all i wanted to do was steal the goddamn mouse pad from microsoft.
i wanted to do one bad deed.
even now, as i sink ever so slowly like quicksand (a childhood fright that has since disicpated).

boards of canada, lush.
korry keeker
melissa as always
the weird bar.

west oakland.
BOC.


i so hate it when i receive super large emails.
at present i have in my inbox of yahoo...

my idiot roommate is leaving.
the oaf is leaving.
now i can emote.
now i can reveal the secrets. that must be revealed.
and they must.
the 40-year old happy hardcore dj moving to LA to find a better life.
and he shall.

people say i'm too hard on the lad. i say fuck those people.
so i'm harsh.
somebody has to be dammit.

there has to be more.
doesn't there?
there has to be more.
beyond this fetid land.
this finite area we live in.

yet the question remains...why is man the chose leader?
how did it come to this?
why does it mean anything?
nothing.
what is the point?

if there is a hell.
i'll see you there.

appropriate that nine inch nails' "heresy" is playing at the moment.

your god is dead. and no one cares.
if there is a hell.
i'll see you there.

your god is dead.
and no one cares.
if there is a hell.
i'll see you there.

this is so 1994-1995.
brings back the memories of yesteryear.
scary to think that they are, in fact, officially yesteryear, doesn't it?
scary yes.

i'm not dead though.
the kitty is here too. she lives for others.
god is dead.
and no one cares.
if there is a hell.
i'll see you there.
(i love the fuzz).

fuzz.

trent does like the treble.

chastise me all you want, i can make you kill angel fires.
as much as i criticize indie kids, i am one in many ways.

but i believe in something more.
see, it's amazing how quickly you can become shortsighted and believe the rest of the countyr believes the same way as the bay area does.
but that's not true.

my the kitty is baked right now.
it looks like that.

i'm listening to bright eyes right now.
aren't i indie?
aren't i?
aren't I?

fuck you and your horseshoe bullshit.
fuck that girl and her high handed bullshit.

that was a coool bar i went to this evening with korry keeker and melissa lane.
korry keeker, k2, triple k, not his real name.
forgot his actual last name.
moved here from bellingham washington.
dammit fuck shoehorn bitch ass mother fucker.

realize you will never see the guy who shined your shoe in detroit metropolitan airport on dec. 23, 2002, ever again.

unless i figure out the whole time portal thing,.
which is something i've been obsessed with virtually my whole life or since i was dead.
anal.

chut up.

donnie darko.
i knew i had a feeling about that movie.
i need to follow my instincts more.
a lot more.
i need to make it happen this year.
this IS the year.
this is it.
i know it.
i just do.

this is the year.

this is the year.
an_l.
_i_l_t.

shove that maker in my mace.

poon.
farmer.
moon.
harmer.

miles davis is playing now.
something funny and odd about macworld expo 2003. i love that it's 2003.
i do.
it's cool.
i am cool for living right now.
i will be envied in years to come.
even if i die before i'm supposed to.
i can always work that time paradox thing and do some shit.
that will be cool.
i can't wait to hang tight with grandma death.
you are not grandma death.
i am carpoccio.
right now i am carpoccio it would seem.
thanks to ms. tina b.
who's getting on the cross for her birthday.
that will be something.
i'm sooo excited about it, which is doubly cool.
i like that i'm not upset or jealous or anything remotely enfant terrible and shit.
put that armor in your duct-taped suitcase bitch ass bitch.
pussy cunt.

open sex talk is so much more fun, more appealing, more real, more heal.
fuck tonight.
that is the plan.fuck tonight.
that is the plan.
fuck tonight.
fuck tonight.
no beat measures needed for this night.
intercourse is the plan.
intercourse is the way.
intercourse is the firm desire of the overwhelming majority of people now present in this head.
drinking cheap $6.99 mixed white wine from trader joe's helps, as well as a slight fantasy about eating chickens goats and hamhocks with mickey mouse and julius erving.


i just now pulled a nasty-ass rubber band out of The Kitty's mouth.
that is fucking disgusting.
now i have cat esophagus juice on my right knuckle.
that is fucking bullshit.

fuck you.