have these fucking things in our home, sharing our space and taking up our time so we can communicate, be a part of the world and be hip and cool and down and wow and ooh eeeh ooh ah ah ching chang, wally wally bing bang.

i must now attend to my just-finished burned cd. please make a note of this moment in your report for posterity's sake, whatever the hell that phrase means.

looks like we have a winner maestro. and thank you for playing. remove your ball cap before entering this ball park mister, for tomorrow we enjoy swiss cheese with our raw bread. nothing i like better than raw bread.

my stomach hurts

it is cold right now. it is raining right now....suddenly, i don't need the answer..but ahh-uhuh-hai, i'm ready to stay on my own with you.
those lyrics are probably bastardized some, but i was attempting to sing in my head the lyrics to olivia newton-john's favorite "suddenly."

ah, ONJ..i had a minor crush on her for about 3 minutes back in the 70s. i never really wanted to get on her during the whole Grease thing (which of course, in 1978, meant i didn't even have a fucking clue as to "getting on someone" was even about, though I knew it had something to do with pillows, a bed and sharing private part twingling), but i always thought she was kind of hot. Maybe i dug her voice, which had a kind of sexiness to it.
I know my dad liked ONJ....maybe he was wanting some of that action. but he was mad cause john travolta was smitten, after a torpid love affair during, oh those summer nights. i never was down with john travolta. he was always a putz to me. he wasn't cool with his "greased lightning" fuck that fatty oaffish dianetics freakazoid.

but as i was talking know, that afar shit, where upon people sort of think they possibly just might have a chance of getting down even one time with that lost love. sure we know all about that right? come on grandma, get on it.

dunno where that shit comes from man.
i just keep on feeling love like donna summer, another 70s diva, though my feelings for her were much different.

see, with ol donna, i was kind of afraid of her. I guess when she hit her peak, maybe 1978-1980, she was on top of the world and all that, but there was something about her did not like. i never totally trusted donna. she seemed a little too mean for my tastes. and god knows, i was all about being nonmean when i was that age.

my meaness didn't come till later, a combination of being forced to attend a baptist school against my will during a critical age in life (7th grade, at age 11) and the fact that my home was invaded every day by the kids my mom took care of. at one point, it was like a monster scene.

ha, funny, you know, something just occurred to me which i have to go off with a bit. see, i'm aware that i do pretty well in social situations. and when my mom took care of all these kids, many of them were only a few years younger than me. and it was during this time, every day after school, when i felt the most in charge, the most comfortable.

because it was my domain, my turf and the kids were generally sort of afraid of me, because i was tough, hardcore, sometimes mean (usually latent aggression from being picked on at school...i was the sort of the runt ..everybody picked on me there, so i took out that anger on the kids my mom took care of). but somehow, at some point, the kids respected me and i them....well, some of them...but we learned to get along....with a wide variety of people.

in a way, i think being in that situation gave me confidence i needed at a critical time, it helped me work in a social situation, working as a mediator between folks and also, learning to communicate period. how to interact. with a wide variety of people. embracing your differences rather than freak out about it.

fucked up. fucked up how different things in your childhood really do have a gigantor impact on your behavior later in life. freaky.

it's also odd that the things that remain the strongest part of my childhood memories aren't necessarily the things i devoted so much of my time toward. i remember odd things, random things,...yet for the majority of the memories, they are things that i have drawn upon and remembered and used later...or had a laugh at my own expense.

mr. rolls, and seofon and I were having this sort of conversation the other evening, the idea of memory. what its use and purpose is. how it works. the constant accummulation of more and more memory. constantly.

as in, the things stored in your memory as your reading this now will be slightly altered by the point at which you finish this sentence. hmmm.

i wrote a lead once for a story on younger funeral directors and it simply said "you're dying."
followed up by a thing about being "every minute you're alive,you're one minute closer to dying." such a simple thought, yet funny how sometimes the simplest of things can make the most sense.
memory is a great thing, it helps you become a stronger and more intelligent person.

unfortunately, there's a downside to that. = time.

so let's all get together and dwell on the time issue.

not really.

