Friday, January 17, 2003

at least you know what you're saying when she drops off the tomato juice.
there's never a chance of making up your christmas holiday season is there.

can you believe it?
it's happened again.
i'm unemployed.
well, it went from being kinda weird on wednesday, me thinking i was going to have a day or two left, to fucking nothing.

see how it was all bullshit.
of course, i'm upset about the whole EBE thing but what can you do?
at the time, i thought i was making the right decision by not taking the job, not switch jobs for the nth time in the last year and a half. too much moving, too much change, too much getting accustomed to new people, new subculture, new duties, new weird the 404, code for going to use the bathroom at whole foods....that place was interesting though.
but yeah, whatever.
i worked there a month.
though i'll never forget standing outside whole foods, holiding a candle in a vigil after 9/11. fucked up.
fucked up.
spaghetti and meatballs.

it's all bullshit. this whole mess. this whole thing. this fucking world and it's bullshit. it stinks.
yet here we are lockstep ready to got war with some fucking country that has nothing to do with anything. oh i recognize the danger, manger boy, but jesus jeebus, come ON.
lame lame lame lame lame lame.
can you hear what i'm saying?
he was really saying nothing.

conde nast.

so here i am.. back to this.
back to this.
here. this.
so what of it.
of course.

lamination is the answer.

so here we are. here we go.
more of the same. yet different.
yet think of all the cool people you met whilst engaged in this constant moving back and forth. forth and back.
here and there.
learning the city and all its nuances. say, hey now we're on to something.
hey, yeh, no, low?
pungent stench.

oh but to be something.
so here i go, plunging forward into the abyss, coming off a double dose of whammies and not trying all that hard to pitch. those days are changing though.
but coming up with new cool stories that the minions will demand, they must have in their grubby little hands and devour it, not stoppping to read it for more than a second or two, so absorbed that they miss their bart/muni stop.
it's chaos. you want it to be chaos.
to be as much about the wordplay as what's being said.
even if what's being said makes no sense and is complete and utter non sequiter nonsense.
people will crave.
they will yearn.
they will want it for themselves.

so yeah, i had a funny feeling i woke up this morning.
good thing i've been a bit of a slacker of late. maybe subconsciously i knew.
doubtful totally.
i got blindsided with this on wednesday, moments after coming back in from a late afternoon lunch at some french cafe up near china town with misa, hanging tough while we talked potential new things on the horizon,things we want to do to change the musical interests of this town, because we can change the world.
you know how it is.
see. we are a cut above. a cut above. we are better than most. we just need to execute. to make it happen. and it will. it will happen. there's no way for it not to happen.
it's ours for the taking. ours. for sure. people appreciate deep thought, original thinking, uniqueness, different.
we think differently.
or we think different, according to apple.
my coffee in my stolen from a bar pint glass is getting cold. it is cold in our place because the goddamn heater isn't working and our portable heater isn't working and i can't go get another one because my goddamn car isn't working, died on the same day as the heater, just got into the car and it wouldnt' start, battery dead or some sort of electrical issue.
the case.
it is dead. will not start. i have had no time to do anything else.
and tonight i must find porn for tina.
i must get earthlink, so i can still get online.
aol is no more.

so i got the frantic call from misa while my phone was charging, turned off. i didn't leave for work until 10:30am.
they were waiting for me, the people from the employment agency. tim the slacker, the late ass, the guy who had to be woken up by john gaines two days prior at noon because the dumb ass didn't wake up...didn't really give a shit...though neither did john, not really. maybe he already knew then.

but first we were told, that day, after coming back from the french cafe, full of exciting ideas and just as taken aback about running into tina's old boss, just back in town from australia, the guy who still owes major money to tina, they were just randomly walking by, on their way to go meet with weird how things work sometimes huh? fucking bizarre.

john yanks me aside, as if there was some urgent thing, sits me down and tells me that they're shutting down san jose and sacramento, folding them over into San Francisco page.
oh fuck, fuck fuck fuck, not again.
but then john says that he thinks i've done a good job (which is sort of questionable but hey, who am i to fucking quibble?) shit. ass.
he says that if they only cut one, my job is safe. but why would that happen since they were shutting down two cities.
but then he says he has work for me. which i barely did any of.
mostly it was letting people know i potentially was fucked.
it is weird to know i dont' have to worry about the page anymore.
there is a peace about that.
how long was this job?
right before halloween.
october, late october.
not quite three months.
wow. how lame can it get?

they keep getting shorter and shorter.
it's all over, everything is over.
the misa mindmeld happened for a reason. we will help each other. we can help each other.
she is good. she is what i needed, a good kick in the ass. she is smart and such.
good good.

so i got the call while my phone was charging. i didn't leave till like 10:30am, not arriving to work till about 11:10am.
i had a funny feeling before i got the call, before i checked the voicemail. i knew something was up, something was not right. fucked up. but then, i can always sense things.
that is my gift, the thing that i always follow up with to my friends in the know that "if i could only harness this power, everything would work out just right."
see, that's the thing.
fucking a.
but how do i do that?
follow baal to the ends of the earth?
i don't think so mochito.
last night at butter, when billysirr told me that his pal who works at aol digital city said more layoffs were going down in LA on friday, today.
hmmm, i thought.
could be could be.
hope not.
could be.
this is becoming routine to me know.
cannot dwell on the missed opportunity though.
do not.
even though it's hard.
so i stink right now.
good thing smelling your own stench is ok for some reason.
you like you.
so i'm not sure, get the call from misa, she's scared, sounds weird.

something about arne's email saying the SF office was closed. now it wasn't just me and brendan saying goodbye. it was everyone.
damn, just when things were starting to click among us.
of course, i come in at the tail end of things once again, like i'm always late with everything else in my life.
could be in the cards richter boy.
so when i walked in, i knew almost immediately.
people couldn't believe i already knew. amazing.
no way.
northern state is a fine hip-hop act from NYC.

so i was yanked away immediately after john told me what was up, and there i went off to see the spherion people, the english woman with the big glasses and sharp accent. friendly, firm, warm.
i liked her.
and so we said our shit, they said their shit, and i was off to go through all my crap...did i mention the security guard camped on our floor?
he was friendly , a fine fellow.
enjoyable. we had a good rapport.
he liked the magazine selection i was throwing in the pile.
actually he really didn't like the magazine selection.
he wasn't all that down with that shit.
he wasn't.
but wanted other ones. he liked the wave. ha ha mother fucker.
point it at the buoy.
mad about the buoy

and then i spent several hours (maybe two) going through all my email, sending it to a brand new account i just set up and off to the races i went. fuck yeah fuckpig.

no more no more no more. it was a nice view. dammit. i liked it. it was easy.
bothersome, sure, but come on.
it wasn't that difficult.
i made it hard.
wasn't my fault yet again.

the post-work hangout with all those people i didn't every really hang out with was cool.
more fun than i would have thought.
and ol condes, she's not what the package says it is.
and she knows it.
so cool.
these are good people.

seeing ol' kim getting her smoke on at that place...shit where were we again? not expansion was it?
that other place...over by church...not chow.
i don't konw the damn name charles.

it was fun fun fun.
mega mega white thing mega mega mega mega.
dammit charles at least you have a melon ball for us.
fudge fo rme.
suck fist of fake ness.
ok back to the mission at hand. sexual favors for all and to all a good night.
make love to pins.

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