Watch out for slippery nickels.

Did you ever think about who had your money before you? And where that money might have been located? It's probably better not to think about, isn't it? Kind of like not wanting to know too much about exactly how that steaming, juicy hamburger sitting on your plate got there. We just don't want to know. I know I don't want to know. Probably even scarier is knowing how processed foods are, um, processed. I'll stick to eating licorice, drinking water and chewing bark.

Isn't it fun when you're hanging out in a public restroom and you reach for the toilet paper and the damn roll won't roll? So you're forced to unravel it ply-by-ply, praying you don't pull too hard.
It sure is a lot of fun, junior.

Hotcakes are the sweet sensation sweeping the nation.
Enjoy roast beef today.