though i did always envy the people in movies who got to travel in time, like in the film i just viewed, "Planet of the Apes" (the new and improved Tim Burton edition!)....marky mark wahlberg accidentally travels through time...da future....wherin he comes upon a world where apes rule, all derived from the genetically altered intelligent chimps from 2029, that crashlanded on the ape planet when it went through some fucking portal of some kind. anyway, marky mark fights back against the damn dirty apes and crazy antics ensue, with kris kristofferson getting taking out early (just like in "blade").
MM finds his old ship and realizes that it crashlanded on the planet thousands of years earlier searching for marky mark. this is how the ape population was supposedly started, because marky mark was a chimp trainer and the ship had tons of genetically altered chimps.

marky makes everyone realize that we can all live together, apes and humans, and then his ol chimp pal comes flying in on the pod ship and then, coool, marky mark gets to go back to modern times earth, heads to DC. crashlands on the washington monument. and then, ooooh, the wacky ending, ol' honest abe is now some general and then the ape cops and fbi descend on him.

oooooh, outta control. what will happen in the sequel???

i don't know why i told that story, other than to illustrate my point that I don't understand how a future event could alter the past, unless he traveled back through the portal but in the wrong dimension ( understandable...i've done it before myself),orrrr...he didn't actually go far enough back into the past and at some point, the smart apes took over and kicked all us damn dirty humans to curb. maybe that's why humans had to kickit out in space in the future...those fucking apes kick our shit outta here.

i mean, why not? the more intelligent humans become, the more dangerous we become. hahhaaha.
another line from the movie. see, it's all part of a grand plan to brainwash my soul. those hollywood corporate bastards. damn yo.

sheeeeeeeit, and grandpa soup.

my thing about time travel is so true though.
i used to love reading books about time travel...the idea that i could stop time sounds awesome. i had this one dream in which i had a watch that could stop time and then i could do what i wanted to do, take my time and stuff, and look at some naked ladies in dressing rooms (this was at probably 8 years old-on---i was always interested in women, but this wasn't in a sexual was dirty because i wanted to see them naked).

of course, i could sleep as long as i wanted stopping time in the middle of the night, then i could start it and do things i wanted to get done at night, like reading my favorite books.

yes, i read lots of books, comic books and magazines as youngster. i remember we used to get highlights, though i never read that much. i liked national geographic world a lot, i received boys life for awhile but that sucked. my mom gave me subscriptions to some christian-related magazines like campus life (which actually wasn't all that bad). i also liked Dynamite and Supermag. god, i pray i still have some of those at home.

i think i have some of them.

i also liked books by ruch chew, beverly cleary and judy blume. in fact, i read every book by judy blume. i loved her. isn't that funny? maybe judy is an influence. ha. i haven't read any of those books in years, though. god.

well, time has certainly been catching up with me at this here moment, (damn! it's now 3:44 am. and it's raining harder now..though here in california, that means slightly harder than a drizzle)

so friday was buy nothing day. because i did next to nothing and didn't really bother to leave the house until 11 p.m. to return "Blow" with Johnny depp (and yes, it did blow. bad script, plodding story, bad editing, plot holes, uhg..not a good one, though seeing paul reubans again is a good thing.)
the only thing i purchased was that godforsaken beer. beer. beer.

so let's just jot down a few more things to talk about from the previous four days you'll find all about these answers and more of life pondering later in today's broadcast. chapped pain is appropriate.

conversation at the harbin/trip to harbin - wednesday night to thursday morning..including rain, whole foods intrigue, mushrooms, hot hot hot pool, warm pool and coolllld pool. the deer, the shoes and belt. the first attempt through the woods. remember 1993 chicago. hippy hippy hip chik.

thanksgiving morning/day - turkeys descending upon us, the walk up the mountain sun and the cat that followed us, the woman with the large dreads. the coffee shop. the drive home. the long hard day back to reality. the tasty bird..sleeping a lot. coming home, sleeping much more.
today, another sort of day. a good day. slow and low as the tempo. ow ow.

earlier: wed...last day on da job. coba bucko supremo. what to do now that all of the kids are grown up? and spending for the dam.
we hads ze dinner partee as well. mucho loco.
not good with police man
testy framework

long live crunch
eat your fair share of rice today

in memoriam,
TuppleWear T. Bok


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