since it seems as if i am now, sort of understanding my life and how it works,
and that any action has a reaction.
just like teachers used to tell me.

i can't believe it.

wwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammm

this thin hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

ovulating
crescents
shards
disassociative
why does everything have to be rooted in reality? that is the problem we have yes.
that is the problem
what is is about this.
what is it.
you know.
you know but you don't want to really know the truth, even though it is staring you in the face.
and then some

some
some
some
some
some

i have to loook at th positives as i shift into this hole that i'm about to enter.
and here go.......
loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop
my problem with psychedelics is that i analyze them sooooo much that i belittle and put down , as if to say "is that all you've got you fuckin pussy?"
because really, that's where the disconnect develops.
the sun needs to just shine.
that's all we need.
tripping and reading really don't mix.
that is the problem.
no one can really quantify the drug experience completely because the focus becomes too much.
this music seems to be really helping my experience.

thkin
thinking
in the same way with better spelling.

shards

lasers

shooting over my head. i'm in awe.
you should be too.
they're right above you. too.
they're around you now. swimming in the air.
there's a slight film, in between the screen and me.
see how this is all changing.morphing. seething. dissolving. emerging.
reliving.
patronizing.
forgiving
lvoing
loving
pageantry
is the key
feel the white space. that's all you really have
that one space.
that one white space that you can go to.
that's where i go. once in awhile and the song is over and the overwhelming sound of you punching the keyboard becomes apparent and just as suddenly, like a person who shows up at a party uninvited, the music playing now does not work at all.
fuck you mammal.
......



and suddenly my world has been narrowed.
my world is direct.
my world is in action.

that beat that dips just below the sex line. you know the one.
the one.
beat.
beat.
beat.
beat.

it's there.
listen.
chill.

hearit?
you need the white space staring back at you.
i can tell you that.
it's a given.
a must.
a must.
stop being so goddamned self-reflective.obsessed. can't you see the writing on the screen asshole? i know you can. it's coming from somewhere.
maybe the chair can help. as it comes alive at this very second.
and moves me downward.
how is it that chair decides that it's time to move around a little bit despite the fact that my physical body remains intact. how can that happen?
rich brisk beats.
ovaltine.
in the streets.
comfort.
not far.
danger
not big time danger
looking lookin looking
music is the answer
it is so simple
yes
all will be saved
all will be lost
nothing has been won
nothing has been lost

hate your real true champion of the deep.
i crave it.
i do know that i am officially here now.
i know that.
ok?
i am
iam
i fucking am
listen to those synthesized sounds@!

more running than a merger.
i have no idea what that means, which is a cliche, in itself.
what am i doing?
is this the new god?

god is not what you think.

did i stutter?

i know you must read it again.
go back.


i'll wait.
i've got this page and all.



punch it